Just Stop This Shit

Alert - may contain words and idea unsuitable for people under 18.

Clarification -I am not against homosexuality. It is the linking of people's name to it without a solid ground for it that is bothering me. In the post the words 'dirty' and 'disgusting' etc has been used for the mindset of people, and not about anyone's sexual preference at all.
 
I am sick of people not being able to think beyond sex and sexuality, and sexualising every damn thing they see. Tells me where the damn perverts are born from really!

Everything is looked on sexually. And now this cry about Mahatma Gandhi being bi-sexual. I have a simple thing to say here. Petty people cannot look beyond themselves, to them the entire world is as petty as are they, and hence they cannot even conceive or even begin to understand greatness. I am sure soon enough someone will come up with sickening stories on Jesus, Ram and more, well just because they think that everyone is as shallow as them. Abstinence, is not easy, and all those who are sexually active will know that. How many of us can even imagine giving it up for life? Very few, and most of those who do would not even succeed! So the people who have or did, are now labelled with all kinds of names, because dimwits cannot think beyond themselves or their own lack of self control. If someone does not or did not marry and remained a bachelor or spinster, they must have been homosexual. If they had a close friend of the same sex, they must have been homosexual or bi-sexual.

I wonder what warped world these people come from, or is the world getting so warped, that we cannot think beyond the nasty? Have these people never had friends, or have they never had any relationship in their lives that was not about sex? If you have not been able to tell till now, I am extremely enraged. Takes me back to the one thing that irritated me about JK Rowling, her claim about Dumbledore's homosexuality. Yeah well, its her character, and she can shape it as she pleases, but why does he have to be homosexual or not?

Somehow, no one aspires to be better anymore I think, its about pulling people down to your dirty level. I want to have sex outside of marriage, I do it, and then claim the whole world does, they just don't say it. Why be ashamed of what I did, why let there be a moral high ground? I would rather pull everyone down to my dirty level.Makes life easier doesn't it. So everything has an OK, any kind of sex, any kind of relationship and wow what a wonderful world we have.

I have not read the book, and I would like to believe the author, Joseph Lelyveld, when he says people are misquoting and misunderstanding his work, but its the very idea that people think this way that sickens me. I can bet my entire life, that not one of these so called writers or critics have the guts to do one tenth of what the Mahatma did for not just India, but the world. So what do they do, they try to tarnish his image and give  new dimensions to his persona. Its been done before, its being done again. Its shameful and utterly disgusting, if you cannot emulate any of his great principles, and I am sure most of us don't even try, the least we can do is show respect, and admire a great man.

Each and everyday I seem to find something that tells me how little we value our morals, and how easily we let virtues rot. Commitments, who needs them, its ok to break them. Extra marital relationships happen, there are bad relationships ....... what about commitment, what about honesty? And while it does take place, there is no denying that, to actually accept it as acceptable, by mainstream society is what scares me so so much. No one thinks its a virtue to be patient, or humble. If you don't beat your own drum you lose out, and again the worst bit is not just doing it, but claiming, that to be the right thing to do. God! I can go on endlessly about this, and it will just make my blood boil some more. I am too enraged and upset to be coherent I think, so I will link you up to a post, which is written clearly and precisely, talking about many many more such incidents and I loved it.

The fact is, morality exists for a reason. No I am no supporter of the Shiv Sena or Shri Ram Sena, but it breaks my heart to see how easily everyone lets go of anything moral, by giving it a million different names, to do things that are easy and require no self control or restraint. And it is really shameful to not only do that, but the people who really led the hard life by following the moral principles of life, being trivialised, and made to look petty. I personally know two women, one of whom was a spinster all her life, dedicated to the profession of teaching, and I can guarantee she died a virgin. Another widowed before thirty, who never indulged in any kind of sexual activity for the years after. If anyone dares, call them homosexual, or whatever I will personally wreck physical havoc on them. I have just this to say to such people, "I pity your existence, without any morality or ethics, because not only is your mindset lowly, the sad bit is you can never even comprehend what greatness look like. Much like the pig which can never even look at the sky, but lives and eats filth."

A True Role Model

It never ceases to amaze me, how truly great people, never blame the circumstances, no matter how tough it gets. They harbour no malice for people who may have treated them in ways, that is nothing short of cruel. I wish that someday, I am able to achieve such a mentality, where I can look beyond any negative influences in my life. It is not that I have never tried, and that is possibly why, I appreciate even more, the people who are capable of doing it, because its not easy. Came across this article in the newspaper yesterday, and it left me, inspired and in awe.

This is a 27 year old woman called Rukhma Lakshman Kale, residing in a village in Maharashtra. She is a volunteer with UNICEF, and is working to help young girls and women in villages, by encouraging them to go to school, as well as by teaching them basic life skills like personal hygiene, basic banking and accounting and so on. Inspiring enough just for this, but what really amazed me, was her personal story, for which she holds no grudges. She was made to live in a cowshed with a newborn baby, and yet all she says is, "It could have happened to anyone.". How many of us can ever be that gracious? We crib and bitch for hours about minor incidents we might have experienced at work, or with in-laws. And here is a woman, who  is a single mother, bringing up her child alone, with no grudges, and actually doing something concrete to make a difference to the society.

And that is what I think a true role-model should be like. truly inspiring, in every aspect. Unfortunately we look at models and actresses as your goals for body image, and then think we are good enough ourselves to not need to change ever. And we shortchange ourselves for life that way. Because we don't believe in really changing or trying to excel as a person. I am inspired by women, people like Rukhma. Who are truly role-models and  are actually acting for change. Who or what inspires you?

Taking A Step

...... small as it maybe.

The abysmal state of preparations for the CommonWealth Games(CWG) are no secret to the world. How terribly it has tarnished the name of India, we can all imagine. It hurts to see a new piece about the bad state of affairs in Delhi, each time I turn in to the news of the television. Not being too into sports helps at times like this, but I can not will not ever stop being an Indian. Last week on my way to work(yes, its work to me now, ever since the GP, asked me 'Aren't you in office?'), traveling in the tram, I had to sit through a rough half an hour, with the woman sitting next to me, talking to a co-traveller, about the CWG, and adding onto it, with many other negative comments on India. I fought hard not to let my tears out. Got off the tram, reached office, and actually took a while to compose myself, before I actually went to work. And it was then that I decided, that though I am not physically in India, and even if I had been, there was not much I could have practically done, to help with the Games, but I decided to do something, something more than whining and complaining. And so I decided to write to the PM of India. And I did. The first draft, was very me, raw, emotional, angry, accusatory, and to me very honest too. I let The GP have a read before I mailed it, and in his usual cool way of going about things, he said, "Its nice. But, I doubt if it will ever reach the PM, with kind of aggression the letter portrays." Earlier I would have sent it anyways, but now I thought, what's the point in taking the effort and not making it count, so I toned it down, re-wrote it and finally posted it yesterday. I am happy that I did something instead of sitting and cribbing about things. One of the reasons I stopped posting on my old blog, on social issues, was because I did not want to just write without doing anything concrete, about things. I think its pointless to rant and rave, and write, and in actuality do absolutely nothing to turn things around. So this is my little bit.

This is what I wrote, and I promise to tell you, if I hear back from him.

"Dear Mr. Singh,

I write this letter to you, in a state of great mental anguish today. I write to you, because I want to do something concrete, instead of lying around, whining, complaining and feeling miserable, as I usually end up feeling in situations like these. I am writing this to you, because I think the ultimate responsibility of India lies with you, every aspect of it, is ultimately your responsibility. And hence, you are the person I am reaching out to with my complaint, or should I say humiliation.

I am currently living in Australia, where my husband works to earn a living, and these days, I step out of my home, onto the streets, with a cold fear in my heart. The fear of being humiliated, or hearing taunts about the state of things regarding the CommonWealth Games. Today, as I was traveling by tram to my place of work, a middle-aged lady, came and sat next to me, she began talking to the man sitting across from us, and during the course of her conversation, she said, "Oh well! There is nothing to say about the Commonwealth Games ofcourse, with ceilings falling off, what can we say." There was more, and besides the words, the tone of the speaker, left no doubt about the feeling of disgust and pity she had towards India. It hurt, and it hurt bad. I upset me a great deal. I was almost in tears by the time I reached my stop, and it took me a while to calm done and settle into my work for the day. I went on with my day, but felt like a knife had stabbed my heart, and was left there.

Why sir, do we let our own country down so badly? Why with a population of over a billion people, could we not make a complete success of the Games? Why have we become objects of ridicule and humiliation in front of the world? Why is the state of things so abysmal, when we have but a handful of days left for the Games to begin. You are the head of the state, and you can command its resources, as you see fit, why then sir, did you allow things to go so terribly awry? I am terribly dejected and disappointed, by the way India's name and image have been tarnished, and I can only ask you, what are your plans to turn things around?

Kind Regards,
A disheartened Indian."

It is not a big deal, I know, but it is an effort to make myself heard. And if anyone else, is interested, in taking such steps, you can find the contact details of the Indian PM online, and you can even send him an e-mail of upto 500 words, if you wish to. It is not a lot of effort, but it can be one step you take, to make a difference. Don't cave in, don't give up. Keep trying.

Letter To The Prime Minister

Dear Mr. Singh,

I write this letter to you, in a state of great mental anguish today. I write to you, because I want to do something concrete, instead of lying around, whining, complaining and feeling miserable, as I usually end up feeling. I am writing this to you, because I think the ultimate responsibility of India lies with you, every aspect of it, is ultimately your responsibility. I cannot do much else, but I think I need you to hear out my complaints, because I am an Indian, and you are my country's Prime Minister.

I am currently living in Australia, where my husband works to earn a living, and these days, I step out of my home, onto the streets, with a cold fear in my heart. Not unfounded, sir, but completely your fault. Today, as I was traveling by train to my place of work, a middle-aged lady, came and sat next to me, she began talking to the man sitting across from us, and during the course of her conversation, she said, "Oh well! There is nothing to say about the Commonwealth games ofcourse, with ceilings falling off, what can we say." There was more, and besides the words, the tone of the speaker, left no doubt about the feeling of disgust and pity she had towards India. It hurt, and it hurt bad. I don't know if it bothers you, but it upset me a great deal. I was almost in tears by the time I reached my stop, and it took me a while to calm done and settle into my work for the day. I went on with my day, but felt like a knife had stabbed my heart, and was left there.

For all of it, I hold no one but you responsible. Because, you are the Prime Minister of India, and the country is your responsibility. Every aspect of it. The communal riots, your failure, the corruption your failure, the poverty, the homelessness, your failure, every crime committed, every terrorist attack that happens in the country is your personal failure sir. Not that of the government, the law, the states, but you personal failure. They all work under you, you command every bit of it, you sit on top of the pyramid, and hence if you enjoy the benefits of that position, you and you alone are to blame to. If you say, it is not possible to take care of it all, then you must be unfit for the position, and should not have tried to take on a responsibility that is too big for you. With resources of over 1 billion people at hand, nothing is impossible, for the man who really cares to make a difference. You sir, have simply no excuses. I believe that when you were sworn into your office, there was some sense of pride and responsibility in you, about the work you were entrusted with. Obviously I was mistaken. As the head of the nation, you have failed us at every level, and you are bringing nothing but shame to India. You provide it with neither safety, nor security, neither food, nor water, and you cannot even ensure that the CommonWealth Games take place well, for which you received money.

I will end by saying, you fail me, my country, and my fellow country men. I am severely ashamed of you, and what you and your gang(I don't think it will be fair to call a bunch of corrupt, criminal people, the government, just because they managed to prise their way into the parliament by hook or by crook.) are doing to MY country, because its you, who is responsible for the sad state of affairs.

Yours Truly,
A Disgruntled Indian.

What Do You Give Your Child?

A love for books,
or maybe a taste for music,
Or would it be a brain for numbers,
A passion for sports it could be,
Or maybe even cinema.

Painting, dancing, birds and animals, or even spirituality. There are so so so many things to choose from. So what is it that you give your child? I am sure most in the blog-world would love to instill in their children a love and passion for reading, but then I am sure there are just as many out there who want their children to have a good ear for music, or whatever else they hold dear to them. And when I see parents around me taking so much loving effort to instill in their child, a passion, a hobby, or a love, I wonder what to do with mine?

Each one seems so passionate about what they foster into their offspring, that I get inspired by each and every one of them, and finally end up being a Jack of all trades master of none with the BB. And in this process, I have learned that I cannot do it all. I cannot get him to sing, dance, read, hop, jump, play, paint and more all in one go. Or atleast not with equal gusto. So what then do I do? Isn't he too young for me to pick a single skill a passion to instill. Isn't this the time he learns, sees, explores and picks out what he loves the most, I think. At the end of the day, I don't want to push him either way, I want him to go ahead, and be what he wants to be, and do what he wants to do. (Only hope I have enough money in the bank to transfer in his name, incase he wants to just be a street-side artist!) And yet I need to show him the choices he has.

I know he is introduced to everything in his day-care centre, and I know of parents who play mental-maths quizzes with their kids all day long. I know I have been the person who thought getting a management degree would be the pinnacle of her life. And I thank God that, it did not happen, because it would have been such a sheer and colossal waste of money, on an undiplomatic, non-corporate work worthy person like me. I know now, that the last kind of job I am suitable for is corporate management. But, then, I did not know any better. I knew about studies, school, college, professional degrees and that was it. I don't want the BB's vision to be narrowed in anyway like that. I want him to be free to look around and decide what he wants in his life.

A little too young for me to think so much you say, but believe me it is not. Because somewhere in life, the seeds of the kind of person we are, are sown in childhood. And I definitely don't want to bungle up here. No I am no perfect parent, I am as flawed, and imperfect as can be. But then I have my priorities too, and one of the main ones being, to give my child the freedom to choose his own life. Not to say I will not guide him, or instill in him humane values, but he has to choose the purpose of his life himself. I don't want it set upon him in anyway at all. While I want him to like books, music, the outdoors and some other things, I am worried that I should not force any of them on him. Now maintaining the right balance would be one tough job isn't it? Because what I truly want to give my child, is freedom, to carve out a path of his choice in life. Where he can follow his dreams and passions as he likes.

Till just a little while ago, I was so worried, about what he would learn from the world around him. When he was little, I could control the environment he lives in, the people he sees, but that was not to be the way all his life. I used to worry then, about him learning 'bad things' from the world outside.(To be clear I was not an all good influence, but then as I said, it was a controlled environment.) So once the BB started playschool, and his day-care sessions, he started coming home with a mixed bag of learnings. Some I liked, some not so much. And my initial reaction to it, like it is to most things that upset me, was panic. I was aghast, when I learnt that he was pushing other children. Oh! no, I thought. This is just because of the other kids, how else would he ever have learnt to push others like that. Yes, I am a fool that way. But this also helped me learn one of the bigger lessons of parenting. What is the test of a parent, whose child has no external influences to test him. The BB, maybe yet too young, for such huge philosophical statements, but the lesson has come to me in time, before he grows older, and I am in a constant state of panic. The important thing is for a child to go out, see, observe, learn and most importantly have the sense to select what he learns. It is upto me to teach him the guiding values and principles, which help him pick and choose. And that is no easy task I reckon!

After a really long time, I was browsing the newspapers online, and I came across this article, which really shocked surprised me. It talks of a man who is a master of astro-genetics, who used his knowledge to have children of a preferred sex twice(male of course) and to have a genius child the third time round(male again ofcourse!). The genius son is now all of 22, and stepping into IIT, Powai as a professor. I know a lot of parents out there who want their kids to be a genius, or a musical maestro or some other thing like that. There are plenty of tennis dads out there. But, what I do know for sure is, that as a parent, I would want my child to be just normal, and most importantly happy. I would never ever want to tweak the circumstances, to create something 'better', unless physical ailments are the cause of concern. The children we do have are the best that we can, and we love them for who they are. This kind of manipulation, takes the concept of 'conditional love' from parents to new heights. Scary, and scary indeed.

Shame Shame Jaspreet Singh

Just after the incident of an Indian man being burnt in my neighbourhood, I had written a post, about the angst and fear I felt. The attacks on people of Indian origin have been happening for a while here and everyone has acknowledged that the violence needs to be controlled in the area, even if whether the attacks are racial in nature or not, is still being debated. This is something the whole world is keeping an eye on at this point of time.

The Victorian government agencies have, but naturally, a defensive attitude. Though they cannot help but accept the fact that there is indeed unnecessary violent attacks happening, and they need to be controlled. Of so many attacks if not all, atleast a few have definitely been racial in nature, and this is the right time, to have the government investigate that and deal with the radical elements in the society. Things seemed to be going right on track, just the right way, till a certain Mr. Jaspreet Singh came up with his grand plans, and gave the government a good reason to pass the buck right back at the Indians.

AN Indian man who said he was set alight by assailants near his Melbourne home last month accidentally burned himself while torching his car for an insurance claim, police allege.

Is what opens the article. And I am stunned. This man, at such a sensitive time, behaved in the most insensitive and unbelievable fashion possible for persona, financial gain. He does not seem to be someone needing money for his daily bread, so this incident just reeks of greed. I will not say..... Indians are like this or that, because I truly believe people belonging to any nationality, would do such things for money, infact so many do it. Insurance fraud is more rampant in western countries, which provide insurance coverage, than does India. The thing is his timing could not have been worse! Just when things were making a headway, the police commissioner accepted the presence of racial elements, and openly spoke about the need to work on it, up comes the i*&#@ Mr. Singh and botches it all up. I personally want to curse him for giving me the terrible scare and entirely spoilt weekend, which included a dinner party, that he did! Each time I saw him walking out of the court on the telly, I felt like throwing something at him. The audacity the man has, to say

He and his wife planned a holiday to India, leaving on February 20 and returning in late April to visit his child and extended family.

Does he have neither sense nor shame? While it would not matter much to me, if this incident had taken place at any other time, in the current situation, he seems to be acting like an agent for the Victorian government, giving them just the excuse they need to shift blame. His stupid stupid act has hurt the entire Indian community and their credibility in the worst way possible right now. The Premier Mr.Johm Brumby, has obviously found exactly what he needed, and is slamming the Indian media and government right back after all the flak they have received from those very quarters. Though i don't see it in the print media, the news on TV yesterday claimed, that Brumby said, people are forming a mistaken opinion of a violent Victoria, because of people like Jaspreet Singh. I don't know if he has really said that, but if he has, he needs a reality check.

It is just sad, that a time when India and Indians needed to be in the right, so that the attacks on the Indians here could have been rightly investigated, a fellow Indian has let us down so bad. Shame Shame Jaspreet Singh, I am really really disappointed with you.

Another piece of investigation about an Indian, Ranjodh Singh killed in NSW, led to murderers, who themselves are Indians, and so it can be safely said, the killing was not racial in nature, esp since it was done by people of the very same community. Yes, community is very important people, never should an Indian forget that whether he is living in India or abroad. I don't know whether I should be happy or not, but honestly at a very personal level, I am ashamed of the show of communal-ism we Indians portray. When I looked up Indian associations in the neighbourhood, this is what I found. These are separate associations for Punjabis, Bengalis, Maharashtrians, Kahmiris, Telegus and more. And I am quite sure each one will boast of larger number of members than the 'Indian' association. It really hurts to know I belong to a country, where we don't belong to the country, but to states and communities, and whatever other stupid nonsensical subdivisions we have. Maybe India should actually be divided into strips of land, for each of these subdivisions, and then maybe I can openly cry for losing something that does not even exist.

Huh?

Oh! How this would crush all the Indian wants of the chubbiest baby possible. A four month old baby in the US was denied Health Insurance because he was deemed too fat. It would be worth a good grand laugh, if it were not so completely absurd. And the only reason it possibly worked was because it was in the US. In India, imagine that happening?

Ever since the BB was born, I have constantly been bearing the brunt about his weight and eating habits. The initial months as a new mother was extremely tough for me, as I would doubt myself. A certain relative, always wanted me to feed him till he puked, and was constantly grumbling about how I eat good(read spicy) food and feed the BB, (a mere six months at that time,) bland things. The hilarity of it all puts a smile on my face now, when I can picture feeding some spicy mutton roast to my six month old, just-on-solids baby, but back then it used to just get on my nerves.

(Pic Courtesy: blogs.babble.com)

Getting back to the news, it might have been just an excuse for the Insurance Company to make some money, but the excuse does not get any more strange. Little Alex seems like quite an average four month old from the photo, so I indeed wonder if the Company wants super-model like size sero figures right from birth. It would change the entire concept of pregnancy, a woman would need to starve instead of eat through it. Alex's father, Bernie's statement was just perfect for the situation.

“I could understand if we could control what he’s eating. But he’s 4 months old. We can’t put him on the Atkins diet or on a treadmill,” Bernie joked. “There is just something absurd about denying an infant.”

In a world that is actually going crazy, and where little seems to be done for any purpose besides making money, when there is little sense or logic to actions, this piece of news really makes me wonder, how absurd can absurd get?