- A Confession
There are always fears, but it is upto us to decide how we deal with it. We all have various things that motivate us, those that impede us, and then its upto us how we use it all. I am beating around the bush, yes, so let me just say this. I am learning to drive. Yes, finally. It is one of my biggest fears, followed closely by swimming. I am old, with creaking joints, which need regular maintenance, and yet I am finally fighting my fear.
I have ridden two wheelers, the basic ones without gears, years back when I was in college, always borrowed from a friend, and I have managed to bang them up twice. So you get my fear right? But now its high time I battled it, because its my son who needs me to be able to drive more than myself. In a place where auto rickshaws are not around, and buses are not very frequent, one cannot always rely on one's feet, to take them places. What when it rains, or its too hot, or if someone is not feeling well. Walking cannot be the only possible solution always. The BB will begin school next year, and I need to know basic, for use driving. And that is my greatest motivation factor.
Had my first professional coaching yesterday. Lets just say, my teacher was not impressed. But, this is not something where I have an option, I just have to go up there and do it. Might have to work a lot harder than everyone else, but I have to do it. Wish me luck people, I need loads of it. And hoping that actually saying it out aloud here, will mean, that I will try extra hard, to save me some shame, and actually be allowed to drive on the roads, sooner rather than later.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Time Moves Relatively
Have you ever met people after a really long time, and wondered whether the time never moved for them, or maybe not for you? Two ends of the same spectrum if I may say so. Facebook, to me is a necessary evil. Evil, because it leads me onto waste huge amounts of my valuable time, updating status messages or commenting on those of friends, and necessary, because its the easiest way for me to stay in touch with so many friends who live so far away. I digress. It is also a platform to find long lost friends, or those we have been out of touch with. And often the friend request there, leads to exchange of other contact details, e-mails and even phone calls.
And while its great fun to re-connect with friends, some of them end up leaving me astonished at how time has moved at vastly different paces for the two of us. Recently it was a guy I knew in college, used to be quite a buddy of mine. A fun loving flirt, always upto something, that's the kind of guy he was. And, almost ten years later, that is exactly how he still seems to be, being married and everything. And while it has been nice reconnecting, it is difficult to find a common ground any longer. While he still lives in a world, which is full of college trivialities, or atleast that is how it seems to me now, I have moved on so so much. He talks of our classmates in college, still in terms of crushes, good looking chics or cool dudes. He still talks about who had affairs with whom back then, who made it, who broke up, and such stuff. While its always fun to know how old friends are doing, after a while, it just got boring, because all of it is just so much in the past for me now. And more so the details, which have no importance at all. I really wonder how his wife deals with it, has he sucked her into the world of our college with all his tales? And mostly I wondered if time has stood still for him all these years, while it rushed by me.
And then my qualms were put to rest. Found an old old school friend recently, and God! I would not recognise her in a million years, if I met her now. The shy, pretty girl, a top scorer, she looks like a ramp scorching top model. Its been a metamorphosis like none I have seen before. She is still a brainy babe, with her LSE degree and everything, but is she a super hottie or what? What wouldn't the boys from school, give to have been a better friend of hers. I so always expected her to turn out to be the scholarly type, working in a big bank, being the best, which I guess she still is, but what I had never expected was this absolute glam doll, hanging around at night clubs and discs each night. Well, I afcourse am a social butterfly like no other, because I was and will be a caterpillar all my life in that area, and hence while I felt great catching up with a really dear friend from school after ages, I felt lost after a while, self conscious and more. With her it felt like time had stood still for me, while it simply rushed by her. But whatever, it is great great fun reconnecting with her!
And while on the topic of facebook related things, one of my pet peeves is people having public opinion polls on the looks of their spouse. Putting up a photo and actually asking something as 'duh' as, Isn't he/she cute? on a public website.... I would not have believed it possible, had it not been done by people on my own friend list, whom I readily dropped after the incident! Why, why and oh why, would you so objectify your own spouse, no matter what a looker he/she is. Please don't do it!
In very very happy news of national pride though, came across this is the newspaper today, and am so so so proud of India, and what to say of Mr. Chandrakant Singh, who really has done what others only dream of. He has set up a top notch, school of international standards in a village in Bihar, where the students are taught through video conferencing, by some of the best in their professions. This is what true patriotism, and a real desire to do something leads to. While we still languish in our worlds, of material desires, and material gains, its people like this, who give me hope for mankind, for India, and inspire me to try harder, do more. And yes, the true friend, teacher or guide is not one, who helps you whenever you need it, but rather the one who provides you with skills that let you fulfill your own needs and enables you to fight your own battles. And that is what impresses me most about this school, it is not dependent on the charity of others, but is able to sustain itself.
And while its great fun to re-connect with friends, some of them end up leaving me astonished at how time has moved at vastly different paces for the two of us. Recently it was a guy I knew in college, used to be quite a buddy of mine. A fun loving flirt, always upto something, that's the kind of guy he was. And, almost ten years later, that is exactly how he still seems to be, being married and everything. And while it has been nice reconnecting, it is difficult to find a common ground any longer. While he still lives in a world, which is full of college trivialities, or atleast that is how it seems to me now, I have moved on so so much. He talks of our classmates in college, still in terms of crushes, good looking chics or cool dudes. He still talks about who had affairs with whom back then, who made it, who broke up, and such stuff. While its always fun to know how old friends are doing, after a while, it just got boring, because all of it is just so much in the past for me now. And more so the details, which have no importance at all. I really wonder how his wife deals with it, has he sucked her into the world of our college with all his tales? And mostly I wondered if time has stood still for him all these years, while it rushed by me.
And then my qualms were put to rest. Found an old old school friend recently, and God! I would not recognise her in a million years, if I met her now. The shy, pretty girl, a top scorer, she looks like a ramp scorching top model. Its been a metamorphosis like none I have seen before. She is still a brainy babe, with her LSE degree and everything, but is she a super hottie or what? What wouldn't the boys from school, give to have been a better friend of hers. I so always expected her to turn out to be the scholarly type, working in a big bank, being the best, which I guess she still is, but what I had never expected was this absolute glam doll, hanging around at night clubs and discs each night. Well, I afcourse am a social butterfly like no other, because I was and will be a caterpillar all my life in that area, and hence while I felt great catching up with a really dear friend from school after ages, I felt lost after a while, self conscious and more. With her it felt like time had stood still for me, while it simply rushed by her. But whatever, it is great great fun reconnecting with her!
And while on the topic of facebook related things, one of my pet peeves is people having public opinion polls on the looks of their spouse. Putting up a photo and actually asking something as 'duh' as, Isn't he/she cute? on a public website.... I would not have believed it possible, had it not been done by people on my own friend list, whom I readily dropped after the incident! Why, why and oh why, would you so objectify your own spouse, no matter what a looker he/she is. Please don't do it!
In very very happy news of national pride though, came across this is the newspaper today, and am so so so proud of India, and what to say of Mr. Chandrakant Singh, who really has done what others only dream of. He has set up a top notch, school of international standards in a village in Bihar, where the students are taught through video conferencing, by some of the best in their professions. This is what true patriotism, and a real desire to do something leads to. While we still languish in our worlds, of material desires, and material gains, its people like this, who give me hope for mankind, for India, and inspire me to try harder, do more. And yes, the true friend, teacher or guide is not one, who helps you whenever you need it, but rather the one who provides you with skills that let you fulfill your own needs and enables you to fight your own battles. And that is what impresses me most about this school, it is not dependent on the charity of others, but is able to sustain itself.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
After the Break Or Break Ke Baad
The reason for this post is, that I am still unwilling to let this blog completely die, I am just not ready to completely give up on it yet. And yet I have to accept that regular blogging, like in the past, is unlikely to happen, atleast anytime soon. So I will post as and when I can, and with whatever I can. There have been many events in the past month or so, that should have been posted about, but was not, including a wonderful 4th birthday for the BB. And I am not making any false promises to myself or anyone else,that I will post about them. But what I can do is make this an update post of sorts, and then hopefully keep posting on and off through the year. And since this is my first official post for 2011, here is wishing anyone who reads this a very very Happy New Year.
Well, I think most of you know, but for those who don't, I moved to Brisbane in November, searched high and low for a place to rent, found one. And as soon as we shifted, in came the floods. They have been devastating, terrible. I was very fortunate to be in a place, which had no water coming in. The GP's office was flooded, and they were evacuated from the building. Follow that up with the building sustaining substantial damages, which meant employees were not allowed in for the past few weeks. The GP has been working from home, and is set to resume office finally from tomo, after nearly 3 weeks. The advantage was, that the house was settled more quickly, and that makes me happy, but not at what the cost was. It was heart breaking to see, people, old couples, who lost everything, their entire life's possessions. And no matter how non-materialistic we are, losing an entire lifetime's worth of things, including memories, photographs and more can be a very very hard ordeal. What shone through though was the spirit of Queenslanders! Cheers to that. The council got overwhelming requests for people wanting to volunteer and help. Over 60,000 people wanted to do something, and the council had to end up apologising, for not being able to fit everyone in. Such marvels of the human spirit always brings tears to my eyes, just as it is doing right now, even as I write this. It is a long hard path ahead, what with the main city, the CBD(Central Business District) going underwater, but we will get there!!
The BB's birthday was celebrated on the 3rd of Jan, a few days before the floods. It was a wonderful day, that we thoroughly enjoyed, and which completely calmed all my doubts regarding how we would do in a new city, where we have no friends yet. It was a day at the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary. Which meant we actually held a Koala, fed kangaroos out in the open with our own hands. Awesome fun, and the best bit being the BB enjoyed it without a sign of fear. It was lovely. Follow that up with a ferry ride across the city, and some biking along the river....it was a great fun day.
And the BB, well he has begun kindergarten here. Which basically means he has a ball of a time, running around, playing barefoot with friends, but there is rona-dhona, when I drop him off in the morning, and that does not occur if the GP performs those duties. So well, you get the picture! Not that nature has gifted me with enough mother's guilt, to last me 3 lifetimes, but my son has to add to that, and make me feel like the meanest mother on earth for leaving him in a place where he can play and have fun with children his age! The good bit is, that he is getting along with the kids here, more than he did in Melbourne. Maybe he has grown up. But unlike in Melbourne, where he would mostly play on his own, or just alongside other kids, he runs up quite a riot with the ones here. And he has loads to show and then tell me about his day, when I pick him up. I just think the bright sun makes him happier. We are, after all, tropical people, how can we survive without sunshine?
And then I obviously have to tell you the great BB's tale of glory. This Thursday, we took him for his 4 year old vaccinations. The list though similar to the one followed in India, has slight variations. Its a big pain for them as well as us, while they sit and compare the list, trying to make sure, my child has received everything that he needs to. fortunately this time they gave me an Australian list all marked and stamped, so that next time, there would be no need for all of that. And then as she said, the next shot will be, only when the BB is in high school. So rest and relax for now! Coming back to the point, I went in believing there would be 1 shot, the DPT+IPV, but there was also the MMR Booster, and then they wanted him to get an additional shot of Hep B, because they felt he should have had one at a longer gap. And they said, he could have them all the same day. Till last year, I could keep the BB distracted well enough not to realise the shot coming to him, till it actually did, and then it would be over before he knew it, and all would be well. I was a bit worried this time, since he is not quite as easy to distract now. So I tried to make it sound fun. And went all , "Oh! Wow! we are going to get injection. So cool! And the BB is such a big brave boy now. Wow!"insert more such things here. And then within a minute one after the other he received 3 shots on 2 arms, and would you believe it, not even a whimper. His eyes were set on the injections, he saw them piercing him each time, but not even a whimper. I think I am the proudest mother who ever lived.(Between the GP and me, I am the brave one here. The GP is terrified of objects that pierce the skin, while I stare at the injection while it pierces my vein and everything.) The centre was out of bubbles, and so they only gave him two little star stickers on each hand, and the boy went through most of the day without washing the back of his hand, for the fear of losing the stickers. Not a whimper, not even one... the nurse, another set of parents who were in with us, were all amazed. And yes as I said, I am the proudest mother in the world!
That kind of covers the main events so far. The house is still being set up, in terms of beautification, but I am happy with it over all. For one it has a bigger living area, and a kitchen than the older one, so more sensible planning here, and I feel good. The locality is nice, lots of family with kids, quiet, very very green, which means lot of spiders and other wildlife too, but so far I like it. Please tell em what have you been upto, and how has it been at your end, and I will try and keep updating this space, as often as I can.
Well, I think most of you know, but for those who don't, I moved to Brisbane in November, searched high and low for a place to rent, found one. And as soon as we shifted, in came the floods. They have been devastating, terrible. I was very fortunate to be in a place, which had no water coming in. The GP's office was flooded, and they were evacuated from the building. Follow that up with the building sustaining substantial damages, which meant employees were not allowed in for the past few weeks. The GP has been working from home, and is set to resume office finally from tomo, after nearly 3 weeks. The advantage was, that the house was settled more quickly, and that makes me happy, but not at what the cost was. It was heart breaking to see, people, old couples, who lost everything, their entire life's possessions. And no matter how non-materialistic we are, losing an entire lifetime's worth of things, including memories, photographs and more can be a very very hard ordeal. What shone through though was the spirit of Queenslanders! Cheers to that. The council got overwhelming requests for people wanting to volunteer and help. Over 60,000 people wanted to do something, and the council had to end up apologising, for not being able to fit everyone in. Such marvels of the human spirit always brings tears to my eyes, just as it is doing right now, even as I write this. It is a long hard path ahead, what with the main city, the CBD(Central Business District) going underwater, but we will get there!!
The BB's birthday was celebrated on the 3rd of Jan, a few days before the floods. It was a wonderful day, that we thoroughly enjoyed, and which completely calmed all my doubts regarding how we would do in a new city, where we have no friends yet. It was a day at the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary. Which meant we actually held a Koala, fed kangaroos out in the open with our own hands. Awesome fun, and the best bit being the BB enjoyed it without a sign of fear. It was lovely. Follow that up with a ferry ride across the city, and some biking along the river....it was a great fun day.
And the BB, well he has begun kindergarten here. Which basically means he has a ball of a time, running around, playing barefoot with friends, but there is rona-dhona, when I drop him off in the morning, and that does not occur if the GP performs those duties. So well, you get the picture! Not that nature has gifted me with enough mother's guilt, to last me 3 lifetimes, but my son has to add to that, and make me feel like the meanest mother on earth for leaving him in a place where he can play and have fun with children his age! The good bit is, that he is getting along with the kids here, more than he did in Melbourne. Maybe he has grown up. But unlike in Melbourne, where he would mostly play on his own, or just alongside other kids, he runs up quite a riot with the ones here. And he has loads to show and then tell me about his day, when I pick him up. I just think the bright sun makes him happier. We are, after all, tropical people, how can we survive without sunshine?
And then I obviously have to tell you the great BB's tale of glory. This Thursday, we took him for his 4 year old vaccinations. The list though similar to the one followed in India, has slight variations. Its a big pain for them as well as us, while they sit and compare the list, trying to make sure, my child has received everything that he needs to. fortunately this time they gave me an Australian list all marked and stamped, so that next time, there would be no need for all of that. And then as she said, the next shot will be, only when the BB is in high school. So rest and relax for now! Coming back to the point, I went in believing there would be 1 shot, the DPT+IPV, but there was also the MMR Booster, and then they wanted him to get an additional shot of Hep B, because they felt he should have had one at a longer gap. And they said, he could have them all the same day. Till last year, I could keep the BB distracted well enough not to realise the shot coming to him, till it actually did, and then it would be over before he knew it, and all would be well. I was a bit worried this time, since he is not quite as easy to distract now. So I tried to make it sound fun. And went all , "Oh! Wow! we are going to get injection. So cool! And the BB is such a big brave boy now. Wow!"insert more such things here. And then within a minute one after the other he received 3 shots on 2 arms, and would you believe it, not even a whimper. His eyes were set on the injections, he saw them piercing him each time, but not even a whimper. I think I am the proudest mother who ever lived.(Between the GP and me, I am the brave one here. The GP is terrified of objects that pierce the skin, while I stare at the injection while it pierces my vein and everything.) The centre was out of bubbles, and so they only gave him two little star stickers on each hand, and the boy went through most of the day without washing the back of his hand, for the fear of losing the stickers. Not a whimper, not even one... the nurse, another set of parents who were in with us, were all amazed. And yes as I said, I am the proudest mother in the world!
That kind of covers the main events so far. The house is still being set up, in terms of beautification, but I am happy with it over all. For one it has a bigger living area, and a kitchen than the older one, so more sensible planning here, and I feel good. The locality is nice, lots of family with kids, quiet, very very green, which means lot of spiders and other wildlife too, but so far I like it. Please tell em what have you been upto, and how has it been at your end, and I will try and keep updating this space, as often as I can.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Can't Really Name This One.
Reading the post by Smitha today, on parenting in a balanced way, sent my mind on a long thoughtful journey. It started with what her post said about parenting, thinking of it in terms of me as the parent, to me being parented, and how everything eventually turned out. To quote, Smitha says ,
Parenting is a difficult task, to put it mildly. It needs balance, focus, alertness, and mostly great strength to stick to my guns, in the toughest times. I am nowhere near being the perfect parent, I am too aware of my flaws and shortcomings to claim that. But somewhere along the line I have also come to realise, there is no fixed definition of the perfect parent either, because each child is different, and comes with different needs, likes and dislikes. What makes someone a perfect parent to their child, might make me a nightmare to mine and vice versa. I believe as long as the basic emotions and principles are in place, one is usually on the right track. Coming back to the point of it all, what defines pushing, too much, too little or just right? What is needed by a child, what is not, and where do we draw the line? Its not easy to decide, and its not for any book(or website) to tell.
As a child I was pushed too much, the GP, not at all. We both turned out averagely OK, but I think, I spent most of my initial years, doing things that did not genuinely interest me, nor did I have a true aptitude for it. Case in point being sports. I was quite a fanatic as a child. I stayed up late nights during the football world cups, went crazy during cricket matches, and pretty much scheduled everything around the tennis Grand Slams. And today, I don't even know all of the Indian cricket team. No one pushed me to love sports, but just living in a household that lived and breathed it, I took it in, I left the house, and suddenly sports interested me, not one little bit. This is not to say, that parenting has no part to play, it is to say, that the likes, dislikes, passions of parents will definitely influence their child, maybe even for life, but somethings just remain till they remain under the direct influence of the parents. Eventually, we all move on, to or with things that really and truly interest us. Or maybe its just me.
Its just recently that a very dear friend of mine, who is a life coach, did my personality analysis, without a charge, while it is infact a part of her professional services, and we discovered, that my personality type happens to be one of the rarest. Which either means I am extra special(I am sticking with that one), or I am a nut case. Well actually neither, it just means I am who I am. I loved bits of the description about the personality type, and it made so so much sense to me. Let me digress, and share this. It said , 'You are not so much party-poopers, as you are pooped by the party'. Can't even begin to describe how true that rings for me. I love people, friends, and all, and yet a huge group of people in a social scenario scares me. I am great with people I connect with, and they just cannot believe that I am not so great with general social interactions, but I just am not. Oh! that analysis, and the description of my personality type, just made me realise I am not such an oddball after all. When I was sitting and discussing this with the lady who did the analysis, she herself one of the not-so-common-types, said, 'It really makes a lot of sense doesn't it, and it makes us realise, we are not aliens, in this race of people, just different.' How true. But coming back to the parenting aspect of it, what would have been good parenting for a person like me? Could what's described in the books work for someone like me?
The point being what to do we encourage, in our children, where do we push, and where do we stop, and where do we just let them be. Its a very tough, very difficult choice, and I think it gets even more difficult when we have more than one child. It would be so so so tough to recognise the separate needs of multiple kids, and treat them according to their own sensibilities. But here again, I contradict my own beliefs.
I believe every individual has their own aptitude, and there is that something special for everyone of us. And it is foolish to generalise that. Because we need all kinds for the world to live and continue. the soldiers are needed as much as the doctors, the musicians are needed as much as the engineers, and it is but foolish if we prefer one over the other, and force the choice, or direct our children in that direction. And when we impose nothing on our children, we let them find their own way, find what is their true calling. I believe the most important ingredients in bringing up a child, are
I might be an oddity, but I have no big dreams for the BB, atleast not yet. I have no visions of him being a great scientist/astronaut/ player/author/actor/poet or anything at all. I just hope that he is happy, all his life. And hopefully he will find the path that leads him to his own happiness. I hope I can as a parent equip him with the tools he requires to find that. I am more likely to be the parent who does not push the child at all, rather than the ones who push too much. And that is primarily because, I want my child to find his own way, and also because I was pushed way too much, as child myself, and that makes me feel like I lost so so many precious years, following a dream that was not mine, and could never had made me happy, years that were the best time to concentrate on gaining skills or an education to equip me to follow the path my heart leads me to.
I don't know, if I have made any sense at all in this post, but it was more of a clearing up my own thoughts and trying to articulate, those that I feel but cannot express in words. I believe truly that each individual has that something special in them, and each one will follow their heart, and true calling. And I believe that every parent should, let their child/ren find what makes them tick, and to the best of their ability nurture their child to follow that, no matter how similar or different it is from their own. And that is also because I don't believe any child is born with the natural instinct to kill, hurt or do other evil acts, those are always and but always ones that they learn from the people around them.
I did not want to be a pushy mother, but at the same time, did not want to ‘not push her enough’, if you know what I mean.And that is where I agree with her the most, and yet suddenly seemed to have found a different line of thought altogether on that, after contemplating on what I read in that post. Sometimes contemplation, actually helps me find words to my thoughts, to actually articulate my abstract thoughts and concepts more concretely.
Parenting is a difficult task, to put it mildly. It needs balance, focus, alertness, and mostly great strength to stick to my guns, in the toughest times. I am nowhere near being the perfect parent, I am too aware of my flaws and shortcomings to claim that. But somewhere along the line I have also come to realise, there is no fixed definition of the perfect parent either, because each child is different, and comes with different needs, likes and dislikes. What makes someone a perfect parent to their child, might make me a nightmare to mine and vice versa. I believe as long as the basic emotions and principles are in place, one is usually on the right track. Coming back to the point of it all, what defines pushing, too much, too little or just right? What is needed by a child, what is not, and where do we draw the line? Its not easy to decide, and its not for any book(or website) to tell.
As a child I was pushed too much, the GP, not at all. We both turned out averagely OK, but I think, I spent most of my initial years, doing things that did not genuinely interest me, nor did I have a true aptitude for it. Case in point being sports. I was quite a fanatic as a child. I stayed up late nights during the football world cups, went crazy during cricket matches, and pretty much scheduled everything around the tennis Grand Slams. And today, I don't even know all of the Indian cricket team. No one pushed me to love sports, but just living in a household that lived and breathed it, I took it in, I left the house, and suddenly sports interested me, not one little bit. This is not to say, that parenting has no part to play, it is to say, that the likes, dislikes, passions of parents will definitely influence their child, maybe even for life, but somethings just remain till they remain under the direct influence of the parents. Eventually, we all move on, to or with things that really and truly interest us. Or maybe its just me.
Its just recently that a very dear friend of mine, who is a life coach, did my personality analysis, without a charge, while it is infact a part of her professional services, and we discovered, that my personality type happens to be one of the rarest. Which either means I am extra special(I am sticking with that one), or I am a nut case. Well actually neither, it just means I am who I am. I loved bits of the description about the personality type, and it made so so much sense to me. Let me digress, and share this. It said , 'You are not so much party-poopers, as you are pooped by the party'. Can't even begin to describe how true that rings for me. I love people, friends, and all, and yet a huge group of people in a social scenario scares me. I am great with people I connect with, and they just cannot believe that I am not so great with general social interactions, but I just am not. Oh! that analysis, and the description of my personality type, just made me realise I am not such an oddball after all. When I was sitting and discussing this with the lady who did the analysis, she herself one of the not-so-common-types, said, 'It really makes a lot of sense doesn't it, and it makes us realise, we are not aliens, in this race of people, just different.' How true. But coming back to the parenting aspect of it, what would have been good parenting for a person like me? Could what's described in the books work for someone like me?
The point being what to do we encourage, in our children, where do we push, and where do we stop, and where do we just let them be. Its a very tough, very difficult choice, and I think it gets even more difficult when we have more than one child. It would be so so so tough to recognise the separate needs of multiple kids, and treat them according to their own sensibilities. But here again, I contradict my own beliefs.
I believe every individual has their own aptitude, and there is that something special for everyone of us. And it is foolish to generalise that. Because we need all kinds for the world to live and continue. the soldiers are needed as much as the doctors, the musicians are needed as much as the engineers, and it is but foolish if we prefer one over the other, and force the choice, or direct our children in that direction. And when we impose nothing on our children, we let them find their own way, find what is their true calling. I believe the most important ingredients in bringing up a child, are
- an environment with abundant and unconditional love.
- teaching through conduct of vales and principles that make a good person.
- and imparting them with the desire to look beyond the mundane, and expect more than money and material things from this life.
I might be an oddity, but I have no big dreams for the BB, atleast not yet. I have no visions of him being a great scientist/astronaut/ player/author/actor/poet or anything at all. I just hope that he is happy, all his life. And hopefully he will find the path that leads him to his own happiness. I hope I can as a parent equip him with the tools he requires to find that. I am more likely to be the parent who does not push the child at all, rather than the ones who push too much. And that is primarily because, I want my child to find his own way, and also because I was pushed way too much, as child myself, and that makes me feel like I lost so so many precious years, following a dream that was not mine, and could never had made me happy, years that were the best time to concentrate on gaining skills or an education to equip me to follow the path my heart leads me to.
I don't know, if I have made any sense at all in this post, but it was more of a clearing up my own thoughts and trying to articulate, those that I feel but cannot express in words. I believe truly that each individual has that something special in them, and each one will follow their heart, and true calling. And I believe that every parent should, let their child/ren find what makes them tick, and to the best of their ability nurture their child to follow that, no matter how similar or different it is from their own. And that is also because I don't believe any child is born with the natural instinct to kill, hurt or do other evil acts, those are always and but always ones that they learn from the people around them.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Why Do You Want It?
Money, that what I am talking about here. Do you want money for the sake of money, or for the comforts or security or whatever else it can afford you? Different people want it for different reasons, and those reasons float around aplenty, and vary greatly too. Some cannot hold onto it for too long, its gone as soon as it reaches them, others, value it more than their own life, and keep it stowed away safely, pinching every penny that's spent. Some have less than what they need, some have way too much. And there are a very very fortunate few I believe who have just as much as they need.
Whatever it is, there are few who escape the charm of money. Is money evil, like a few people claim it is, like the ones who renounce all the charms of the world and go on to attain enlightenment? I don't think so, money like friction, I believe is a necessary evil. We need it, to live in the world, and yet its easy to fall for its charms and lust for it. I was similarly talking about the Internet, with a lovely philosophical friend of mine recently. She does not use the Internet much, except for the essential needs,(much unlike an addict like me) and is wary of how it can be quite a deep dark hole. And while talking to her, I realised, the Internet, is to us what we make of it. For me, its a way to stay in touch with friends, mainly, sometimes pick up bits of information, reading a few blogs, and ofcourse, using Google when I am stuck with pretty much anything. And it was while talking to her, that I realised it myself, and told her, that e-mails, and social networking websites are such an easy and wonderful way to be a part of the ongoings of the life of my friends, who live in time zones, which are almost the exact reverse of my own, and phone conversations or even skype calls, are pretty much impossible to schedule. To me the Internet is a friend, a boon. But then I digress.
So what about money? Just like the Internet, I think it is what we perceive it to be, how and why we want it. I fear developing too much of an affection for money, one where, I want money just for the sake of it being money. I fear becoming a miser, developing a love for money, I fear becoming a slave to it, like I see so many around me are. No there is no denying that I do need money, enough to keep my family and me happy, and definitely that requires more than just basic food, and clothes. But I want to draw the line at that, and not let it engulf my being. It scares me, when I see people like that, completely enamoured by money,people who want it, and love it so much, they have become a slave to it. I hope I always have enough, sense and wits about me, not to fall prey to the entrapment of money in that way. I hope I always, have a bit to spare for the one who needs it more than me, enough to provide for food, shelter, clothing and security for the three of us and not much more, because that may just make me want some more. Somehow, when I think of what I want, its never the money, but some thing that I fancy, a trip, or a meal or something like that but never money itself. There is very little I have ever saved and kept away, I know its not a very responsible thing to do, as a mother, but somehow I don't think I have the mind set to do it. My extravagance has toned down considerably over the years, once the initial rush of having my own money subsided. I in no way discount, they security a huge bank balance affords the owner, but somehow, the idea of having money for the sake of money, just does not make sense to me. Isn't that the cause of all the financial inequalities in the world today?
Tell me, do you fancy money? Why do you fancy it, what does it mean to you? Is it a subtle sense of comfort or the prime motive of your existence? What does money mean to you?
Whatever it is, there are few who escape the charm of money. Is money evil, like a few people claim it is, like the ones who renounce all the charms of the world and go on to attain enlightenment? I don't think so, money like friction, I believe is a necessary evil. We need it, to live in the world, and yet its easy to fall for its charms and lust for it. I was similarly talking about the Internet, with a lovely philosophical friend of mine recently. She does not use the Internet much, except for the essential needs,(much unlike an addict like me) and is wary of how it can be quite a deep dark hole. And while talking to her, I realised, the Internet, is to us what we make of it. For me, its a way to stay in touch with friends, mainly, sometimes pick up bits of information, reading a few blogs, and ofcourse, using Google when I am stuck with pretty much anything. And it was while talking to her, that I realised it myself, and told her, that e-mails, and social networking websites are such an easy and wonderful way to be a part of the ongoings of the life of my friends, who live in time zones, which are almost the exact reverse of my own, and phone conversations or even skype calls, are pretty much impossible to schedule. To me the Internet is a friend, a boon. But then I digress.
So what about money? Just like the Internet, I think it is what we perceive it to be, how and why we want it. I fear developing too much of an affection for money, one where, I want money just for the sake of it being money. I fear becoming a miser, developing a love for money, I fear becoming a slave to it, like I see so many around me are. No there is no denying that I do need money, enough to keep my family and me happy, and definitely that requires more than just basic food, and clothes. But I want to draw the line at that, and not let it engulf my being. It scares me, when I see people like that, completely enamoured by money,people who want it, and love it so much, they have become a slave to it. I hope I always have enough, sense and wits about me, not to fall prey to the entrapment of money in that way. I hope I always, have a bit to spare for the one who needs it more than me, enough to provide for food, shelter, clothing and security for the three of us and not much more, because that may just make me want some more. Somehow, when I think of what I want, its never the money, but some thing that I fancy, a trip, or a meal or something like that but never money itself. There is very little I have ever saved and kept away, I know its not a very responsible thing to do, as a mother, but somehow I don't think I have the mind set to do it. My extravagance has toned down considerably over the years, once the initial rush of having my own money subsided. I in no way discount, they security a huge bank balance affords the owner, but somehow, the idea of having money for the sake of money, just does not make sense to me. Isn't that the cause of all the financial inequalities in the world today?
Tell me, do you fancy money? Why do you fancy it, what does it mean to you? Is it a subtle sense of comfort or the prime motive of your existence? What does money mean to you?
Friday, December 3, 2010
Huh?
Had to share it here, before I forget all about it. The GP met an interesting personality at his new workplace. the experience is his, but it was too 'special' to not mention here, for a few laughs!
An Indian man, who has been in Australia for over six years now, is working in the same office, as the GP. They were attending a meeting together, which included lunch and drinks. In a room full of people, during lunch, he asks the GP, about his detailed whereabouts, which city in India, what language and more. He then, once again in loud tones, enquires about the GP's visa status, how he came to Australia and more, and people I am just keeping it short here, but believe me, it was an in depth public interrogation, which also included queries about his current pay package, perks and more. The GP managed to escape, and was talking to the others, with a drink in his hand, when Mr.'I-am-from-India', turns up again. And this is what I think was the highlight, that had me burst out laughing, when the GP narrated it to me, but I can only imagine how mortifying it might have been for him at that point.
(*X & Y are 2 men from India, unknown to the GP who work in the same office.)
I don't know how the GP escaped that. I think he must have been quite red-faced!
So all you people, who truly belong to India(read, those who don't drink alcohol), please raise your hands here.
An Indian man, who has been in Australia for over six years now, is working in the same office, as the GP. They were attending a meeting together, which included lunch and drinks. In a room full of people, during lunch, he asks the GP, about his detailed whereabouts, which city in India, what language and more. He then, once again in loud tones, enquires about the GP's visa status, how he came to Australia and more, and people I am just keeping it short here, but believe me, it was an in depth public interrogation, which also included queries about his current pay package, perks and more. The GP managed to escape, and was talking to the others, with a drink in his hand, when Mr.'I-am-from-India', turns up again. And this is what I think was the highlight, that had me burst out laughing, when the GP narrated it to me, but I can only imagine how mortifying it might have been for him at that point.
Him -(Pointing at the glass in the GP's hand and loudly) You drink alcohol?
GP - (nods quietly)
Him - Oh! But people from India don't usually drink alcohol. X,Y* and myself, we don't drink alcohol.
I don't know how the GP escaped that. I think he must have been quite red-faced!
So all you people, who truly belong to India(read, those who don't drink alcohol), please raise your hands here.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
The One Which Is Actually A Mail
I have been wanting to post, and mail about the move, to all my friends and readers. And I thought, since its basically the same stuff, I will just use it in both the places. Yes, I am now safely in Brisbane, in a serviced apartment, while the GP is off to his first day at work, at yet another new place. Strange how for 6 years he stayed with the same organisation, but has been changing his work place each year since the last three. Anyway, so I mailed, my friends in Melbourne about the move, and I am just representing the mail out here, to all of you. Will just link up the blog friend, here, who has been a total pillar in my existence in Melbourne.
Hi Melbourne!
How are you doing? Do you miss me? I miss you terribly, bad climatic conditions included. I am mailing it out to the whole lot of my Melbourne friends, so please excuse the lack of personal queries about your well being. But this is addressed to my very very dear friends, and I would love to know about how you are doing. (And i need updates on how the quit-smoking program is working out, from the ones on it!! STAY ON COURSE.)
Well, the last few days were quite crazy and hectic, what else is to be expected, when I am moving out of a city, with a kid in tow, and the move includes a couple of nights in a hotel, and then another month and a half in a serviced apartment... I just did not know how to pack, what to pack, and what to send with the packers! But anyways things got done, and on Wednesday, the 24th morning, once the packing was done, I headed off to my last shift at the WIRE phone-room.( I feel really sad, not going there today.... breaks my heart, with the reality of the fact, that I have actually ceased to be an active part, of what was the start of a wonderful journey for me, hopefully one that continues throughout my lifetime. I miss you WIRE, the work you enabled me to do, and the wonderful friends you gave me.) It was a great shift, infact one of my best there, and that is a lot due to the wonderful ladies I had working with me on that shift. :) Thursday was moving of the stuff, us shifting to the hotel and such... The hotel, people, was the one right next door, so made it easy to monitor the ongoings at home, while shifting our luggage there. That day the house, which had become home over the past 11 months, became bare, the carpet was cleaned, I scrubbed and cleaned every available surface, for the inspection, and my little boy, just hung around watching. I need to tell you how wonderful the BB been through all of it, very sporting, no tantrums, no craziness. At the end of the day however, after the carpet was cleaned, we had no place to even sit on, and that was when he asked me to get the bed from the truck. Moved into the hotel soon enough, and at night, he wanted to go home to the bed. I had not the heart to explain to him, that we were not without a home, and would be thus, for a while. He was uncomfortable bathing in the hotel room, but did it anyways without much fussing. and so on.
By Friday evening however, it felt like Melbourne was ready to throw us out. We did not find a decent place to eat at Lygon Street, not that we knew of too many nice ones anyway... but.... Just shows, its not always a great idea to try out new, unknown places. We were tiered to the bone, when we reached back at night... exhausted with the past few days of work, and exertion. I had barely slept 3-4 hours a night, the past few days. And so we decided to just crash on the bed, and sleep till as long as we could, since our flight to Brisbane was in the afternoon on Saturday. Left the packing and locking of suitcases to the morning. BIG MISTAKE! While deep in slumber, the room-phone rang. It was the reception calling to say the check-out time was 10:30 and it was infact 10:30 right then. Jumped out of the bed, packed as quickly as we could and left. Fortunately, managed to catch an earlier flight. Things went well from there on. The flight was nice, got our rent-a-car conveniently at the airport, and were in our current abode, within an hour and a half of landing. The weather was gorgeous. Bright and sunny, yet a nice cool breeze blowing. Wow! I loved it. I haven't any photos of the place yet, because I am yet to pull my camera out of the bag, so sorry about that. We are living just across the Brisbane river, and its simply gorgeous.:) The whole walk-way along the river, is so so beautiful.
My initial impression of this place is, that its more laid back than Melbourne. There are no Coles or other supermarkets, that are open 24X7, in fact the lady at the register, at the Coles Express we had been to, to get some milk and bread, asked us if we had come from Melbourne, since, the stores are open all day(and night) long there. People are well dressed, but not as well as those in Melbourne. We are looking for a house, ofcourse, may take a while to find one, that we love though. Its no help that we know absolutely no one in this city, and that makes me miss Melbourne, with the wonderful set of friends I had formed there, even more. You were the ones who guided me around the streets, the public transport, the shops and more. The ones, who showed me around, and were always there when I needed anything, even to just talk my heart out. The ones who helped me with understanding the culture, the people and the way of life, and taught me not to take things personally. The ones, who inspired me to develop a more charitable, altruistic outlook towards life, and helped me become a part of FOK(Friends Of Kolkata ). And the ones, who helped me understand myself better! I was really sad about leaving Melbourne, mainly because that meant leaving these wonderful friends behind, and also quitting WIRE, which means a lot to me. But then someone in the phone-room, said to me, 'Always remember Melbourne(and WIRE) for giving you direction.' and that is exactly how I wish to remember it, as my starting point. I will miss you, but then I am always just a mail or call away....and that means, I will never really lose my lovely friends.
Visit us soon, as soon as we get a place to live in, and settle down.
Hugs and Smiles,
GM
PS - The house inspection went really well. The agent, thought we had hired professional cleaners for the job. :D Yes I think I may just be ready for trying out a new profession here! ;)
How are you doing? Do you miss me? I miss you terribly, bad climatic conditions included. I am mailing it out to the whole lot of my Melbourne friends, so please excuse the lack of personal queries about your well being. But this is addressed to my very very dear friends, and I would love to know about how you are doing. (And i need updates on how the quit-smoking program is working out, from the ones on it!! STAY ON COURSE.)
Well, the last few days were quite crazy and hectic, what else is to be expected, when I am moving out of a city, with a kid in tow, and the move includes a couple of nights in a hotel, and then another month and a half in a serviced apartment... I just did not know how to pack, what to pack, and what to send with the packers! But anyways things got done, and on Wednesday, the 24th morning, once the packing was done, I headed off to my last shift at the WIRE phone-room.( I feel really sad, not going there today.... breaks my heart, with the reality of the fact, that I have actually ceased to be an active part, of what was the start of a wonderful journey for me, hopefully one that continues throughout my lifetime. I miss you WIRE, the work you enabled me to do, and the wonderful friends you gave me.) It was a great shift, infact one of my best there, and that is a lot due to the wonderful ladies I had working with me on that shift. :) Thursday was moving of the stuff, us shifting to the hotel and such... The hotel, people, was the one right next door, so made it easy to monitor the ongoings at home, while shifting our luggage there. That day the house, which had become home over the past 11 months, became bare, the carpet was cleaned, I scrubbed and cleaned every available surface, for the inspection, and my little boy, just hung around watching. I need to tell you how wonderful the BB been through all of it, very sporting, no tantrums, no craziness. At the end of the day however, after the carpet was cleaned, we had no place to even sit on, and that was when he asked me to get the bed from the truck. Moved into the hotel soon enough, and at night, he wanted to go home to the bed. I had not the heart to explain to him, that we were not without a home, and would be thus, for a while. He was uncomfortable bathing in the hotel room, but did it anyways without much fussing. and so on.
By Friday evening however, it felt like Melbourne was ready to throw us out. We did not find a decent place to eat at Lygon Street, not that we knew of too many nice ones anyway... but.... Just shows, its not always a great idea to try out new, unknown places. We were tiered to the bone, when we reached back at night... exhausted with the past few days of work, and exertion. I had barely slept 3-4 hours a night, the past few days. And so we decided to just crash on the bed, and sleep till as long as we could, since our flight to Brisbane was in the afternoon on Saturday. Left the packing and locking of suitcases to the morning. BIG MISTAKE! While deep in slumber, the room-phone rang. It was the reception calling to say the check-out time was 10:30 and it was infact 10:30 right then. Jumped out of the bed, packed as quickly as we could and left. Fortunately, managed to catch an earlier flight. Things went well from there on. The flight was nice, got our rent-a-car conveniently at the airport, and were in our current abode, within an hour and a half of landing. The weather was gorgeous. Bright and sunny, yet a nice cool breeze blowing. Wow! I loved it. I haven't any photos of the place yet, because I am yet to pull my camera out of the bag, so sorry about that. We are living just across the Brisbane river, and its simply gorgeous.:) The whole walk-way along the river, is so so beautiful.
My initial impression of this place is, that its more laid back than Melbourne. There are no Coles or other supermarkets, that are open 24X7, in fact the lady at the register, at the Coles Express we had been to, to get some milk and bread, asked us if we had come from Melbourne, since, the stores are open all day(and night) long there. People are well dressed, but not as well as those in Melbourne. We are looking for a house, ofcourse, may take a while to find one, that we love though. Its no help that we know absolutely no one in this city, and that makes me miss Melbourne, with the wonderful set of friends I had formed there, even more. You were the ones who guided me around the streets, the public transport, the shops and more. The ones, who showed me around, and were always there when I needed anything, even to just talk my heart out. The ones who helped me with understanding the culture, the people and the way of life, and taught me not to take things personally. The ones, who inspired me to develop a more charitable, altruistic outlook towards life, and helped me become a part of FOK(Friends Of Kolkata
Visit us soon, as soon as we get a place to live in, and settle down.
Hugs and Smiles,
GM
PS - The house inspection went really well. The agent, thought we had hired professional cleaners for the job. :D Yes I think I may just be ready for trying out a new profession here! ;)
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