Kill-Joy Birds.

OK, so I don't have a green thumb, and I know it. That is the reason I had handed over the watering-the-plants responsibility to the GP in Dubai, where I was really attempting to grow some potted plants. I was amazed at how well they had grown with him watering them for 10-15 days while I was visiting India. The difference in the way the plants had reacted was obvious to me, and the responsibility was promptly handed over to the one, the plants loved more. After a while of that, we are now in a new land, and here I have a garden, a reasonably decently sized backyard, and lots of time at hand.

The garden has all kinds of plants in place, quite messed up, and I am a bit hesitant to actually walk in and clean it all up, esp, with the random spiders and insects I have seen. I have so far restricted my duty to the bi-weekly watering with the hose up front. In the backyard though, I have a lot of empty pots, and the desires for a kitchen garden have been on the rise, since some ingredients very essential to my cooking, are just so expensive here. And hence I decided to test my skills with coriander/cilantro. Mailed up friends, took tips, and set to work, if you can call it that. Just layered one of the pots with some manure, dropped some seeds into it, and watered it daily. After about 10 days, the seeds sprouted and I could see tiny green leaves making their way up. The brain was filled with thoughts of green chicken, and more within the next fortnight. What was I to know, what is to come.

A few days back, the old house on the plot adjoining my backyard was demolished. Followed, by completely uprooting about 6 huge trees which had resided there. Now there lies a flat piece of open land. The birds which had been living in those trees were suddenly finding themselves homeless, and I see them at all hours of the day, sitting on that land and pecking. I know not what, though. Yesterday I went to water my new saplings-of-joy, after coming back from the BB's playgroup, and what do I see? There are none. I am sure there were atleast 8-10 of them, and now there were none. This is just so not fair. My first attempt ever at growing something edible, and this is what happens. Maybe its a sign from God telling me not to interfere in the cycle of nature, with my bound to be doomed attempts. I was hoping to click photos, and put then up on the blog when they are a little bigger, and none of that is going to happen now.

So for now, I am quite dejected. All plans related to any gardening like activities have been shelved. This is so not done, why did those dastardly birds have to peck away my very first attempts. I am so so so never going to forgive them. I hate you, you bad bad birds. And all kinds of sympathies, hugs, and affection from everyone is most welcome at this point in time.

Tips For Better Health

Weight is something the entire world today is obsessed about, every woman wants to be a stick thin insect, and every man wants to have a body rippling with muscles. People pick their own ways to get there, and some don't pick a way at all, just keep wanting it, but don't do anything to proactively achieve that. I belonged to the latter category pretty much all my life. I belong to a family, which completely lives to eat, and when I say eat, I am referring to food that has our mouth watering, but the body would be a lot better off, starving instead. Food also was my comfort zone all my life, it was the one thing that made me happy, or feel comforted, or just generally at ease. Pretty much everything in my life was forever related to food, be it celebrations or anxiety, or distress, my answer to everything in life was, and to a certain extent, still is, food. I ate, when I had nothing to do, and I ate junk.

I love physical activity, but the lifestyle did not always permit exclusive time for that. Setting aside time exclusively for exercising is not so much my thing, as is playing or running or cycling, things which have me outdoors, and breathing in fresh air. Last year when I began my quest for a fitter, healthier me, and also one, that could fit into clothes available in the market, a lot of things had to change, most importantly my attitude and mindset. I realise that, now, having come through almost a year since I started. I know a lot of people out there are working hard and desperately wanting a body to die for, mostly inspired by all that we see around us defined as beauty. Since coming to Melbourne, I am amazed to see new moms, flaunting modeling worthy waif like figures, and these are regular women I am talking about. In fact the other day, while walking down, I saw this gorgeous woman walking towards me on the side walk. She was a looker alright, with a really nice figure. After a while she turned to get into her car, and it was then that I saw her profile, and realised she was heavily pregnant. I was amazed at how these women manage to have pregnancies like Angelina Jolie, basically meaning, that there is only a baby bump and not a single ounce of weight added anywhere else on their body. Maybe its the genes, maybe its the lifestyle. But not everyone is that lucky, and a lot, or rather most Indian women do put on weight during pregnancy, and many don't have it just melting off their bodies, like the books say it would. For me nothing but sheer hard work worked.

Having reached halfway to where I need to be, I thought of sharing some tips, which have worked for me, and which I hope can aid, someone out there who needs to find a start.

• Diet and exercise and the corner-stones of health and fitness, anything else is a sham, and is likely to cause more harm to your body than help it.
• The goal should be to get fitter, healthier NOT just to lose weight or have specific measurements. THINK HEALTH, not weight, and you will get more than what you want.
  
• Only dieting or just exercising will not get you the that a combination of both would, and both are equally important when looking at health improvements. A strenuous workout followed by a bucket full of KFC will not end up giving you anything.
  
• Start small. Don't try a 2 hour workout routine on the first day, start by a simple 20-30 mins walk daily. Keep the walk focused on exercising your body, try and make it brisk, don't stroll. If you have not been actively exercising your body, warm it up, to get into a state where it can handle strenuous workouts, if you jump into something big, the chances of hurting stiff muscles or burning out is very high.
• Eat well, no need to starve, just eat healthy food, don't need a complete diet revamp, but think healthier. We all know the basic rules, like less fat, more vegetables, more raw foods. Keep that in mind while cooking or eating each meal. Pick the brown/wholegrain bread, reduce the oil you use to cook, mix up your grains, don't eat late at night, add fresh juices n salads to your meals. Its not easy to completely change your food-habits overnight, instead gradually introduce the healthier foods, and balance the quantity intake, of whats not quite that healthy and the only healthy way to eat is to balance. A certain amount fat is as needed by the body as are fresh fruits.
  
• Drink atleast 2-3 litres of water each day to get rid of all the toxins in your body.
• When eating, always think of the nutrition the food is giving your body. Even if it is chocolate, think of the cocoa in it, and how great it is for your body.
  
• Avoid processed food, no matter how low in fat it claims to be. Its not just about counting calories, its about eating things that make your body healthier and better, and enables it to be better at burning off calories. A low-fat pack of wafers is doing the body no good.
  
• Sleep is very very important. Especially once you start working out, which means your body is getting stressed and strained, going through wear and tear. It needs some extra hours of rest to recoup itself. 8 hours is what is called a good night's sleep, for a reason, let your body get that. If it does not get enough rest, the body gets fatigued and tiered, and that just reverses all the effects of your efforts.
• If you occasionally binge, or eat something, that makes you feel bad, don't let the feeling stay, walk it off. Just go for a walk, so that you burn off the calories, and get off the guilt. And if it is something that is unhealthy, balance it with a glass of fresh juice or a fruit or salad.
• There is loads of information on the Internet, read up, it helps you understand things and make better choices. Just saying, avoid sugar is no good, unless you know why. So read up and find out what you need to do, and why. That will also help you find alternatives for what you do, and keep you more flexible and the entire change easier to adapt to.
• Make exercising fun, not a chore, that will help you keep at it consistently. Pick up a sport, if gyms bore you, go to the gym for a change of pace sometimes, and also to find people to motivate you. Do what you have fun doing, not something that you need to do. And that is the only way you will see it making a long term difference.
• Whatever else you do, don't overwork or starve yourself, because it will hurt you more than help, develop your routine gradually, and by testing your strengths and weaknesses, so that you can make it a lifestyle change, rather than a short-term activity to attain a certain dimension or weight.
  

Every body, and every person is different, and so no one can help you, better than yourself. And there can be no generalisations. Find out what works for you, keeping the basic rules in mind, and then keep at it. Natural news is a site I have personally found very useful in helping me understand dietary requirements of the body and how to work on it. Hop over for a read if you like.

Personally I need to get back on top of my routine. Since I left Sharjah, I have been piling on the pounds, due to lack of exercise, and being nowhere close to the routine I had established. The diet has gone haywire too, with a lot of sweet chocolaty things making their way into my mouth. The stay in India could not have been without roadside Chinese, samosas and more. I think I ate up, upto 4 samosas at one go at times. Oh! I so crave those deep friend pieces of pure sin. And hence I am now paying the price of it all. I desperately need to get back into a healthy lifestyle again, and am working towards it, slipping off every other day, but trying alright. Hope these tips help you. And may I say I am no health/fitness/medical expert, and every bit in this post is based on my personal experience.

Taking On Our Genes

The BB is tiered of seeing just the GP and me handling the cameras in this household. And he obviously sees up having fun with ours. The one time he laid his hands on a camera, it was made very clear to him, that he is not supposed to do that. So he has is own camera now, which he uses, when he sees either of us clicking photos, he always wants to be clicking, instead of being the one who poses. He of course is quite professional in his work, and replicates the exact sounds, of the lens focusing. Here are a couple of shots of the budding photographer in the family.





The sitting position, is because, I sit down to get to his eye level while clicking his portraits.

On another note, the BB recently had a haircut, a professional one that is, after the home-made disaster. since I have not even mentioned that one, the BB tried out cutting his own hair, at home. Unfortunately I caught him with the scissors, after a snip or two, by which time the damage was done. The scissors had been kept at a level unreachable to him, but he is a growing boy, and pretty much each day, attaining new heights, and hence he managed to find the scissors. Fortunately they were the tiny plastic ones. Coming back to the haircut, seeing what he had done, I tried to balance out the uneven-ness to the best oh my abilities. The GP came home, and did some more with his trimmer. And then we decided to let it grow a bit and get him a professional hair cut. So this time, we went to the GPs barber and got the BB a haircut from there. He sat patiently and quietly, got his hair cut and trimmed. And that was followed by the barber, spiking up his hair with gel. The BB looked smashing with the spikes in place. The GP did not allow the hair to be washed, or the spikes to be straightened out, all of that day!

Do You Lie?

A stupid question really, because technically, pretty much all of us do. Or do you claim to be the most honest person on the face of earth. Some of you may, because lack of a clear self image in people is just so common today, that it has stopped to even surprise me. Now the only thing it does, is fill me with a fear, that I may soon start over estimating myself.

No it is not humility I am talking about here, but plain and simple lack of plain sight. I see the most dishonest people, openly claim themselves to be extremely honest, adulterous men calling themselves virtuous, people who are perpetually bitching about others, claiming to never say a bad word about anybody, and not only are these statements the casually make, but things that they truly believe about themselves. And that scares me. How false a self image can people nurture. I see it in so many people these days, that I don't know whether that is the normal way to be.

One may argue that such people were not taught to distinguish between right and wrong, maybe no one taught them when they were children, but I just cannot believe that. These things are part of our conscience, don't we just know what is right and what is wrong. Not being taught? maybe not formally, but we all learn what is right and what is wrong as we grow up don't we? Maybe not. But the fact remains, how are people so blissfully unaware of their faults or wrongdoings?

There is no scope for change or improvement, if someone is completely blind to the fact that they do have some faults, what will you improve in the perfect? And that I believe is the reason, most people never care to change or get better. Forget about accepting a mistake, they are blind to their personality traits, like being a habitual liar or manipulator or even a fanatic for that matter. I remember interacting with a blogger long back, who claimed to be very mild tempered, but one look at the blog and you know it is just the exact opposite that is in fact reality. How, and I really wonder how do these people create such illusions about their own selves? How can one lie to the soul?

I am very aware of my drawbacks, my weaknesses, my wrongdoings. If I lie, I know I have done it, and it is not right, anger remains to be my biggest enemy, when I am upset with someone, I am super critical of them, and I am aware of these things. How can I not be, I do it, how can I not know it? I am neither special, nor great, not even close to nice, because I have way too many faults that need to be worked on, and if someone as average(or maybe below average) like me can know it, I just don't get how others don't. What could be the possible reasons I wondered. They may not know right from wrong (is that even possible??), they have the I am always correct syndrome(no hope for a change then), pretending to themselves, hoping that if they do it long enough, they will believe in it themselves (wow! what a wrong attitude towards change), and I cannot think of any other. Whatever the reason, I don't find any of the excuses plausible or even acceptable as a reason. It is a really sad person, who is not honest to himself. And I definitely hope I never take the turn to get to such a point. If nothing, being aware of my flaws, gives me some hope of improving on them.

What about you, are you aware of your flaws, or do you not believe you have any?

Tales Of the Play-Group Kind

The BB is my first baby, and infact my first long and hands on experience with a baby and its care. I am an only child, so I never saw siblings being brought up, nor did an elder sibling have kids before me, for me to know how things go. My cousins live worlds apart, some I have not even seen in ages, so well, I basically have not seen children being brought up, never been closely associated with their care, till a few of my friends popped up children. So pretty much everything I did for or with the BB was a first timer for me.

Recently he joined a playgroup. Honestly, I did not even know what exactly that is, and what to expect.I have grown up in India, very middle class upbringing. I remember my first brush formal education was a pre-nursery thing, which lasted for about 2 days, and on the third, I just ran away from it and walked back home, at the ripe old age of two and half or three. End of story, then fast forward to four plus, and I joined a proper school. So all the pre-nursery, playschool kind of thing is quite alien to me. Things being different here, no unstructured playing, or hanging around with kids of the neighbourhood happening, I needed to find something for the BB to do, to start socialising. Especially since he has never done that, with us having being moving around all this time. So the playschool option came up, and I jumped on it, not knowing too well what to expect.

On enquiring, I was told, I just need to carry some drinks and snacks for the BB for the two hour session if I want to. So all happy and excited, off I went with a few biscuits and some water to conquer the world of playgroup with the BB. What do you think it was, exactly, what the name says, a PLAY GROUP. Mothers, come in with their children, there are toys and activity stuff around, and the children basically play around and have their fun. Wow! Was I surprised? You bet. I have lived all my life in India people, the place where such things happen in the society compound, or gali (lane), or for the fortunate few a park or ground. The tools available, are some stones, to play pitthu, or a chalk to draw the table for stapu(hopskotch), and occasionally some dilligently collected balls, bats and raquets for playing. This completly formal set up was new to me to say the least. (For all those who are thinking this, I am putting it out aloud, in writing here, I am a un-enlightened gawaar(villager).) I still find it hard to believe that parents need to sit around, and watch children play, just regular play. There is no teacher teaching, or instructor or carer, but just a bunch of mommies, with their bachha party, there for a couple of hours of playing in a week. And the mothers actually drive down with packed lunches, and drinks for their lil ones for this 'activity'. I am impressed by their dedication, and yet nonplussed by the concept. Isn't it simpler to just let the kids join hands at the local park each evening and play, run and have fun? But from what I hear, its more about organised, formal activities than simple play and run around here.

Is it fun? Oh yes! The kids painted, atleast the ones who felt like it. Some ran around with wheel barrows, or cars, and for most of the time, most of them sat in the sand pit, and played with beach toys, atleast that is what the BB did most of the time. The kids all did their own thing, I did not see any group playing, and I did not say anything either, because it was my first time, and I was getting a hang of the playgroup, as much as of things around the place. The mothers seemed to be having a gala time chatting up, and swapping tales. I enjoyed it quite a bit myself. Also my first time interacting at a personal level with the locals, and it sure helped me learn. They are a friendly inclusive bunch of people there, and asked me a few things, about where I come from, what I do, how many kids I have, and how many more I plan on. I was the only one with just one child there, the minimum limit seemed to be two and quite a few had three or more. I was literally at the bottom rung. So many had closely spaced babies, with age gaps of a year or even less, and I cannot help being amazed at how well they are managing, with activities and more, no househelp/cook/chauffer/nanny to aid either. It was fun to just talk to them, and hear them chatting. Everyone was eager to help out with finding activities for the BB to do, since I am new here. And its so good to see, that academics are not the only option, nor the only focus.

Two pieces of conversation have stayed on with me, and I am representing them here, just to record them for posterity. The first one, was my big blunder, when referring to, what I have now learned should be called as caucasians, if I wish to be politically correct. A lady asked me about life in Dubai, and what kind of people are there, and while trying to explain, I used the word whites/white skinned people, and I knew that very moment that I had made a blunder, but for the life of me, could not recollect or think of the right term to use. Came home and realised, I infact did not know what is the politically correct term to be used to refer to the white skinned people, I know about Afrian- Americans or Asians, but the whites, what does one call them? Twitter to rescue please, tweeted, and specially asked Soli for advice, since she seems to be quite the wise one, and 'caucasian', came the reply. The second one, did not register with me , at the time it occured, but resonated in my super slow mind, after I came home. One of the ladies, asked me where I was from, and when I said, "India", she exclaimed surprise that I could speak English well. Somehow in the din and fun of being around the sand pit, and ofcourse my pea sized brain, the comment did not register at that point. And I think it was good it did not, because I may have reacted unfavourably, which would not have been a nice way to go on the very first day. And then as the GP pointed out, it maybe surprise, because India is not an English speaking country as such, just as people would be surprised by a Spanish man speaking fluently in English. Trust him to always come up with positive ideas, and do away with any negative thoughts that may build up. I found the explanation plausible enough, and decided to let to rest me easily provoked mind, and give the lady the benefit of doubt, also I don't remember exactly which one of them it was! Also wondering why hostile thoughts occur to me, before nice, positive ones like the GP, I so envy him that.

Those were the highlights of our first day in the playgroup. The BB behaved himself, and did not trouble any child, nor was he troubled by any. He played on his own, just as did all the others. Hoping that associations and friendships will form over time. The BB actually went and patted, and laid down, beside a little girl who was sleeping for most of the session. I found that really sweet, but then I am his smitten-for-life mother remember! The only problem is, that the BB goes and grabs the arm of pretty much any child he sees, though fortunately he did not do that the entire session on Monday. While for kids his size or older, I have no fear, besides the parents not liking their child being grabbed by someone unknown, I am very worried when he does to younger kids, since he may hurt them, unknowingly. I keep repeating to him, not to touch other children each time, we go out, but I really don't know how to get him off the habit of grabbing the arm of other children completely. He likes kids, and approaches them as soon as he spots them, and for the life of me I cannot make him nonchalant about them, and in someways, I am not sure I want him to be that way either. For now, I am hung up on the arm-grabbing thing, and I need to find a way to get the BB to get over that.

Resisting Temptation

Completely inspired by Sraikh, I have been scouring the trading sites here, for some of the more fancy, non necessary things I need around the house. And on Saturday picked up three pretty bamboo, wicker baskets from a girl who sold them. Came home, got the baskets out, and found a pretty silver chain in it. I am not the lucky kinds, who finds such things, like money on the roads, so this was definitely a first. I mailed, the girl, and called her up too. She said, she could not recollect any such chain. I even sent her a photo to be sure, but she said it was not hers, and she did not want it. I did not want to keep it, since its not mine. And so off it went into the red cross bin. Mighty proud of myself, so this is just to show off, and get some pats on the back. Look at my temptation below.


Ok, I agree its a simple plain chain, but I am sure I could have worn it. And I took special effort, paid for the tram, went all the way to the store, to drop this chain, and I did not even buy anything from there. I can so, see a halo around my head right now, its shining and glowing you know!

The question however is, would I do the same if this were a diamond or even a gold necklace? Would I be able to be this moral? Not sure, not sure at all, and I specially thought of it after a chat with Sraikh, on Saturday right after I found the chain, she had a similair line of thought, and wrote about it, in her usual cool style of writing, hop over for a read.

PS - This post was ready on Saturday, but the chain had not been dropped at red cross. So I waited, till I did that, before posting. Yesterday afternoon, I visited the store, dropped the chain in, and hence am happily and honestly posting this today, as early as I can!

The Valentine's Day Loot

Valentine's this year was the biggest and brightest for the youngest member of the goofy family. It was the BB's day all through the 14th. He was showered with an amazing number fo gifts and toys, and I am still with an ear to ear grin about it. Not only the gifts, but he got something he adores, a bike. His own bike, with his very own helmet. He was not prepared to leave the display piece in the shop alone, and was pretty much ready to bring it back home with him. It took all the combined convincing powers of the GP and me, to have him believe that, the box in our shopping cart was infact the very same thing.

The entire set of gifts.

The bike assembled, and off it goes!

No time for shoes, but the helmet made its way.

The BB awaited with bated breath for the cycle to be opened up, hovered around the GP while he put it together, and ran off almost as soon as it was done. Yes, he does love it. And no, my darling of a husband did not forget me. I have a pair of white-gold loops to show off now!

PS - I am trying to do a month-long no break blogging thing this month, and hence removed this post after it was mistakenly published yesterday, since I had done one for the day, and my shrunk brain has about as much ideas to post everyday!