Well, so the training I was singing praises about is finally over. Yesterday was our last session. And yes, I am sad. My Wednesdays will not be the same. Being in a room full of opinionated, intelligent, strong, passionate and yet extremely compassionate women, would leave anyone a richer and smarter person. I did a lot of foot-in-mouth stupidities, and yet I never felt judged. I go on the phone for the first time tomorrow, so I need all the good wishes and blessings I can get. But that is not what this post is about. This is about something that was discussed, at the end of the session yesterday, and left me wanting to say a lot, and more importantly once again brought to the fore my thoughts on the topic of feminism.
It was a five minute, self evaluation on how we felt at the end of the training, and it was then that I realised, that like a lot of other things in life, I had, through this training come to a full circle around my opinions and views on feminism. As a child growing up, I felt very strongly against the inequality between men and women or rather girls and boys as I saw it at that age. I saw it everywhere, in families who were part of the educated, moneyed middle-class of society, the stinking rich, the poor, it happened everywhere. When I look back now, I find it a bit surprising, that I was so infuriated by the situation, especially considering the fact, that being an only child, I did not have to deal with any such issue in my own life. But like most issues that are related to inequality and discrimination of any kind, I was passionate about it. But things changed.
The past few years, the term feminism, had me looking at it cynically. I had seen just way too many women, use it as a ruse to act selfishly. Rich women, with loving families, who don't want to do their part, women who use it as an excuse to reap the benefits and shy away from the duties. Feminism is not about getting the upper hand in every marital discord, or not breast feeding, or making sure that a woman does not take care of her children just because the father is not doing so(because he was at work), or yes, claiming she does not need to cook, because her husband does not... may I add here, that she does not do anything else concretely either. Yes, I have met and heard of women like that. I have heard about the huge fuss being made about continuing with her maiden surname after marriage, by women who actually do continue with it anyways. And while I agree, that it should be a woman's free-will, what name or surname she wants to use, at whichever point of time in her life, it just takes away from the real issues a feminist is fighting for, issues that determine the course of a woman's life. I think such women in the name of feminism, take away from what feminism is all about, they completely dilute the severity of the true cause. No I am not supporting women, who think they have the right to drink till they throw up, in the name of feminism, or women who think they should have many casual sexual encounters because men do, in the name of feminism, or women who say they are feminists and can hence sneer upon others who are more traditional in their outlook or lifestyle. And that being the case, I had become quite disillusioned about feminism.
And then I joined this organisation which is openly feminist in its views. Initially, I was not sure, how I would fit in, based on my the existing view of feminism and feminists. But then things changed. As I learnt and discussed, about the real issues facing women, violence, lack of rights, stereotyping, lack of options and choices, being controlled and dominated, being left alone with children and without any money to fend for themselves, I left more than one training session, enraged, angry and disturbed. And in the process found once again my true passion for feminist causes and issues. Being a mother now, just sensitises me more. And I found the gap between the true feminist, and the pseudo-feminist.
A feminist is a person(yes it could be a man too), who in actuality is bothered by discrimination or inequality of any kind, and is particularly sensitive to the issues, faced by women, because they are women, whether in her personal life or professional. That is how I define the feminist. A feminist would feel equally for a friend who is a victim of domestic violence, as she would for the poor homeless one, because she does not discriminate based of social or financial status of a person. She would feel for the boy, of a rich business family, who is taken out of school to work in the family business, while his sisters go on to college and more, just as much for the girl, who is taken out of school, to earn some to contribute to the family income, while her brother is allowed to do as he pleases. But yes, the feminist, would fight a bit harder for the girl, because she is after all a feminist. A feminist does not say all men are d*$#, but she is strong enough to stand up against any man(or woman) who takes away from any woman's basic human rights. And so, yes, that is me a re-born feminist. And believe me, I will fight any woman who tries to dilute the true issues, and problems facing women, with their fluff about the right to smoke.
*sigh* I feel liberated! And this was so important to get off my chest, that well past mid-night, I am up typing this, because I had to say it. Cheers to all the feminists of the world.
Showing posts with label Training n Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Training n Work. Show all posts
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
The Month Of June, Me And Some More
A blogger ... do I qualify to be called one anymore? I don't know, and judging myself, I would say no. I have done just two posts in the whole of June, nothing that was thought provoking, or about things I think about, things that invoke the thinking-me, but just one-off updates on what has been up in the Goofy family. I don't think this post would be much different either. And honestly I don't think too many people are going to read it. For one, in a world inundated with professional writers, a nobody like me, hardly makes for good-writing, and so I have but a few readers, most of them read me just out of courtesy, since they have now also become my friends add to that the huge intervals in my posts, I really cannot expect people to come back and read now can I? And hence, secure in the knowledge that pretty much no-one is reading me, I will write haphazardly, just the way my mind works.
I am in a strange place right now mentally. I don't know if I qualify to be called a working-woman or an SAHM or even a part-time-working-mum. I seem to be somewhere in between all of that. Besides being tremendously self-satisfying, my work does seem to have all the downsides of working, and none of the upsides. I am working, but I don't make money. I spend time away from home, away from family, but gain nothing monetarily in return. Infact I end up spending quite a bit in my travel, eat-outs, day-care charges for the BB and such. Add to that, this work, comes with home-work (I am still training remember? So I have things to read up, assignments and presentations to work on), which means I need to dedicate time to it during the rest of the week. And with the commitment being 1 day a week, during training, and just half-day a week post that....... my slog-like-a-dog = work trained mind, cannot really accept this as work. And so if anyone asks me, I don't think I would say that I work. And hence I am in middle-land, and I really don't know what label will suit me the best. But what makes it all worth it, is the immense sense of self-satisfaction, finally understanding that I am in a field of work that I really like, and would love to pursue for the rest of my life. This is the kind of work that would leave me with a contended tiredness at the end of a hard day's work.
This month we celebrated the GP's birthday..... And I did not even do a post on it. So you can imagine, exactly how hard-pressed I am for time. I am the kind of person, whose writing and thinking is polished with practice, and when I have not posted in a while, my mind is all rusted and has very little to say, amazing thoughts, don't translate into more than just that one-line of the basic thought. And hence there was no post on his birthday. I think the GP being him was the least bit affected by it. Birthdays mean nothing to him, and unfortunately that emotion transcends even to the BB's and my birthdays. But on the up-side, that means there is not much I need to do for his. There was the customary cake, which the man, wanted, plain vanilla, with no icing. He is a all substance, no show man, and well, it shows. His birthday present was the much needed replacement of the laptop the BB destroyed, well let me be honest and say, that I just chipped in a bit of the cost. The BB and I wore new clothes for the day, while the GP himself did no such thing. And that is how the day was spent. Oh! yes, and an absolutely delightful Indian meal at a local restaurant. Loved it! It being the man's birthday, I only feel fortunate and thankful that he is mine, and supports me the way he does, inspires me to improve myself as a person, and guides me so well in that journey. Yes, if anyone needs it to be said plainly, I love him, for being mine.
All those with plain and at most times terrible hand-writings just like myself, was there anyone with that ornamental hand-writing in your school or college whom you completely envied for that. Well I had more than one. One of them is in-fact even a blogger. Her class-notes' notebooks, would be neater and prettier than my fair-copies. Its not just that the writings are cursive, or neat or beautiful, but what I envied most was the naturality with which it was produced. I would look at such peoples' handwriting, be inspired, and try to get there. Well I would atleast turn up my own work up, a few notches, but nothing to match these people, and most importantly, it would mean writing much slower and more consciously. Its been a long long time, since I have seen those gorgeous hand-writings, and I had pretty much forgotten about my own failings in the department, and was contented with my sloppy work. But then, just this weekend, my sweet loving GP, decided to buy me a fountain pen, after all, since I love it so much. He looked up the store online, and took me there. Its heaven for a stationery lover like me. The fact that pretty much everything in the store is more expensive than precious metals and stones, is not to be mentioned of course. But, then I digress. Just as I finalised a pen, and was testing the various nibs available with it, on a writing pad, I saw the words written by someone who had tried out a pen earlier, and I felt ashamed to even scribble on the same piece of paper. It was beautiful, like a work of art, and I stared at the words, 'Electric Dreams', written in beautiful cursive handwriting, in a clean straight line, on a plain piece of paper. I was once again engulfed in the shame of my own horrible hand-writing, like I was back in school-days. Even my best attempts don't compare. And I just wish I could have a beautiful cursive hand-writing. Surprisingly all the women in my family, right from my grandmother, have the kind of writing that can directly be printed on paper and sent out as greeting cards, and its just unfortunate that I never ever managed to pick it up. Forget pretty, my mindlessly written stuff, is not even neat. Even neat writing requires an effort at my end. The typing on a computer does not help much either, since I completely lose practice with my ability to write well with a pen. All those out there in the world, with a gorgeous, ornamental handwriting, I pay my obeisance to you.(A confession - The oldest lady in my training group, has one of those beautiful print-like handwritings, and I make a conscious effort to not sit next to her, so that I can concentrate on the session, more than stare at her writing and wallow in self-pity!)
I am still hoping that I can get back to more regular blogging, make more time in my day and do it. And hence I am not saying I have given up, even now. But what really happens, only time will tell.
I am in a strange place right now mentally. I don't know if I qualify to be called a working-woman or an SAHM or even a part-time-working-mum. I seem to be somewhere in between all of that. Besides being tremendously self-satisfying, my work does seem to have all the downsides of working, and none of the upsides. I am working, but I don't make money. I spend time away from home, away from family, but gain nothing monetarily in return. Infact I end up spending quite a bit in my travel, eat-outs, day-care charges for the BB and such. Add to that, this work, comes with home-work (I am still training remember? So I have things to read up, assignments and presentations to work on), which means I need to dedicate time to it during the rest of the week. And with the commitment being 1 day a week, during training, and just half-day a week post that....... my slog-like-a-dog = work trained mind, cannot really accept this as work. And so if anyone asks me, I don't think I would say that I work. And hence I am in middle-land, and I really don't know what label will suit me the best. But what makes it all worth it, is the immense sense of self-satisfaction, finally understanding that I am in a field of work that I really like, and would love to pursue for the rest of my life. This is the kind of work that would leave me with a contended tiredness at the end of a hard day's work.
This month we celebrated the GP's birthday..... And I did not even do a post on it. So you can imagine, exactly how hard-pressed I am for time. I am the kind of person, whose writing and thinking is polished with practice, and when I have not posted in a while, my mind is all rusted and has very little to say, amazing thoughts, don't translate into more than just that one-line of the basic thought. And hence there was no post on his birthday. I think the GP being him was the least bit affected by it. Birthdays mean nothing to him, and unfortunately that emotion transcends even to the BB's and my birthdays. But on the up-side, that means there is not much I need to do for his. There was the customary cake, which the man, wanted, plain vanilla, with no icing. He is a all substance, no show man, and well, it shows. His birthday present was the much needed replacement of the laptop the BB destroyed, well let me be honest and say, that I just chipped in a bit of the cost. The BB and I wore new clothes for the day, while the GP himself did no such thing. And that is how the day was spent. Oh! yes, and an absolutely delightful Indian meal at a local restaurant. Loved it! It being the man's birthday, I only feel fortunate and thankful that he is mine, and supports me the way he does, inspires me to improve myself as a person, and guides me so well in that journey. Yes, if anyone needs it to be said plainly, I love him, for being mine.
All those with plain and at most times terrible hand-writings just like myself, was there anyone with that ornamental hand-writing in your school or college whom you completely envied for that. Well I had more than one. One of them is in-fact even a blogger. Her class-notes' notebooks, would be neater and prettier than my fair-copies. Its not just that the writings are cursive, or neat or beautiful, but what I envied most was the naturality with which it was produced. I would look at such peoples' handwriting, be inspired, and try to get there. Well I would atleast turn up my own work up, a few notches, but nothing to match these people, and most importantly, it would mean writing much slower and more consciously. Its been a long long time, since I have seen those gorgeous hand-writings, and I had pretty much forgotten about my own failings in the department, and was contented with my sloppy work. But then, just this weekend, my sweet loving GP, decided to buy me a fountain pen, after all, since I love it so much. He looked up the store online, and took me there. Its heaven for a stationery lover like me. The fact that pretty much everything in the store is more expensive than precious metals and stones, is not to be mentioned of course. But, then I digress. Just as I finalised a pen, and was testing the various nibs available with it, on a writing pad, I saw the words written by someone who had tried out a pen earlier, and I felt ashamed to even scribble on the same piece of paper. It was beautiful, like a work of art, and I stared at the words, 'Electric Dreams', written in beautiful cursive handwriting, in a clean straight line, on a plain piece of paper. I was once again engulfed in the shame of my own horrible hand-writing, like I was back in school-days. Even my best attempts don't compare. And I just wish I could have a beautiful cursive hand-writing. Surprisingly all the women in my family, right from my grandmother, have the kind of writing that can directly be printed on paper and sent out as greeting cards, and its just unfortunate that I never ever managed to pick it up. Forget pretty, my mindlessly written stuff, is not even neat. Even neat writing requires an effort at my end. The typing on a computer does not help much either, since I completely lose practice with my ability to write well with a pen. All those out there in the world, with a gorgeous, ornamental handwriting, I pay my obeisance to you.(A confession - The oldest lady in my training group, has one of those beautiful print-like handwritings, and I make a conscious effort to not sit next to her, so that I can concentrate on the session, more than stare at her writing and wallow in self-pity!)
I am still hoping that I can get back to more regular blogging, make more time in my day and do it. And hence I am not saying I have given up, even now. But what really happens, only time will tell.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Thoughts Of A day
Today is a day that has left me with a lot of thoughts, some pride, and some longing. And I think I will jot it all down under today's day!
Today was projected as a BIG day in my mind since the past couple of weeks. Reason? It is my training Wednesday, and the GP has gladly hopped out of town on business. I was pretty sure I would mess up the day in more ways than one, but fortunately I made myself proud. Wednesdays usually means, the BB is completely in the GP's care. I am out of the house before either one of the male members of this family wake up. So its upto the GP to clean, feed, dress and more, the BB, then drop him off at his day-care place, and since my training happens far away, the GP gets back earlier, and gets to pick up the BB on his way back too. But today I had to do it all, and atleast attempt to reach my training centre in time. For a moment last night, the idea of taking an off today loomed quite lucratively in my mind. Fortunately I did not take it too seriously, and instead, actually managed to get everything in order and get out of the house before 8. Dropped the BB off, did 'my thing' the whole day, got back picked him up, and got back home really late and tiered, but proud that I was able to pull it off, without any hitch. That there, is the bit that gives me the pride.
The longing is for the GP. I am missing him terribly, especially in these long dark winter evenings, which give me nothing to look forward to. Just eagerly waiting for my man to be back soon! The entire day just passes, but the long evenings get really boring without the GP coming home, and changing the pace of things. Thankfully the BB does not get all cranky, I would not know what to do, if he did.
And now for the thoughts, there are loads. Each day at the training I am realising how similair human nature is all around the world, how the feminist issues remain the same, and women are facing similair problems everywhere! Never thought that domestic violence, exploitation, domination, issues common to women across the globe. Its amazing how many wonderful women, are making time to volunteer. Some of their personal stories have shaken me up so much, that I have no idea, if I would have made it out alive, of the kind of situations they have been through. Just gives me, so much to truly admire and get inspired from. In this world, there are people who have pretty much everything, and cannot stop cribbing about how they get the raw end of things, and then I see these amazingly stellar women, who have the true strength to have gone through what they have, and then concretely give back to the world.
I am not sure, that this is politically correct, but I am saying it anyway. Besides me, there is another Indian girl/woman in my training group, and the pain she is taking to avoid me, is really getting irksome now. I find it really disconcerting, when we all pop in a hi - hello to each other, and she makes a conscientious effort to avoid me. At all times she ensures, she never makes eye-contact with me, or is not alone with me somewhere. Its strange because she is actually taking a lot of effort to do all of that. It has been that way from the very first day of training, but I never bothered, but four weeks into it, and now its really getting a bit too obvious to ignore. I just want to send her a brain wave saying, don't worry, I am not dying to be your friend, either! The world can indeed be quite strange at times. Racism???
The rest of the women are all very very warm and friendly, and more than anything it is such a learning opportunity, just being around them. Its wonderful how everyone makes an effort to sit with different people each time, and thus, interact with a different person at each session. Each one has a story to tell, and believe me, everyone of them inspire me with what they do, how much they pack into their weeks, their lives, and many with what they have endured, and yet turn out to be the kind of people they have. Awesome and Inspiring!
Today was projected as a BIG day in my mind since the past couple of weeks. Reason? It is my training Wednesday, and the GP has gladly hopped out of town on business. I was pretty sure I would mess up the day in more ways than one, but fortunately I made myself proud. Wednesdays usually means, the BB is completely in the GP's care. I am out of the house before either one of the male members of this family wake up. So its upto the GP to clean, feed, dress and more, the BB, then drop him off at his day-care place, and since my training happens far away, the GP gets back earlier, and gets to pick up the BB on his way back too. But today I had to do it all, and atleast attempt to reach my training centre in time. For a moment last night, the idea of taking an off today loomed quite lucratively in my mind. Fortunately I did not take it too seriously, and instead, actually managed to get everything in order and get out of the house before 8. Dropped the BB off, did 'my thing' the whole day, got back picked him up, and got back home really late and tiered, but proud that I was able to pull it off, without any hitch. That there, is the bit that gives me the pride.
The longing is for the GP. I am missing him terribly, especially in these long dark winter evenings, which give me nothing to look forward to. Just eagerly waiting for my man to be back soon! The entire day just passes, but the long evenings get really boring without the GP coming home, and changing the pace of things. Thankfully the BB does not get all cranky, I would not know what to do, if he did.
And now for the thoughts, there are loads. Each day at the training I am realising how similair human nature is all around the world, how the feminist issues remain the same, and women are facing similair problems everywhere! Never thought that domestic violence, exploitation, domination, issues common to women across the globe. Its amazing how many wonderful women, are making time to volunteer. Some of their personal stories have shaken me up so much, that I have no idea, if I would have made it out alive, of the kind of situations they have been through. Just gives me, so much to truly admire and get inspired from. In this world, there are people who have pretty much everything, and cannot stop cribbing about how they get the raw end of things, and then I see these amazingly stellar women, who have the true strength to have gone through what they have, and then concretely give back to the world.
I am not sure, that this is politically correct, but I am saying it anyway. Besides me, there is another Indian girl/woman in my training group, and the pain she is taking to avoid me, is really getting irksome now. I find it really disconcerting, when we all pop in a hi - hello to each other, and she makes a conscientious effort to avoid me. At all times she ensures, she never makes eye-contact with me, or is not alone with me somewhere. Its strange because she is actually taking a lot of effort to do all of that. It has been that way from the very first day of training, but I never bothered, but four weeks into it, and now its really getting a bit too obvious to ignore. I just want to send her a brain wave saying, don't worry, I am not dying to be your friend, either! The world can indeed be quite strange at times. Racism???
The rest of the women are all very very warm and friendly, and more than anything it is such a learning opportunity, just being around them. Its wonderful how everyone makes an effort to sit with different people each time, and thus, interact with a different person at each session. Each one has a story to tell, and believe me, everyone of them inspire me with what they do, how much they pack into their weeks, their lives, and many with what they have endured, and yet turn out to be the kind of people they have. Awesome and Inspiring!
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