I probably should write kids or children in the place of babies, in the title, but then I also know that the BB will forever be a baby to me, no matter how old he gets. He is growing like a weed, with each passing day I miss my little baby, who I could cuddly all day long, who had cheeks that were always hanging, because they used to be so heavy. I have a tallish, skinny boy on my hands instead now. And thus the time runs.
I am in great agony and confusion these days, over the BB's toilet training. He is obviously well versed with the way of doing it, on his own whatever, when indoors, but my problem is with times when we go out. Not always do we go to places with toilets at hand, and often when we leave home, we are not sure of how long would we be out. Add to that, the GP's and my paranoia, about taking the BB to a public toilet, and you have a confused puddle of a mother that is me. I find it regressive to put him in a diaper, when he obviously does not need one, and yet not wanting to get him into public toilets, what option am I left with when we are on long outings. I wonder if other mother's have faced the same dilemma, with their little ones, or am I just being stupidly paranoid. I don't understand, what would be the right way of going about things at this point in time. Any pieces of advice, from others who have been there done that, how did you make the transition complete?
Showing posts with label Mothering Joys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mothering Joys. Show all posts
Monday, September 27, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Whet It Izz......?
Insert word of choice, like papa, pepperoni, car, GPS, jacket, slippers... ad infinitum. That is what my day starts with, and it loops through on and on and on. The BBs new found passion to find out where things are.He wakes up in the morning and the first thing he asks me, is 'Whet it is papaaaaa?'(read as where is papa if you may.) The good thing though is, it has not reached the stage of driving me nuts yet, and I just enjoy it, and instigate him every now and then. Its fun, and tons infact. A word I love have him say is dirty. It started off with this filthy paintbrush he found somewhere, and I asked him to keep it away, stating its dirty dirty. And he repeated 'dorty dorty brush' and since then pretty much everything in the house has been announced as 'dorty dorty'.
His talking, is to our ears, what the first drops of rain are to the parched earth, of a drought ridden place. We have waited and waited and waited. Its has been long, and it has been hard. Not just because we wanted to hear him talk, but because of the moments that we doubted our strongest beliefs, and did not know what to think. I have always been a strong believer in the fact that each child has his own developmental curve, and I knew from day one that I did not want to be a competitive mother. And this possibly was the biggest test, of that belief. At three, when the BB was not already talking a dime a dozen, it became worrisome for us. He would utter a few words here, and some there, but there were no constant barrage of talking, or questions. And all around I saw and heard of these cute little things the kids his age were saying, and I waited for him to begin.
Everyone, who knew him in India, would tell me, how he was a late-talker and would drive me nuts when he began, because that is what late talkers usually do, they said, they are like a dam that has burst. And all I could say was that I was eagerly waiting for the day. It was hard to have words like delayed speech mentioned, or being asked, if I had sought professional help, or even having to mention at places, like the day care centre, that he does not really talk yet. It was hard. And then there were times that I almost broke down, and did not know what to do, where I gave in to despair and gloom. Something within me told me, that he was absolutely fine, just taking his own sweet time, and yet sometimes, the fear would grip my heart and leave it cold. The GP and I fortunately alternated in that state, so there was always one to reassure the other, when we fell into a state of despair. But some days were definitely harder than others. Often I would reason things to reassure myself. I knew the reasons, he was not hearing a lot of conversations around him. It was just him and me all day long, and I am not a great conversationalist, when left on my own. We speak two languages at home, and often bilingual children take longer to pick up a language and most importantly the BB's need to talk was very little. He usually has things work out for him, before he needs to ask for it. An advantage of having the mother around all day long, and yet disadvantageous in its own way. I had spoken to his pediatrician in India, about it, and he had not been concerned at all. And he is an amazing doctor, and my biggest concern while leaving India, was not having him around. He was a boon to a paranoid first time mother like me. Besides not believing in bringing up children on supplements and medicines, just like me, he had very practical things to advice, even on the daily care of a baby. And so, he is the one person I could freely discuss my concerns with, without the fear of the existing paranoia of the medical fraternity scaring me. And I had been reassured by his words. I then found a friend, who told me he had not uttered a word till he was all of 5, and even then it took him a while to actually get talking. Today he stands as normal as anyone can be. And these things soothed my mind. And yet there would be occasions when I would read something, or someone would ask a question, regarding his language skills, often innocently, and would make me anxious all over again.
The BB is an amazing child, really. And I think he was tailor made for me, in many many ways. I know I am a biased mother here, but the fact is, that a lot of the problems I hear parents face with their young children, are things I never had to deal with. There were no teething troubles, no weaning hassles, no problem with him being around new people, nor of him getting cranky when someone went away. He is usually a fuss-free child, he has no favourite toys, nor anything that is a security blanket, and he can keep himself happy with very little. No he is not perfect, he does throw tantrums, and gets cranky when sleepy or hungry, and there is a lot, and I mean a real LOT of screaming, for fun happening late evenings. But truth be told, he is an easy child. The only trouble I had, was when there was a phase where he was pushing other kids, and that lasted about all of 2 months. He is smart, and I say that because I have seen the ease with which he uses the laptop, or the GPS, or the i-pod. There is no random punching like kids his age usually do, but more a purposeful using. He knows how to use the microwave, and enjoys being allowed to operate it. He knows his limits and does not try crazy things, that would make me keep him restrained at all times. We never really formally sat down and taught him things but he knows his alphabets, learnt on his own from a wonderful interactive website for kids, called starfall and is learning his numbers now(yes, the microwave.) I would open the starfall site, and cook and clean away to glory, while he stayed busy exploring the various alphabets. Truth be told, he taught the alphabets to himself. And I appreciate every bit of all these things, instead of cribbing about the usual kiddish bouts of stubbornness or slow eating and such things. But the fact that he was still not conversing, did prick me every once in a while. I discussed with a few friends, and I have to say that I was fortunate, that they were so supportive, understanding and reassuring. My worries would melt away after talking to them. And so I continued to wait. In the meanwhile, we shifted gears at home, speaking in only one language, so that its easier for the BB to understand and pick up. And its tough sometimes, when we are so used to speaking in Hinglish pretty much always.
I realised a while back, that being with kids his age at the day care place was really having its effect. Both good and bad. While he was learning to test his limits, with things like pushing other kids, he was also getting more communicative. He was going beyond using his one word expressions of things he needed. And it was just what we had been waiting for. Maybe it was interacting with children his own age, or maybe it was the need to use words to communicate his needs to the people there, or maybe it was time for him to start anyways, I don't know what exactly it was, but something did the trick, or maybe it was a combination of it all. While the GP and I both noticed it happening, neither said a word, for the fear of jinxing it, and so we waited, till one day he came home and began singing a song he had learnt, and though the words were jumbled up, there was the part where he asks, 'What it izz name?' (read - what is your name.) and then goes ' BBeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'! There has been no looking back ever since fortunately. And in a way I felt it was a test of whether, I can actually stand up for my own beliefs in crunch time, and I am happy that inspite of the moments of terrible fear and anxiety, I maintained my position, and did not panic running from door to door, trying to 'fix' my child. It is true that no one knows a child like does the mother.
I am happy in a way that I was tested, and that it has just strengthened my belief in each child having their own developmental curve. As parents, the GP and I are sure, that we will never be competitive, pushy or expect the BB to live his life our way, all we hope for, is that the BB becomes a good, compassionate human being, everything else is secondary in life. We just want him to be happy and nothing more, and may God give us the strength to always live with that conviction, and never fall prey to the competitive ways of the world. I love my child, wholly and totally, no conditions, ever!
That's the BB on his first train ride ever. Just last month, on The Puffing Billy.
Surprisingly enough, he had never been on a train before. And I think he enjoyed his first time. Also did his first boat ride recently, and had great fun doing that too!
His talking, is to our ears, what the first drops of rain are to the parched earth, of a drought ridden place. We have waited and waited and waited. Its has been long, and it has been hard. Not just because we wanted to hear him talk, but because of the moments that we doubted our strongest beliefs, and did not know what to think. I have always been a strong believer in the fact that each child has his own developmental curve, and I knew from day one that I did not want to be a competitive mother. And this possibly was the biggest test, of that belief. At three, when the BB was not already talking a dime a dozen, it became worrisome for us. He would utter a few words here, and some there, but there were no constant barrage of talking, or questions. And all around I saw and heard of these cute little things the kids his age were saying, and I waited for him to begin.
Everyone, who knew him in India, would tell me, how he was a late-talker and would drive me nuts when he began, because that is what late talkers usually do, they said, they are like a dam that has burst. And all I could say was that I was eagerly waiting for the day. It was hard to have words like delayed speech mentioned, or being asked, if I had sought professional help, or even having to mention at places, like the day care centre, that he does not really talk yet. It was hard. And then there were times that I almost broke down, and did not know what to do, where I gave in to despair and gloom. Something within me told me, that he was absolutely fine, just taking his own sweet time, and yet sometimes, the fear would grip my heart and leave it cold. The GP and I fortunately alternated in that state, so there was always one to reassure the other, when we fell into a state of despair. But some days were definitely harder than others. Often I would reason things to reassure myself. I knew the reasons, he was not hearing a lot of conversations around him. It was just him and me all day long, and I am not a great conversationalist, when left on my own. We speak two languages at home, and often bilingual children take longer to pick up a language and most importantly the BB's need to talk was very little. He usually has things work out for him, before he needs to ask for it. An advantage of having the mother around all day long, and yet disadvantageous in its own way. I had spoken to his pediatrician in India, about it, and he had not been concerned at all. And he is an amazing doctor, and my biggest concern while leaving India, was not having him around. He was a boon to a paranoid first time mother like me. Besides not believing in bringing up children on supplements and medicines, just like me, he had very practical things to advice, even on the daily care of a baby. And so, he is the one person I could freely discuss my concerns with, without the fear of the existing paranoia of the medical fraternity scaring me. And I had been reassured by his words. I then found a friend, who told me he had not uttered a word till he was all of 5, and even then it took him a while to actually get talking. Today he stands as normal as anyone can be. And these things soothed my mind. And yet there would be occasions when I would read something, or someone would ask a question, regarding his language skills, often innocently, and would make me anxious all over again.
The BB is an amazing child, really. And I think he was tailor made for me, in many many ways. I know I am a biased mother here, but the fact is, that a lot of the problems I hear parents face with their young children, are things I never had to deal with. There were no teething troubles, no weaning hassles, no problem with him being around new people, nor of him getting cranky when someone went away. He is usually a fuss-free child, he has no favourite toys, nor anything that is a security blanket, and he can keep himself happy with very little. No he is not perfect, he does throw tantrums, and gets cranky when sleepy or hungry, and there is a lot, and I mean a real LOT of screaming, for fun happening late evenings. But truth be told, he is an easy child. The only trouble I had, was when there was a phase where he was pushing other kids, and that lasted about all of 2 months. He is smart, and I say that because I have seen the ease with which he uses the laptop, or the GPS, or the i-pod. There is no random punching like kids his age usually do, but more a purposeful using. He knows how to use the microwave, and enjoys being allowed to operate it. He knows his limits and does not try crazy things, that would make me keep him restrained at all times. We never really formally sat down and taught him things but he knows his alphabets, learnt on his own from a wonderful interactive website for kids, called starfall and is learning his numbers now(yes, the microwave.) I would open the starfall site, and cook and clean away to glory, while he stayed busy exploring the various alphabets. Truth be told, he taught the alphabets to himself. And I appreciate every bit of all these things, instead of cribbing about the usual kiddish bouts of stubbornness or slow eating and such things. But the fact that he was still not conversing, did prick me every once in a while. I discussed with a few friends, and I have to say that I was fortunate, that they were so supportive, understanding and reassuring. My worries would melt away after talking to them. And so I continued to wait. In the meanwhile, we shifted gears at home, speaking in only one language, so that its easier for the BB to understand and pick up. And its tough sometimes, when we are so used to speaking in Hinglish pretty much always.
I realised a while back, that being with kids his age at the day care place was really having its effect. Both good and bad. While he was learning to test his limits, with things like pushing other kids, he was also getting more communicative. He was going beyond using his one word expressions of things he needed. And it was just what we had been waiting for. Maybe it was interacting with children his own age, or maybe it was the need to use words to communicate his needs to the people there, or maybe it was time for him to start anyways, I don't know what exactly it was, but something did the trick, or maybe it was a combination of it all. While the GP and I both noticed it happening, neither said a word, for the fear of jinxing it, and so we waited, till one day he came home and began singing a song he had learnt, and though the words were jumbled up, there was the part where he asks, 'What it izz name?' (read - what is your name.) and then goes ' BBeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'! There has been no looking back ever since fortunately. And in a way I felt it was a test of whether, I can actually stand up for my own beliefs in crunch time, and I am happy that inspite of the moments of terrible fear and anxiety, I maintained my position, and did not panic running from door to door, trying to 'fix' my child. It is true that no one knows a child like does the mother.
I am happy in a way that I was tested, and that it has just strengthened my belief in each child having their own developmental curve. As parents, the GP and I are sure, that we will never be competitive, pushy or expect the BB to live his life our way, all we hope for, is that the BB becomes a good, compassionate human being, everything else is secondary in life. We just want him to be happy and nothing more, and may God give us the strength to always live with that conviction, and never fall prey to the competitive ways of the world. I love my child, wholly and totally, no conditions, ever!
That's the BB on his first train ride ever. Just last month, on The Puffing Billy.
Surprisingly enough, he had never been on a train before. And I think he enjoyed his first time. Also did his first boat ride recently, and had great fun doing that too!
Monday, May 10, 2010
And What Was Yesterday?
Going by the staple idea of an ideal mother, in the Western society, I kind of made the cut this Mother's day, by baking a batch of choco-chip cookies for the sonny. Fresh out of the oven, the whole wheat variety, to be had with a glass of milk. This was my first ever attempt at baking cookies, and the first batch burnt up, because I thought I had to let them be in, till they harden up, fortunately the second batch behaved better. The recipe comes off one of the rather accomplished bakers of the blog-world, Monika, and I completely loved this rather healthy cookie recipe she put up. And no doubt, it was super duper yummy too, to boot.
Like them?
And that is the little creature who makes me a mother. The piece of my heart, growing outside of me.
Like them?Mother's Day, a well peddled, advertising gimmick, to celebrate one's mother, that is the way I look at it. Why? Because my child had better celebrate having me for a mother, every single day, atleast till he gets on with life on his own. At the least I can live under the illusion that he does. And inspite of thinking of the day as an advertising gimmick, I always welcome gifts, and so i greedily lapped up the many baking dishes that came in as my gift of the day!
The fact is being a mother, is all about having a part of your heart growing outside of your body. That is literally how I have come to feel, in the few years that I have been a mother. For a bit we take our hearts for granted, it will beat, pump the blood in my body, and so on. As a mother I take my child for granted at times, just like that. And a slight little pain in the heart and our anxiety levels shoot up, sky high, the child is a little unwell, and we react the same. And yes, a little trouble with either, a heartburn in our heart or a big, sad puppy face on our child, the guilt trips they can take us on, are rather enormous. We walk, exercise, eat well to keep our heart healthy. We mind our language, behave well and generally try to be good role models for our children. How different are they really then from our hearts, besides the fact that they grow outside our bodies, and as they keep growing, they also spend a lot of time being physically farther and farther apart from us. At many many times, being a mother is equivalent to being on one of those horror rides of amusement parks, because you never know what to expect next, and the scares can be big. And yet, just like the heart, a child fills us with love, softness, tenderness and kindness, like nothing else ever can.
Being a mother is so far, no mean task for me, for most importantly I still just cannot let go. I will get there I know, someday, someway, maybe because I simply have to, but not just right now. It has brought me on my knees, broken me down, scared me to my bones, made me grow guilt the size of an elephant, it has taken a toll on my body and health, has made me perpetually teary eyed and yet it has made me more loving, giving, kinder, softer, gentler, and filled me with joys like nothing else I have ever known before. It is not easy, being a mother, really it is not, and I will not mask it with words like, but the smile makes it all worth it, because really when you have not had a decent night's sleep in months, and your baby decides midnight is the right time to exercise his lungs by crying out loud, and refusing to keep quiet unless held by you, for hours at a stretch, the smile does not quite cut it, at that moment. And yet,in ways that I did not quite realise, motherhood caught me unaware, and converted me into a creature, which is a mix of a doe, in constant fear, because a piece of her heart is outside her body(remember???), a tigress who can kill to protect her cubs and an ewe, who lovingly nurtures her lambs. Am I happy with that? Well honestly, and cross my heart, I am. I do miss the times, when my entire heart was in my body, and did not need feeding, cleaning, teaching, disciplining, being put to sleep and a million more things, because those were carefree days, but I think I am too deep into motherhood now, to ever be able to go back to that. I am in 24X7 job.
And knowing what it is, let me raise a toast to every mother out there in the world, man or animal, biological or adopted, female or male, because it is not easy being you. And each one of you, in your own special way, love and cherish your child like only you could, and make the world a better place being the loving tender shade of care for your child. Happy Mother's Day!
The fact is being a mother, is all about having a part of your heart growing outside of your body. That is literally how I have come to feel, in the few years that I have been a mother. For a bit we take our hearts for granted, it will beat, pump the blood in my body, and so on. As a mother I take my child for granted at times, just like that. And a slight little pain in the heart and our anxiety levels shoot up, sky high, the child is a little unwell, and we react the same. And yes, a little trouble with either, a heartburn in our heart or a big, sad puppy face on our child, the guilt trips they can take us on, are rather enormous. We walk, exercise, eat well to keep our heart healthy. We mind our language, behave well and generally try to be good role models for our children. How different are they really then from our hearts, besides the fact that they grow outside our bodies, and as they keep growing, they also spend a lot of time being physically farther and farther apart from us. At many many times, being a mother is equivalent to being on one of those horror rides of amusement parks, because you never know what to expect next, and the scares can be big. And yet, just like the heart, a child fills us with love, softness, tenderness and kindness, like nothing else ever can.
Being a mother is so far, no mean task for me, for most importantly I still just cannot let go. I will get there I know, someday, someway, maybe because I simply have to, but not just right now. It has brought me on my knees, broken me down, scared me to my bones, made me grow guilt the size of an elephant, it has taken a toll on my body and health, has made me perpetually teary eyed and yet it has made me more loving, giving, kinder, softer, gentler, and filled me with joys like nothing else I have ever known before. It is not easy, being a mother, really it is not, and I will not mask it with words like, but the smile makes it all worth it, because really when you have not had a decent night's sleep in months, and your baby decides midnight is the right time to exercise his lungs by crying out loud, and refusing to keep quiet unless held by you, for hours at a stretch, the smile does not quite cut it, at that moment. And yet,in ways that I did not quite realise, motherhood caught me unaware, and converted me into a creature, which is a mix of a doe, in constant fear, because a piece of her heart is outside her body(remember???), a tigress who can kill to protect her cubs and an ewe, who lovingly nurtures her lambs. Am I happy with that? Well honestly, and cross my heart, I am. I do miss the times, when my entire heart was in my body, and did not need feeding, cleaning, teaching, disciplining, being put to sleep and a million more things, because those were carefree days, but I think I am too deep into motherhood now, to ever be able to go back to that. I am in 24X7 job.
And knowing what it is, let me raise a toast to every mother out there in the world, man or animal, biological or adopted, female or male, because it is not easy being you. And each one of you, in your own special way, love and cherish your child like only you could, and make the world a better place being the loving tender shade of care for your child. Happy Mother's Day!
And that is the little creature who makes me a mother. The piece of my heart, growing outside of me.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Doing Something Right
Yesterday, I wanted to go to attend a meeting/seminar in the city, and so decided to drop the BB off at the care centre in the morning, instead of his usual post-lunch timing. With the passing days, he has just become more comfortable going there, and yesterday for once he did not cling to me, even when I said bye and gave him a kiss. I turned to leave, and headed for the door, while the carer, told all the kids to put on their hats, and get ready to go out into the play area. The BB's room had a door opening to the play area at one end, and towards the exit at the other. Like all the other kids, the BB absolutely loves being in the outdoor play area, which has the bikes, the sand pit and more. And hence I was sure, he would run to the door, just like all the other kids had, and were huddling around waiting for the door to open. Instead he turned and began his journey towards the exit door, and I worried, he was going to be clingy for a bit. What did I know?
There was this one little boy, who could not find his hat. he was holding his bag with one hand and groping in it with the other, to find his hat. The BB, just came upto him, and started pulling him. He had no idea, what the other kid was doing, and the other kid did not really get why the BB was pulling him either. But I knew, the moment I saw it happen. The BB would not leave this one behind and head out to the play area, he thought that the other kid possibly did not know, and came to take him along. He does it at home too, he refuses to step out, till both the GP and I, or more people if present, are all ready to go out, and this no matter how much he himself wants to be out. I lingered at the door for a bit, to see what happens. The boy would pull away his hand, and get back to digging into his bag, and the BB would keep tugging at his arm, to take him along. And it lasted for the good two minutes, till I left, and possibly even after. My BB was ready for forgo his play area fun to ensure that the other child did not get left behind. What a moment of pure motherly pride it was for me.
I cannot express in words, the joy and peace I felt. And for once I realised, that in my mind, my own accomplishments, and deeds pale so miserably, in comparison to the littlest nice things the BB does. I do not need my son to be an academic genius, or a rich business tycoon, the only thing I want him to be, or rather hope he turns out to be, is a good human being, and nothing more, possibly also the one thing that is completely for him to develop into. And if I can see small bursts of that happening, the sheer joy I experience is boundless and more immense than anything I have ever felt before. I called up everyone I could, to share the tale, and told all his grandparents too, and their gloating and glee was way more than my own. I went about the rest of my day with the widest grin on my face, and knew that somewhere, I was doing something right in bringing up my son! Love you my little darling.
There was this one little boy, who could not find his hat. he was holding his bag with one hand and groping in it with the other, to find his hat. The BB, just came upto him, and started pulling him. He had no idea, what the other kid was doing, and the other kid did not really get why the BB was pulling him either. But I knew, the moment I saw it happen. The BB would not leave this one behind and head out to the play area, he thought that the other kid possibly did not know, and came to take him along. He does it at home too, he refuses to step out, till both the GP and I, or more people if present, are all ready to go out, and this no matter how much he himself wants to be out. I lingered at the door for a bit, to see what happens. The boy would pull away his hand, and get back to digging into his bag, and the BB would keep tugging at his arm, to take him along. And it lasted for the good two minutes, till I left, and possibly even after. My BB was ready for forgo his play area fun to ensure that the other child did not get left behind. What a moment of pure motherly pride it was for me.
I cannot express in words, the joy and peace I felt. And for once I realised, that in my mind, my own accomplishments, and deeds pale so miserably, in comparison to the littlest nice things the BB does. I do not need my son to be an academic genius, or a rich business tycoon, the only thing I want him to be, or rather hope he turns out to be, is a good human being, and nothing more, possibly also the one thing that is completely for him to develop into. And if I can see small bursts of that happening, the sheer joy I experience is boundless and more immense than anything I have ever felt before. I called up everyone I could, to share the tale, and told all his grandparents too, and their gloating and glee was way more than my own. I went about the rest of my day with the widest grin on my face, and knew that somewhere, I was doing something right in bringing up my son! Love you my little darling.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Of Parenting
When, if ever, is the right age for parents to leave their child in the care of others, is a question that keeps coming to me often these days, since we started sending the BB to the care centre. I have a million doubts about, whether I am doing the right thing or not? The GP is much more determined on this front, and is sure that we need to let him be, for him to grow and learn. I do agree about the growing and learning bit, but, I still am not sure.
Anyone who has been reading me, is sure to know that I am quite a paranoid mother. I work hard at keeping it in check, but sometimes it gets to me. After we shifted to this place, the BB has finally had the opportunity to spend time regularly with kids of his age, at the playgroup, the care centre, the park. And I am very happy about it, what concerns me though, are the things he ends up learning at times. The BB has, so far never been an aggressive or violent child. No, he is no angel, and can quite scream and cry his heart out when things don't go his way, and be a complete brat when it so pleases him, but he is not aggressive in his attitude or behaviour with other kids. Correction, was not. Overnight, it seems, he has learnt to push, shove and horror of horrors, grab the throat. I have seen the kids at the centre, push and hit each other, playfully, when I go to drop the BB there, and I was a little concerned about it, but to see him pick it up so soon, I really don't know what to do. It is quite mortifying as a parent, to know, that a child, we think we are bringing up well, go and push or shove another child. And yet, I realise after a lot of thinking, that it is all a part of his learning curve, possibly, time for his first lesson in selective learning, from what he sees around him.
He needs to spend time with children his age, to facilitate a normal social development, and when I let that happen, I cannot control what he learns from there. And we cannot hand pick the kids he spends his time with, just as we cannot hand pick the people we work, go to school or move around with. The important thing is know what to learn and what to leave out from what we see all around ourselves. Brings me back to my original thinking, that we can only impart, or rather try to impart the right values and principles to our children, and hope they use it well, because they will eventually leave the nest someday. But isn't three a age too young to impart values, and expect them to stick to them all the time. And hence I wonder, what in fact is the right age to let a child, infact go solo. Had we been in India, I would not have a choice but to send him to school/pre-school by now. And it would not necessarily be a place of my choice! Coming back to learning things that are not-so-good, I am again divided on what to teach him here. I have started consistently repeating that he needs to be nice to his friends, not hurt them, share his things and such, but what also worries me is, that what should he do, if it is being done to him? I have had doubts about this earlier and still do. Possibly teaching him, never to be the first one to do it, or do it to kids who are not bothering him are the first step, but I wonder how often would a child remember what his mother told him at home, when he is out there with other kids playing. I do understand it is a part of growing up, possibly the first instance in his life, where he will learn the importance of selecting what he absorbs. And yet, he seems to be too young for it all.
Over the past few years, I have come to realise parenting is the biggest test in self-doubt. We end up second guessing ourselves at every step. Was this the right way to go or not, should I be doing things this way or another and the list is endless. At the end of the day, what really matters is that we try our best to impart the right values, or in the least, help the child develop his own value system. And I guess every trying step now, is just a way of reaching that ultimate goal. And there is no doubt that he is also learning nice things being with other kids, and that can never be discounted, just because of a few things learnt, which we don't quite like.
The BB is still at an age, where I can hug and hold him, and soothe away all his troubles. I cannot even express in words, the immense satisfaction it gives me, as a parent, but I also wonder about the times, when this will not be enough. I love being able to make his crying stop, the pain go away, the anger melt, by holding him close. And yet I already see things starting to change, where just a mumma-hug is no longer enough. How hard would it be to see my own child in pain and not being able to make it go away with just a cuddle, and some soft words in a few years from now? I just don't ever ever want to let go of this little mumma-magic I possess, that is so effective till now. And I know it will kill a little bit of me, when it stops working or when it stops being enough!
Anyone who has been reading me, is sure to know that I am quite a paranoid mother. I work hard at keeping it in check, but sometimes it gets to me. After we shifted to this place, the BB has finally had the opportunity to spend time regularly with kids of his age, at the playgroup, the care centre, the park. And I am very happy about it, what concerns me though, are the things he ends up learning at times. The BB has, so far never been an aggressive or violent child. No, he is no angel, and can quite scream and cry his heart out when things don't go his way, and be a complete brat when it so pleases him, but he is not aggressive in his attitude or behaviour with other kids. Correction, was not. Overnight, it seems, he has learnt to push, shove and horror of horrors, grab the throat. I have seen the kids at the centre, push and hit each other, playfully, when I go to drop the BB there, and I was a little concerned about it, but to see him pick it up so soon, I really don't know what to do. It is quite mortifying as a parent, to know, that a child, we think we are bringing up well, go and push or shove another child. And yet, I realise after a lot of thinking, that it is all a part of his learning curve, possibly, time for his first lesson in selective learning, from what he sees around him.
He needs to spend time with children his age, to facilitate a normal social development, and when I let that happen, I cannot control what he learns from there. And we cannot hand pick the kids he spends his time with, just as we cannot hand pick the people we work, go to school or move around with. The important thing is know what to learn and what to leave out from what we see all around ourselves. Brings me back to my original thinking, that we can only impart, or rather try to impart the right values and principles to our children, and hope they use it well, because they will eventually leave the nest someday. But isn't three a age too young to impart values, and expect them to stick to them all the time. And hence I wonder, what in fact is the right age to let a child, infact go solo. Had we been in India, I would not have a choice but to send him to school/pre-school by now. And it would not necessarily be a place of my choice! Coming back to learning things that are not-so-good, I am again divided on what to teach him here. I have started consistently repeating that he needs to be nice to his friends, not hurt them, share his things and such, but what also worries me is, that what should he do, if it is being done to him? I have had doubts about this earlier and still do. Possibly teaching him, never to be the first one to do it, or do it to kids who are not bothering him are the first step, but I wonder how often would a child remember what his mother told him at home, when he is out there with other kids playing. I do understand it is a part of growing up, possibly the first instance in his life, where he will learn the importance of selecting what he absorbs. And yet, he seems to be too young for it all.
Over the past few years, I have come to realise parenting is the biggest test in self-doubt. We end up second guessing ourselves at every step. Was this the right way to go or not, should I be doing things this way or another and the list is endless. At the end of the day, what really matters is that we try our best to impart the right values, or in the least, help the child develop his own value system. And I guess every trying step now, is just a way of reaching that ultimate goal. And there is no doubt that he is also learning nice things being with other kids, and that can never be discounted, just because of a few things learnt, which we don't quite like.
The BB is still at an age, where I can hug and hold him, and soothe away all his troubles. I cannot even express in words, the immense satisfaction it gives me, as a parent, but I also wonder about the times, when this will not be enough. I love being able to make his crying stop, the pain go away, the anger melt, by holding him close. And yet I already see things starting to change, where just a mumma-hug is no longer enough. How hard would it be to see my own child in pain and not being able to make it go away with just a cuddle, and some soft words in a few years from now? I just don't ever ever want to let go of this little mumma-magic I possess, that is so effective till now. And I know it will kill a little bit of me, when it stops working or when it stops being enough!
Friday, February 26, 2010
The Parents Club Privileges
I think motherhood/parenthood, with all its added responsibilities and toughness, brings with it some perks, that can be had no other way. Here are some of the benefits I thoroughly enjoy.
Getting the spouse to stop doing something, I have always wanted to, but never could. Now the BB is my excuse, to make him not do it, like road rage induced swearing.
I have an excuse to get out of any engagement I don't wish to commit to, or not make it to, without hurting the feelings of the others involved. And its always a better way than the fake headache excuse.
I can sit on the kiddy swing in the park, without looking like a loony. I am with my son after all.
Guilt-free shopping. Oh! The joy of it. Buying things for the child is always free of guilt, no matter how luxuriant or expensive the object. After all its the simple parenting emotion that retailers exploit to the best of their abilities, marking up prices for anything baby-related, nothing but the best for my baby.
Motherhood is a super duper excuse for all the excess flab around the waist, no matter how many years into motherhood I am, and of course it does not matter, that I have had it long long before I even contemplated motherhood. I love that men/ fathers don't get this one.
Perfect excuse to blackmail the parents and in-laws. One mention of the precious little grandchild, and they are ready to forgive bloody murder.
Perfect reason to avoid people, I never liked, but had no official reason to keep away from. Now, its a simple bad influence for my baby logic, that is stronger than any other reason.
Aah! And if anyone catches you in bed late in the morning, always play the 'he was up till so late last night' card, and no one can have a negative opinion.
On a more serious note though, it is a great catalyst to trying to become a better person, when you know someone is using you as a complete role model for everything. And one had better start minding their language, when they realise the first vocal expression the child has picked up, is, 'Oh! Shit.'
All the other parents out there, tell me, what do you think are the great perks of being parents, you enjoy. And those who aren't parents, tell me, do you envy any of these benefits or do you hate the parents using these?
Getting the spouse to stop doing something, I have always wanted to, but never could. Now the BB is my excuse, to make him not do it, like road rage induced swearing.
I have an excuse to get out of any engagement I don't wish to commit to, or not make it to, without hurting the feelings of the others involved. And its always a better way than the fake headache excuse.
I can sit on the kiddy swing in the park, without looking like a loony. I am with my son after all.
Guilt-free shopping. Oh! The joy of it. Buying things for the child is always free of guilt, no matter how luxuriant or expensive the object. After all its the simple parenting emotion that retailers exploit to the best of their abilities, marking up prices for anything baby-related, nothing but the best for my baby.
Motherhood is a super duper excuse for all the excess flab around the waist, no matter how many years into motherhood I am, and of course it does not matter, that I have had it long long before I even contemplated motherhood. I love that men/ fathers don't get this one.
Perfect excuse to blackmail the parents and in-laws. One mention of the precious little grandchild, and they are ready to forgive bloody murder.
Perfect reason to avoid people, I never liked, but had no official reason to keep away from. Now, its a simple bad influence for my baby logic, that is stronger than any other reason.
Aah! And if anyone catches you in bed late in the morning, always play the 'he was up till so late last night' card, and no one can have a negative opinion.
On a more serious note though, it is a great catalyst to trying to become a better person, when you know someone is using you as a complete role model for everything. And one had better start minding their language, when they realise the first vocal expression the child has picked up, is, 'Oh! Shit.'
All the other parents out there, tell me, what do you think are the great perks of being parents, you enjoy. And those who aren't parents, tell me, do you envy any of these benefits or do you hate the parents using these?
Monday, February 15, 2010
A Mothering Challenge, Conquered.
It has been a while since I posted exclusively about the BB, or anything about being a mother. It has been a long tough while. For starters, I have not had a cushioned mothering experience. From the day the BB came into being, its been him and me, and my instincts. There has been no family or battery of helping hands to do things for me. While it may look like a severe disadvantage to many, I liked having it that way, because I wanted to do things my way with my baby. Every time, I faced a problem, I devoured the baby-care books, scanned everything I could find online, ask around me few friends who had had babies, and whom I could trust and go on about doing things. It was not simple, but it was my way. A nanny or help was never an option for me, so it has been a non-stop constant mommy-time for me since the day BB was born.
Initially I was all enamoured and engrossed with the work at hand, and was too happy to care otherwise, but as time passed, even without me consciously realising it, a kind of complacence and mental fatigue started to set in. From being a tiny bundle, who did not understand much, the BB was growing up into a thinking, observant person, but I did not understand the transition well. I had become highly self absorbed, is the way I see it now. Having moved to a new place, with no friends or acquaintances around, I was just too depressed to be able to do anything proactively. Somewhere during that period of adjusting to the new place, missing my old life, and just wanting to get out of the house, I stopped being a mentally alert mother. And from there on, it was just going through the motions.
I realised at one point that I was not doing anything proactively. I was busy with running the house, blogging, reading. There was no special time of the day allocated to do BB stuff, except for his meals. And with each passing day, it seemed more and more improbable, that I would find time exclusively for him. Whatever free time I could manage, I jumped onto the laptop and devoured the Internet. The BB has for whatever reasons, turned out to be quite a self sufficient boy, he can keep himself busy through the day, he does not need people to be happy and most importantly, he is not too clingy. Served my selfish pursuits just perfectly, and life went on. I think pretty much every point in time I actively, meaningfully spoke to him, it was to tell him not to do XYZ, or leave ABC alone and stuff. I would take him out for walks to the park, and though it was an activity, it was hollow, because I was not mentally active about it. I was at home, but not with him. It had been over three years since I had stopped working, and I started missing that life, and knew the only reason I was not going out there, was, the BB. A certain amount of frustration started creeping in, and it showed in ever aspect of my life, especially my mothering. I was not liking the way things were heading. This was not the kind of mother I wanted to be, nor the kind of relationship I had ever envisioned having with my child. And I had reached a stage, where I just did not know what to do.
My mind was overwhelmed, with guilt and a huge amount of anger directed at myself, I felt lost and completely worthless. Many people, may disagree with me, because I am at the end of the day physically with the BB all 24 hours of the day, I still feed him, dress him up, and do the small little things mothers do, but I will be dishonest to myself, if I claimed that was enough. And strangely enough, the only person I shared my emotions with, is a friend, who is not even a mother yet. She is someone who invites confidence. Her maturity beyond her years, was the reason, I was sure of not being judged or misunderstood. I poured my heart out, and she heard me, and soothed me with her kind words. I cannot express in words here, what it meant to just be able to share it with someone, without the fear of reproach. And then it was she who said, something which was just so simple, and so basic, and yet needed to be said to me, for me to realise the importance of it. 'Include him.' Yes, just include him in what I do, instead of waiting to get over with doing my stuff, before being with him. Include him in my daily activities, get him to join me, and do things alongside.
If I may say it, it has been a life altering advice in my life as a mother. It was just such a simple thing to do, and what a fool I had been to have not done it before. I haven't and I cannot thank you enough with words Tara, really I can't. You have no idea, what those simple, powerful words you said, meant to me. I could feel the change in dynamics, as soon as I started. I felt so happy and content myself, and the BB was so so excited to be a part of everything I am doing. On the apparent, its possibly no change, but from within I know what is a very small change on the outside is a huge one from within. And if for nothing else, the effects have been miraculous for my peace of mind.
A few plans I had, all for myself, did not quite work out, fell flat on their face to be precise and that left me a bit for upset. I had counted on a lot of things to happen in this new land, but they did not work out as I had planned. What looked like the perfect opportunity, turned out to be an impossible dream at a point when it was all almost finalised. It would be understating it to say, I was highly disappointed. But I have also realised that there is either the option of sitting and crying over spilled milk, or moving on and making the best of what life has to offer to me right now. I have to accept the cards I am dealt with and make the best of it. And hence I am all done and over with the sadness, the dejection and instead want to proactively find fun and exciting things to do, within my grasp at this very moment, I am sure the future will bring something wonderful in its wake.
Its been over four years now, since I was working for pay, been moving all over the world the past few years, my social interactions have been drastically reduced. The Internet has in fact become my primary source to interact with other adults, and that is not an easy life for someone like me, who loves being with and around people. I was ruing over the life I had left behind, and one that I can never have again. And then the chat with Tara happened, and I realised, what was the point in crying over something I cannot just change. I am not ready to leave the BB in full time day care and actively go out to study/work or anything at all at this point in time. There is no one besides me at home to take care of him, so basically that means, I cannot do my own thing this very minute. Lamenting over that was only making me waste what I had with me, instead of thinking of a way to put it to better use. And so I just decided to let that regret go, and do something constructive with the existing time instead.
It is surprising how the world works. Pretty much as soon I changed my mindset, and my way of working things, things started falling in place. Having just reached this place, I had missed out on the kindergarten forms for this session. The option I had in hand, was sending him instead to a private day care centre, a few days a week, as a kind of kinder. We visited the centre, brought home the forms, and were about to submit it, when Smitha suggested playgroup. I looked up, and there was one close by, unfortunately that had shut shop. Tried the next and there they were, with just the last seat available. It is just perfect, because it requires the parent to remain with the child through the session and interactively participate in activities with the whole group. I was getting paranoid about leaving my baby alone with people, he didn't know, just yet. This would be the perfect way to get him used to being with others, so that I can actually leave him in the care of others, in the future. It just couldn't have worked out better for me.
So here we are, the first playgroup session for the BB is today, and I am hoping it turns out to be a lot of fun, something the BB starts looking forward to. To my sweet little angel, who has suddenly become big enough to attend play group. I am so awed, and proud of you my child. Here is wishing you luck and joy in every new endeavor you take up in life. Who knows what wonders the future holds for you, my little prince.
PS - Cake baked, to celebrate the day!
Initially I was all enamoured and engrossed with the work at hand, and was too happy to care otherwise, but as time passed, even without me consciously realising it, a kind of complacence and mental fatigue started to set in. From being a tiny bundle, who did not understand much, the BB was growing up into a thinking, observant person, but I did not understand the transition well. I had become highly self absorbed, is the way I see it now. Having moved to a new place, with no friends or acquaintances around, I was just too depressed to be able to do anything proactively. Somewhere during that period of adjusting to the new place, missing my old life, and just wanting to get out of the house, I stopped being a mentally alert mother. And from there on, it was just going through the motions.
I realised at one point that I was not doing anything proactively. I was busy with running the house, blogging, reading. There was no special time of the day allocated to do BB stuff, except for his meals. And with each passing day, it seemed more and more improbable, that I would find time exclusively for him. Whatever free time I could manage, I jumped onto the laptop and devoured the Internet. The BB has for whatever reasons, turned out to be quite a self sufficient boy, he can keep himself busy through the day, he does not need people to be happy and most importantly, he is not too clingy. Served my selfish pursuits just perfectly, and life went on. I think pretty much every point in time I actively, meaningfully spoke to him, it was to tell him not to do XYZ, or leave ABC alone and stuff. I would take him out for walks to the park, and though it was an activity, it was hollow, because I was not mentally active about it. I was at home, but not with him. It had been over three years since I had stopped working, and I started missing that life, and knew the only reason I was not going out there, was, the BB. A certain amount of frustration started creeping in, and it showed in ever aspect of my life, especially my mothering. I was not liking the way things were heading. This was not the kind of mother I wanted to be, nor the kind of relationship I had ever envisioned having with my child. And I had reached a stage, where I just did not know what to do.
My mind was overwhelmed, with guilt and a huge amount of anger directed at myself, I felt lost and completely worthless. Many people, may disagree with me, because I am at the end of the day physically with the BB all 24 hours of the day, I still feed him, dress him up, and do the small little things mothers do, but I will be dishonest to myself, if I claimed that was enough. And strangely enough, the only person I shared my emotions with, is a friend, who is not even a mother yet. She is someone who invites confidence. Her maturity beyond her years, was the reason, I was sure of not being judged or misunderstood. I poured my heart out, and she heard me, and soothed me with her kind words. I cannot express in words here, what it meant to just be able to share it with someone, without the fear of reproach. And then it was she who said, something which was just so simple, and so basic, and yet needed to be said to me, for me to realise the importance of it. 'Include him.' Yes, just include him in what I do, instead of waiting to get over with doing my stuff, before being with him. Include him in my daily activities, get him to join me, and do things alongside.
If I may say it, it has been a life altering advice in my life as a mother. It was just such a simple thing to do, and what a fool I had been to have not done it before. I haven't and I cannot thank you enough with words Tara, really I can't. You have no idea, what those simple, powerful words you said, meant to me. I could feel the change in dynamics, as soon as I started. I felt so happy and content myself, and the BB was so so excited to be a part of everything I am doing. On the apparent, its possibly no change, but from within I know what is a very small change on the outside is a huge one from within. And if for nothing else, the effects have been miraculous for my peace of mind.
A few plans I had, all for myself, did not quite work out, fell flat on their face to be precise and that left me a bit for upset. I had counted on a lot of things to happen in this new land, but they did not work out as I had planned. What looked like the perfect opportunity, turned out to be an impossible dream at a point when it was all almost finalised. It would be understating it to say, I was highly disappointed. But I have also realised that there is either the option of sitting and crying over spilled milk, or moving on and making the best of what life has to offer to me right now. I have to accept the cards I am dealt with and make the best of it. And hence I am all done and over with the sadness, the dejection and instead want to proactively find fun and exciting things to do, within my grasp at this very moment, I am sure the future will bring something wonderful in its wake.
Its been over four years now, since I was working for pay, been moving all over the world the past few years, my social interactions have been drastically reduced. The Internet has in fact become my primary source to interact with other adults, and that is not an easy life for someone like me, who loves being with and around people. I was ruing over the life I had left behind, and one that I can never have again. And then the chat with Tara happened, and I realised, what was the point in crying over something I cannot just change. I am not ready to leave the BB in full time day care and actively go out to study/work or anything at all at this point in time. There is no one besides me at home to take care of him, so basically that means, I cannot do my own thing this very minute. Lamenting over that was only making me waste what I had with me, instead of thinking of a way to put it to better use. And so I just decided to let that regret go, and do something constructive with the existing time instead.
It is surprising how the world works. Pretty much as soon I changed my mindset, and my way of working things, things started falling in place. Having just reached this place, I had missed out on the kindergarten forms for this session. The option I had in hand, was sending him instead to a private day care centre, a few days a week, as a kind of kinder. We visited the centre, brought home the forms, and were about to submit it, when Smitha suggested playgroup. I looked up, and there was one close by, unfortunately that had shut shop. Tried the next and there they were, with just the last seat available. It is just perfect, because it requires the parent to remain with the child through the session and interactively participate in activities with the whole group. I was getting paranoid about leaving my baby alone with people, he didn't know, just yet. This would be the perfect way to get him used to being with others, so that I can actually leave him in the care of others, in the future. It just couldn't have worked out better for me.
So here we are, the first playgroup session for the BB is today, and I am hoping it turns out to be a lot of fun, something the BB starts looking forward to. To my sweet little angel, who has suddenly become big enough to attend play group. I am so awed, and proud of you my child. Here is wishing you luck and joy in every new endeavor you take up in life. Who knows what wonders the future holds for you, my little prince.
PS - Cake baked, to celebrate the day!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Happy Happy New New - A Celebration, At Last!
When the BB was born, I knew that for the rest of my life, new years would be associated with my son's birthday. Born just a couple of days after the New Year came in, his birthday celebrations happen along with the Christmas-New Year festivities. All my past regrets were finally put at rest, because we did in fact had something like-a-party to celebrate the day this time. Considering the fact, that it was just about a fortnight, since I came to this entirely new place, I am happy that atleast something could be done.
We invited three families, one of whom, we met for the first time in our lives and fell quite in love with, Trishna's. It was rather sweet of everyone to come in. The party actually happened on the eve of the BB's birthday, since I did not want to spend his birthday all busy with the dinner preparations. A set of friends, trooped in earlier, and helped with the decorations and preparations. Below is a photo of what the living room looked like, just after being decorated.
And next, is one of a gorgeous cap, that was gifted to the BB, which was just ideal for the day, since it is shaped like a birthday cake, with exactly three candles on it. I think it is absolutely adorable, so just wanted everyone to peek at it.
My job for the day was to prepare the dinner. And never in my life have I cooked for eight adults and three kids. I have a great habit of choking up, while cooking, and invariably mess up the food, when having guests over. I neither had great cutlery, nor my regular resources and so the task just got more daunting. The cake was ordered from a shop ofcourse, I have no idea about cake icings, and I had not even tested the oven here till then. Chips and dips were all that was kept on the ready for starters. A friend made some yummy pineapple raita, and fortunately, the rest of the food, that I prepared, turned out quite nicely, nothing was burnt, had extra or less salt, and that for me is good enough reason to celebrate. There were seven dishes including the raita, and I am super-duper happy that I could pull it off. A completely Indian meal, and decently edible. Unfortunately, I was all rushed, and have never hosted a party at home, so I don't claim to have been half as decent a host as I would have liked to be, but I loved the guests, who were gracious enough not to mind that, and just go about the whole thing happily.
The spread above, is what was served. The meal consisted of peas pulav, puri, raita, chhole, sukha aalu and lamb curry, followed by kheer/payesh.Yes, yes that is completely me bragging. But I am sure the serving, and presentation could have been greatly improved. But I give myself the concession of having just moved in, and managing with whatever I had.
I don't think the BB got the point of being the star of the evening. He was rather smitten by Aadya(Trishna's daughter). So much so, infact, that even while cutting his cake, his eyes were fixed on her. After the eventual shyness, she too became relaxed, and these two little ones, under the supervision of an elder, kid managed to amuse themselves well. Did I tell you, all my culinary efforts were completely ignored by these two kids, and they actually survived the evening on just the chips served with the cake. Just look at them, hovering around the bowl of chips.
The candles were blown, people sang the birthday song, My BB cut the cake, and so it was the kind of celebration I had been waiting to have for his birthday since the day he was born. And finally it was done. Not huge, but a party all the same. And here is saying cheers to my little baby, who had suddenly turned into a boy of three, and life has become a bit tougher!
We invited three families, one of whom, we met for the first time in our lives and fell quite in love with, Trishna's. It was rather sweet of everyone to come in. The party actually happened on the eve of the BB's birthday, since I did not want to spend his birthday all busy with the dinner preparations. A set of friends, trooped in earlier, and helped with the decorations and preparations. Below is a photo of what the living room looked like, just after being decorated.
And next, is one of a gorgeous cap, that was gifted to the BB, which was just ideal for the day, since it is shaped like a birthday cake, with exactly three candles on it. I think it is absolutely adorable, so just wanted everyone to peek at it.
My job for the day was to prepare the dinner. And never in my life have I cooked for eight adults and three kids. I have a great habit of choking up, while cooking, and invariably mess up the food, when having guests over. I neither had great cutlery, nor my regular resources and so the task just got more daunting. The cake was ordered from a shop ofcourse, I have no idea about cake icings, and I had not even tested the oven here till then. Chips and dips were all that was kept on the ready for starters. A friend made some yummy pineapple raita, and fortunately, the rest of the food, that I prepared, turned out quite nicely, nothing was burnt, had extra or less salt, and that for me is good enough reason to celebrate. There were seven dishes including the raita, and I am super-duper happy that I could pull it off. A completely Indian meal, and decently edible. Unfortunately, I was all rushed, and have never hosted a party at home, so I don't claim to have been half as decent a host as I would have liked to be, but I loved the guests, who were gracious enough not to mind that, and just go about the whole thing happily.
The spread above, is what was served. The meal consisted of peas pulav, puri, raita, chhole, sukha aalu and lamb curry, followed by kheer/payesh.Yes, yes that is completely me bragging. But I am sure the serving, and presentation could have been greatly improved. But I give myself the concession of having just moved in, and managing with whatever I had.I don't think the BB got the point of being the star of the evening. He was rather smitten by Aadya(Trishna's daughter). So much so, infact, that even while cutting his cake, his eyes were fixed on her. After the eventual shyness, she too became relaxed, and these two little ones, under the supervision of an elder, kid managed to amuse themselves well. Did I tell you, all my culinary efforts were completely ignored by these two kids, and they actually survived the evening on just the chips served with the cake. Just look at them, hovering around the bowl of chips.
The candles were blown, people sang the birthday song, My BB cut the cake, and so it was the kind of celebration I had been waiting to have for his birthday since the day he was born. And finally it was done. Not huge, but a party all the same. And here is saying cheers to my little baby, who had suddenly turned into a boy of three, and life has become a bit tougher!Saturday, September 5, 2009
The Comfort Blanket
The BB, has never needed a comfort blanket. there is no object or toy he is particularly attached to that he seeks comfort from. Though my mind was filled with pictures of babies hugging soft toys, and I got them aplenty for the BB, he never got interested in them. Of late though, the BB goes to bed with some comfort items of his own. They are not the same each day, but vary, based on his mood.
My box of sugar from the kitchen, he would not let go of, and I finally pried it out of his hands after he fell asleep, only after clicking a few photos though.
His favourite pals of late, the multi pin, my phone charger and the laptop cord.
My box of sugar from the kitchen, he would not let go of, and I finally pried it out of his hands after he fell asleep, only after clicking a few photos though.
His favourite pals of late, the multi pin, my phone charger and the laptop cord.There have been objects like kitchen ladles, and the cooking wok too, but I have no photos of them. I will have so much fun showing these photos to him, when grows up.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Why My Men Are Important To Me
Late in the night, peaceful that the DH has reached his destination finally, I am finally able to do the post I have been wanting to, since last evening.
To say I am a happy person, would not be a very accurate statement. I have a happy disposition, but I also have a always-in-a-rush-never-relaxed mindset, so you cannot call me completely happy. I get upset easily, as I do get angry and hyper, while the DH (and hopefully the BB too) is my complete anti-thesis. He is hardly ever stressed out or worried, never rushed, he drops activities or even chores, if he feels like just lazing around and sleeping. I get all worked up about the things that need to be done, and so I neither rest nor work. And such things always lead to my getting all upset, because he is not up and about and doing things, while I am so tensed up about even the silly household chores. I want to reduce my stress levels and relax like he does, but I never really succeed.
And then when I end up wondering about all the ways in which we are complete opposites, and how did we fall for each other in the first place, there comes up a situation to tell me, just why it happened, and how much I need to be with this man. Yesterday we did our groceries in the evening, and got back home, looking for a parking spot. We spotted a nice one, and there was a Jeep there, with a driver, and we knew he was about to move, so we waited. And then all of a sudden, another car just comes up from our left, the Jeep moves, and this one gets parked. We realised immediately the man in the Jeep was holding the spot for the other car. I seethed I tell you. And then this girl got off the car, joined the man in the Jeep and off they went. I was angry, and said he cannot just hold a spot like that. And the DH was so zen, and smiling and saying , "Uski babe hai, uske liye toh parking spot dhoond ke rakhega hi na!"(That's his girlfriend, obviously he would save a parking spot for her). He was so cool and smiling, and I was so angry. And just then I knew if I had a husband, who would get angry at a situation like this too, that would just make it so bad for both of us, and here was the DH smiling and laughing about it, which calmed me down and my temper cooled down within a couple of minutes. Its so cool, having a hubby like him, especially for someone like me, who does not even need a proper reason to get worked up, and this man stays cool even under fire. I so so so need him.
Once back home, the BB had all his toys, colours, books, everything spread on the living room carpet and was making merry, when I had a sudden urge to check his height. I have this wall at home, where I make him stand and mark it with a pencil, and write the date of the marking. So it makes for an easy growth study. So I just took him, and one of his crayons to do the deed yesterday. Seeing me use the crayon on the wall, had his grey cells whirring, and he ran off to draw with it happily on the living room wall. I tried to persuade him not to do it, but then let it be after a while. So there they were happy red scribbles on the corner wall of the living room. Once done, the boy took his water colour box and rubbed it on the wall there to get rid of it, trying to rub it off. When all his efforts went in vain, he simply came to me and started howling. He did not want the mess, it had to go away. He took me to the corner, pointed at the scribbles and continued to howl. Now, this is distemper paint, I don't know if the crayon marking would go. I tried with a wet sponge, to no effect on the wall, but an increased decibel of howling. So I got an all purpose cleaner, sprayed it abundantly on the wall, and scrubbed real hard, and the crayon started to fade. After about a fifteen minute cleaning job I was done. Washed my hand, and sat down on the couch. The BB came into the room, looked at the corner, ran to me and just curled up into my lap. He said thank you to me in the sweetest way possible, by his act, he just hugged me and stayed curled up in my lap for a long long time. I cannot express in words here, how clearly his message touched my heart. He said it so wonderfully without words. Oh! My baby, you so make every effort worth a lot more than it really is.
So I ended the day very very pleased with both the men I have in my life, and knowing that I am a happier, and better person for them being mine.
To say I am a happy person, would not be a very accurate statement. I have a happy disposition, but I also have a always-in-a-rush-never-relaxed mindset, so you cannot call me completely happy. I get upset easily, as I do get angry and hyper, while the DH (and hopefully the BB too) is my complete anti-thesis. He is hardly ever stressed out or worried, never rushed, he drops activities or even chores, if he feels like just lazing around and sleeping. I get all worked up about the things that need to be done, and so I neither rest nor work. And such things always lead to my getting all upset, because he is not up and about and doing things, while I am so tensed up about even the silly household chores. I want to reduce my stress levels and relax like he does, but I never really succeed.
And then when I end up wondering about all the ways in which we are complete opposites, and how did we fall for each other in the first place, there comes up a situation to tell me, just why it happened, and how much I need to be with this man. Yesterday we did our groceries in the evening, and got back home, looking for a parking spot. We spotted a nice one, and there was a Jeep there, with a driver, and we knew he was about to move, so we waited. And then all of a sudden, another car just comes up from our left, the Jeep moves, and this one gets parked. We realised immediately the man in the Jeep was holding the spot for the other car. I seethed I tell you. And then this girl got off the car, joined the man in the Jeep and off they went. I was angry, and said he cannot just hold a spot like that. And the DH was so zen, and smiling and saying , "Uski babe hai, uske liye toh parking spot dhoond ke rakhega hi na!"(That's his girlfriend, obviously he would save a parking spot for her). He was so cool and smiling, and I was so angry. And just then I knew if I had a husband, who would get angry at a situation like this too, that would just make it so bad for both of us, and here was the DH smiling and laughing about it, which calmed me down and my temper cooled down within a couple of minutes. Its so cool, having a hubby like him, especially for someone like me, who does not even need a proper reason to get worked up, and this man stays cool even under fire. I so so so need him.
Once back home, the BB had all his toys, colours, books, everything spread on the living room carpet and was making merry, when I had a sudden urge to check his height. I have this wall at home, where I make him stand and mark it with a pencil, and write the date of the marking. So it makes for an easy growth study. So I just took him, and one of his crayons to do the deed yesterday. Seeing me use the crayon on the wall, had his grey cells whirring, and he ran off to draw with it happily on the living room wall. I tried to persuade him not to do it, but then let it be after a while. So there they were happy red scribbles on the corner wall of the living room. Once done, the boy took his water colour box and rubbed it on the wall there to get rid of it, trying to rub it off. When all his efforts went in vain, he simply came to me and started howling. He did not want the mess, it had to go away. He took me to the corner, pointed at the scribbles and continued to howl. Now, this is distemper paint, I don't know if the crayon marking would go. I tried with a wet sponge, to no effect on the wall, but an increased decibel of howling. So I got an all purpose cleaner, sprayed it abundantly on the wall, and scrubbed real hard, and the crayon started to fade. After about a fifteen minute cleaning job I was done. Washed my hand, and sat down on the couch. The BB came into the room, looked at the corner, ran to me and just curled up into my lap. He said thank you to me in the sweetest way possible, by his act, he just hugged me and stayed curled up in my lap for a long long time. I cannot express in words here, how clearly his message touched my heart. He said it so wonderfully without words. Oh! My baby, you so make every effort worth a lot more than it really is.
So I ended the day very very pleased with both the men I have in my life, and knowing that I am a happier, and better person for them being mine.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Just What I Needed
As goes with my shopping frenzies, I get obsessed with one thing at a time, and keep buying loads of the same. At different points in time, they have been sarees, dupattas, footwear, bed covers,coffee mugs and such like. I just need an excuse to shop of course, but then I do OD on particular objects at different times. The current flavour is accessories, and I am definitely overdoing it. I have way too many necklaces with me now, and I still want some more. Recently say a post on Sraikh's blog about this nice necklace stand she has, and felt I could do with one too, its so much more trouble opening a box, and sifting through the contents to find the one I like.
Last evening, for the lack of anything to do, I brought out my box of jewelery to look at my collection and feel pleased. I just opened it, and lo- behold, my wish is granted. Please see the photos below, for my personalised necklace stand.
The fork in the background, is the one the BB was playing with, for his pretend cooking, before he turned his attention my way.
Now they all look so good, I would never know how to pick one, and it would never look as good on me!!
Last evening, for the lack of anything to do, I brought out my box of jewelery to look at my collection and feel pleased. I just opened it, and lo- behold, my wish is granted. Please see the photos below, for my personalised necklace stand.
The fork in the background, is the one the BB was playing with, for his pretend cooking, before he turned his attention my way.
Now they all look so good, I would never know how to pick one, and it would never look as good on me!!Wednesday, August 19, 2009
"Waaaaow" To Simple Pleasures.
That is the word always on the BB's lips these days. Anything, and "Wow". The origins lie with the GP though. Each time the BB would dress up to go out, or put on the sunglasses, the GP would say ,"Wow!". And so the BB now follows. If I tie up his longish hair into a tiny pony, he says it, or when he tries on my hairbands, as soon as it is in place, out comes a big ,"Waaaaow!". The word is repeated about a hundred times a day in the household in different lengths and tones, and it is yet to lose its charm on me. Each time he dresses up, he says it to himself, when his meals are served, he says it if he like the food, he even says it when his favourite ads turn up on TV. The most wonderful thing though, happened this weekend. I was getting dressed up for a weekend outing, and just as I finished, and was looking at myself one last time in the mirror, the BB walked into the room. All done, I turned to leave, and he pointed at me, and said , "Waaaaow!". And I went out feeling a bit bouncy.
Today evening, I went out with the BB in tow, sans the stroller, I think of it as an entrapment, though immensely useful at times.It just does not feel right to strap in a child who would love to run wild! After doing off with the errands, the two of us headed off for a tiny walk, and suddenly the wind started blowing really hard. The joy on the BB's face was indescribable. He was squealing in joy as the hair on his face blew in the winds. It was such fun to just be there with him, and enjoying his delight. Not surprising, since the GP and I both love the wind on our face, the bike being our favourite mode of transport for years, till the BB happened. I see him going the same way.
And now for some learning, when there is a toy bucket at home, it needs to be useful, besides simply holding the toys. So the BB has put the bucket to some more use, as you can see.
He overturned and emptied the entire thing, turned it upside down and just climbed on it. Now I only hope he does not realise too soon, that he can take the bucket to various places and use it as a way to reach the things he otherwise cannot!
Today evening, I went out with the BB in tow, sans the stroller, I think of it as an entrapment, though immensely useful at times.It just does not feel right to strap in a child who would love to run wild! After doing off with the errands, the two of us headed off for a tiny walk, and suddenly the wind started blowing really hard. The joy on the BB's face was indescribable. He was squealing in joy as the hair on his face blew in the winds. It was such fun to just be there with him, and enjoying his delight. Not surprising, since the GP and I both love the wind on our face, the bike being our favourite mode of transport for years, till the BB happened. I see him going the same way.
And now for some learning, when there is a toy bucket at home, it needs to be useful, besides simply holding the toys. So the BB has put the bucket to some more use, as you can see.
He overturned and emptied the entire thing, turned it upside down and just climbed on it. Now I only hope he does not realise too soon, that he can take the bucket to various places and use it as a way to reach the things he otherwise cannot!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
The Mother I Am, And The One I Will Be
Long before I actually became a mother, I knew I would not go back to work once I did. Not within the stipulated maternity leave time atleast. I knew this because I was sure I would be unable to leave my child at home with anyone else, I so needed to be there at all times. I am paranoid, and need to be in control as a mother, so handing my child over to someone else, just would not work for me. And I personally believe, no one can replace the mother. Once I became a mother, such thoughts only grew stronger, and I wondered, if I would ever be able to let go and do my own thing again.
What I never understood was that the BB will grow up and need less of me in terms of quantity of time spent and more in terms of quality time. (I am incredibly slow at times.) So I wondered how I would manage being at home all times, because I knew I was not motivated enough to make it last a lifetime. I marvel at the women who do it. The ones who stay back and take care of home and family of their own free will. Because this is the one place, where one needs tremendous self motivation. There are no obvious perks, no raises, no benefits, nothing. The only thing to keep one going is their own want to do so, and the knowledge that they are giving something very special to their family. I am extremely impressed by the women who can do this. Being a stay at home mother, means less money, more work (yes there is more to do at home, than at work), less adult interaction, a lot of self discipline, and over all just a lot of self sacrifice. And very few women actually have it in them to do it without holding any grudges or getting absolutely frustrated. And here I have completely gone on a tangent to what I really want to say here.
Coming back to my initial line of thought, I was quite an attached to the baby kind of mother, when the BB was little, still am in a lot of ways, but I can see that the need to constantly being together is indeed gradually reducing. No, this does not mean I can just leave the BB with a neighbour and head out to the spa, quite yet, but I know I will get there in a couple of years, atleast, I see the hope now. I know I need to get out, and work, do something self satisfying to stay sane. I cannot stay at home forever, I am incapable of that kind of dedication, and it would lead me to get supremely frustrated, which is not a desirable state of being. It is not happening immediately, and I know that I will not be able to let go right now either, but I know it will happen in the future.
And I just marvel at how I have changed in my attitude as a mother, without having even realised it. I was such a paranoid crazy new mother the first few months, that the thoughts of going to work would have actually driven me crazy back in those days, and now as the BB is growing, getting more physically independent each day, I understand that his needs are changing, his need for me is not the constant physical presence, but more in terms of what he learns from me, and how that helps him interpret the world. Two years back, I could not even have imagined this as possible. And yet, here I am today, knowing that things are changing and will keep changing in the mother-son relationship I share with the BB.
Its fun, fun to know that there are no constants here, except for my love, even the protectiveness will over the years diminish, because he will step out into the world on his own, learn and explore, and I will have to let go, for him to learn, and that will be indeed the real test of what he has actually learnt from all that I teach him, that is when it will show whether the core values that I wish to impart does really hold or not. It is scary, and yet challenging, because I always need to be prepared, think ahead, and be prepared for the next step. So far it looks quite good, but I know the real tests of strength and capability lay in the years ahead, beyond the breastfeeding and lulling to sleep each night.
What I never understood was that the BB will grow up and need less of me in terms of quantity of time spent and more in terms of quality time. (I am incredibly slow at times.) So I wondered how I would manage being at home all times, because I knew I was not motivated enough to make it last a lifetime. I marvel at the women who do it. The ones who stay back and take care of home and family of their own free will. Because this is the one place, where one needs tremendous self motivation. There are no obvious perks, no raises, no benefits, nothing. The only thing to keep one going is their own want to do so, and the knowledge that they are giving something very special to their family. I am extremely impressed by the women who can do this. Being a stay at home mother, means less money, more work (yes there is more to do at home, than at work), less adult interaction, a lot of self discipline, and over all just a lot of self sacrifice. And very few women actually have it in them to do it without holding any grudges or getting absolutely frustrated. And here I have completely gone on a tangent to what I really want to say here.
Coming back to my initial line of thought, I was quite an attached to the baby kind of mother, when the BB was little, still am in a lot of ways, but I can see that the need to constantly being together is indeed gradually reducing. No, this does not mean I can just leave the BB with a neighbour and head out to the spa, quite yet, but I know I will get there in a couple of years, atleast, I see the hope now. I know I need to get out, and work, do something self satisfying to stay sane. I cannot stay at home forever, I am incapable of that kind of dedication, and it would lead me to get supremely frustrated, which is not a desirable state of being. It is not happening immediately, and I know that I will not be able to let go right now either, but I know it will happen in the future.
And I just marvel at how I have changed in my attitude as a mother, without having even realised it. I was such a paranoid crazy new mother the first few months, that the thoughts of going to work would have actually driven me crazy back in those days, and now as the BB is growing, getting more physically independent each day, I understand that his needs are changing, his need for me is not the constant physical presence, but more in terms of what he learns from me, and how that helps him interpret the world. Two years back, I could not even have imagined this as possible. And yet, here I am today, knowing that things are changing and will keep changing in the mother-son relationship I share with the BB.
Its fun, fun to know that there are no constants here, except for my love, even the protectiveness will over the years diminish, because he will step out into the world on his own, learn and explore, and I will have to let go, for him to learn, and that will be indeed the real test of what he has actually learnt from all that I teach him, that is when it will show whether the core values that I wish to impart does really hold or not. It is scary, and yet challenging, because I always need to be prepared, think ahead, and be prepared for the next step. So far it looks quite good, but I know the real tests of strength and capability lay in the years ahead, beyond the breastfeeding and lulling to sleep each night.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Its Not Easy Being A Mother
The BB has now developed a penchant for doing everything the right way these days. It is driving me up the wall. Every time he sees my coffee mug, he brings a coaster to me, and forces me to place the mug on it, even if I am sitting on the floor. He will actually pull the mug off my lips, and have the mug placed properly on the coaster.
Each time I bring my laptop, he follows with the cord, and plugs it in. The moment I put close the laptop's lid, the cord is unplugged from the laptop. In fact if I lock the laptop, and the password screen shows, he does not rest, till I shut the lid. For someone like me, who has pretty much no rules in place, it is quite a pain, to follow the rules.
It is exasperating, when I clear out the floor of all his mess, all over the house, for my vacuum and mop routine, and halfway through, find the floor messed up yet again, sometimes worse than before. If I dare leave the laptop anywhere within his reach, it would be attacked with ferocity, he even tries to sit with my laptop on his lap, and I am fortunate, that the screen has not detached itself so far.
Every pan I use for cooking has to be placed on the burner by him, else I will see no end to his screaming. He holds the bottle, when I fill water, and would be upset if its filled up before he gets a chance to hold the bottle. Similar things happen when I am making the bed or putting the laundry in for washing. If I lie down for just a minute on the carpet in the living room, off comes the quilt from the bedroom. Which only means I have to go and put it back in.
While it may sound cute, but it slows me down so bad, that it gets irritating. And sometimes I really need to scream to get him to stop. And later I just hate myself for doing that.
The BB's favourite alphabet is B, and he opens his alphabet book, and says only 'B'. He even says it in his sleep. B for BB after all!
PS - I tried the SG, BG thing, but it just is not working for me. I am completely messing it up. So am back to the original nomenclatures!
Each time I bring my laptop, he follows with the cord, and plugs it in. The moment I put close the laptop's lid, the cord is unplugged from the laptop. In fact if I lock the laptop, and the password screen shows, he does not rest, till I shut the lid. For someone like me, who has pretty much no rules in place, it is quite a pain, to follow the rules.
It is exasperating, when I clear out the floor of all his mess, all over the house, for my vacuum and mop routine, and halfway through, find the floor messed up yet again, sometimes worse than before. If I dare leave the laptop anywhere within his reach, it would be attacked with ferocity, he even tries to sit with my laptop on his lap, and I am fortunate, that the screen has not detached itself so far.
Every pan I use for cooking has to be placed on the burner by him, else I will see no end to his screaming. He holds the bottle, when I fill water, and would be upset if its filled up before he gets a chance to hold the bottle. Similar things happen when I am making the bed or putting the laundry in for washing. If I lie down for just a minute on the carpet in the living room, off comes the quilt from the bedroom. Which only means I have to go and put it back in.
While it may sound cute, but it slows me down so bad, that it gets irritating. And sometimes I really need to scream to get him to stop. And later I just hate myself for doing that.
The BB's favourite alphabet is B, and he opens his alphabet book, and says only 'B'. He even says it in his sleep. B for BB after all!
PS - I tried the SG, BG thing, but it just is not working for me. I am completely messing it up. So am back to the original nomenclatures!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Knon
Huh? What? Is that what you are wondering. Well in the SG's language, that means nose. The SG has finally started to talk, bit by bit. little by little. I have reached a brand new, and wonderful stage in my life as a mother, that of a teacher, I mean the formal kinds. I am teaching him to recognise parts of the face now.
At a little over two and half years of age, we have been eagerly awaiting the words from the SG, and now they are coming, and sound like honey to our ears. My little love, now touches the parts and says ice(eyes), ear, knon(nose), mou(mouth), teet(teeth), keeks(cheeks) and tos(toes). Learnt well wouldn't you say. Last night he was seeing his photos on the laptop, and he pointed to the parts he knew and said them aloud in each of the photos. I tried to teach him hair, but realised it sounds too much like ear, and this was the first time I realised that.Being a mother really is teaching me new things. I am loving it. :) So now let me go off and see the scrunched up knon.
Its amazing how well the SG is observing and picking up things now. Let me put it all down, so I can reminisce later. The little guy sits in his car seat, at the back in the car, and notices every little thing the BG and I do. On the occasional times, he sits with me in the front, he tries all of those things. He knows how to work the car radio, so he puts it on and adjusts the volume, Then he pulls down the sun shade, opens the mirror, checks himself, this is followed by an attack on his favourite item in the car, the GPS, if it is not in use. He now apes his father in putting up the GPS stand, starting right from blowing at it, to moisten it. It is just so much fun seeing him do all of it.
Most of the day he is up and around with the vacuum cleaner in the house, assembled, plugged in, switched on and working. As I sit, typing this post on the sofa, he sits next to me, with his laptop on his lap, and pretends to type. The SG wears a hairband, as soon as I put on one, and looks amazingly adorable in it. When I wear my earrings, he pretends to wear some himself. He is quite capable of turning keys and opening doors now, so the key is kept quite out of his reach.He tries on our sunglasses all the time. We bought a pair for him, but he refuses to wear them. At home, he finds my spects and puts them on. And not only does he wear them, he puts it up on his head, like I do with my shades. This boy is getting there I tell you.When about to leave home, I pick up a bottle of water and glass for him. he immediately produces the bag to put them in, puts them in the bag, and places it in the tray under his stroller, which is where I put it.
The sweetest little thing happened on Saturday, and I missed it. I was off to get myself some tops, and was in and out of the trial room in a store, trying them on. While the SG ran about the store, with his father following him around. After we got home that evening, the BG tells me, there was a mannequin in the store with a bag on its shoulder, the kind I carry when I take the SG to the park. The small canvas one, which is usually worn across and holds the basics. So the little guy reaches out to the mannequin, opens the bag and pretends to pull out something, then holds it to his ears, talks, says bye and put the phone back in the bag. My little baby, is that how much you notice, and know? You have learned to play with pretend toys, and things. You are growing up so much, so soon, and I am loving every bit of being your mother, just as long as your pretend cooking, which involves spilling all the bottles of water available on the carpet stays at bay. Oh! and just yesterday he saw the newspaper, with a photo of sliced mangoes, and enthusiastically barged on to pretend eating them.
At a little over two and half years of age, we have been eagerly awaiting the words from the SG, and now they are coming, and sound like honey to our ears. My little love, now touches the parts and says ice(eyes), ear, knon(nose), mou(mouth), teet(teeth), keeks(cheeks) and tos(toes). Learnt well wouldn't you say. Last night he was seeing his photos on the laptop, and he pointed to the parts he knew and said them aloud in each of the photos. I tried to teach him hair, but realised it sounds too much like ear, and this was the first time I realised that.Being a mother really is teaching me new things. I am loving it. :) So now let me go off and see the scrunched up knon.
Its amazing how well the SG is observing and picking up things now. Let me put it all down, so I can reminisce later. The little guy sits in his car seat, at the back in the car, and notices every little thing the BG and I do. On the occasional times, he sits with me in the front, he tries all of those things. He knows how to work the car radio, so he puts it on and adjusts the volume, Then he pulls down the sun shade, opens the mirror, checks himself, this is followed by an attack on his favourite item in the car, the GPS, if it is not in use. He now apes his father in putting up the GPS stand, starting right from blowing at it, to moisten it. It is just so much fun seeing him do all of it.
Most of the day he is up and around with the vacuum cleaner in the house, assembled, plugged in, switched on and working. As I sit, typing this post on the sofa, he sits next to me, with his laptop on his lap, and pretends to type. The SG wears a hairband, as soon as I put on one, and looks amazingly adorable in it. When I wear my earrings, he pretends to wear some himself. He is quite capable of turning keys and opening doors now, so the key is kept quite out of his reach.He tries on our sunglasses all the time. We bought a pair for him, but he refuses to wear them. At home, he finds my spects and puts them on. And not only does he wear them, he puts it up on his head, like I do with my shades. This boy is getting there I tell you.When about to leave home, I pick up a bottle of water and glass for him. he immediately produces the bag to put them in, puts them in the bag, and places it in the tray under his stroller, which is where I put it.The sweetest little thing happened on Saturday, and I missed it. I was off to get myself some tops, and was in and out of the trial room in a store, trying them on. While the SG ran about the store, with his father following him around. After we got home that evening, the BG tells me, there was a mannequin in the store with a bag on its shoulder, the kind I carry when I take the SG to the park. The small canvas one, which is usually worn across and holds the basics. So the little guy reaches out to the mannequin, opens the bag and pretends to pull out something, then holds it to his ears, talks, says bye and put the phone back in the bag. My little baby, is that how much you notice, and know? You have learned to play with pretend toys, and things. You are growing up so much, so soon, and I am loving every bit of being your mother, just as long as your pretend cooking, which involves spilling all the bottles of water available on the carpet stays at bay. Oh! and just yesterday he saw the newspaper, with a photo of sliced mangoes, and enthusiastically barged on to pretend eating them.
Aping me, by wearing an apron, like I have to do the dishes. And trying to do the dishes too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)