I Am A Bigotted Racist..... And Why Not?

When you step out of your house, with or without a child, the perception of you varies widely. I have experienced it, in ways that have surprised me after becoming a mother. Unknown people will smile at me, help me, or just generally be nice when I go out with the BB. I have always smiled and cooed with babies I have met in malls/shops or streets. I enjoy being with babies, way too much, so maybe it was just me. But the BB came along and I realised that people are usually nice to babies, at least in India they are. I can go on to my theory of positive and negative energies here, and tell you, that people love babies, because of the absolute positivity that flows out of their innocent, precious souls. But I will let that be for now.

When we go out, and people play with the BB, I just let it be, some one would just run their hand through his hair, or just touch his cheeks as he runs around, and I let it be, because I see them as gestures of love. And I know for sure that had I been living in India, these happenings would be a lot more frequent and more vigorous. This place however is crazy land. To explain the title of my post, I am sick of the Arabic women in scarves, their rude, ill mannered, and disgusting behaviour. The men not so much, because I have come across nicer ones more than the mean b****** the women are. But the women are invariably the ones one should be aware of and ignore and avoid. I am still to really lose it, and abuse them in the face once, but I have definitely have had enough of their disgusting behaviour.

They either feel they are a higher race, are supremely arrogant, plain fools or just uncultured,uncouth louts unfit for civilised society. Whatever it is, they are all equally disgusting. And if saying that makes me a racist, so be it, but I stick to my opinion. This place is know for its racism, They literally adore anyone in white skin, and treat the rest with disdain. Even raffle coupons at malls, need your nationality in its details. I wounder how my nationality affects a lottery result, or their ability to inform me, in case I win. Oh! And when the DH returned from his Australia trip this time, he received a very warm welcome at the immigration, with smiles and wishes, something that never ever happens when traveling to or from India may I say. Coming back to the issue, I hate these women, and now follow a blanket rule to be simply blind to them.

Coming from India, where people are exceptionally warm to children, the initial experiences here, really put me off, till I realised that these women are bred to be such fools. Just the other day, we came back home in the evening, and entered the reception of our building. There stood a woman in a scarf with a man, and a child of about two in a pram. The BB being, what he is, ran to the kid. I smiled at the woman, as usually parents mutually do, and the expression on her face put me off so bad. I wondered if she was worried the BB might hurt the kid, so I pulled him away, and the BB enthusiastically waved a bye to the kid, and kept turning back, while we walked towards the elevators. I too said bye, to join in with him, and turned back, and it was then that I saw the expression on that b****** face that actually pissed me off. I just walked away of course, and was happy at not having reacted, and been a bad influence for the BB, but if I had the power I would have clubbed her head. Not just her, but all those women like her, the ones in scarves.

I have had so many such experiences with these women, that I really wonder if they are worthy of civilised society, have they been brainwashed, or are they just that way? I have not met one, and I say this clearly, not one single Arabic woman with a shred of decency. Living here has tarred there image in my heart forever. Never again in my life will I look at these women free of prejudice. For that matter I hope I never see much of them. I hold a strong dislike and bitterness against them, and I have good enough reasons for doing so. I never believe in generalising, but at some point, where I have had enough experiences of similar kinds, that is the only way to face what may lie ahead. I don't expect everyone out there to come cootchie coo with my son, but being mean and making faces to a child, where do these people get that from? Just want to ask, what did you mother/father/culture teach you?

Maybe they are filled with misdirected hatred, or are brainwashed racists, or whatever else, I have no good thoughts for these women nor a desire to give them an opportunity to prove themselves better in anyway, left in my heart. I have made my judgment, and I am sticking to it. And while at it, I am passing on some free advice too, stay away from Arabic women in scarves people, they are uncivilised, rude and simply disgusting. Will I pay them back in their same coin, maybe not, because I don't want to be what they are, but I really don't know how to explain this to the BB, without tainting his innocent soul. Oh! A world this prejudiced and hateful does not deserve these innocent little babies, it just simply does not. I wonder if those women actually train their children to be just as prejudiced and hateful too. And how is it even possible to be rude a child is absolutely beyond my comprehension.

Are You Ready To Be A Blogger?

Does criticism bother us a lot more than appreciation makes us happy? I really do wonder. Rude and criticism ridden comments on our blog really get to us. They solicit more reactions and time from the blogger than the nice, appreciative comments do. Some bloggers, simply don't publish the rude comments, and that is their way of dealing with it. But most of us do get bothered.

It is quite simple, most of the bloggers write about their lives, activities, emotions, their loved ones. And it is not easy to take criticism on any of those counts. But the deal is simple, owning a public blog simply means, anyone in the world can read every word of what we publish. And we need to remember that with every post we publish. From my personal experience I can say, as we spend more time blogging, we lose more and more of our inhibitions about opening up. As we put forth more and more of our self on the blog, the more vulnerable we get to attacks.

I have been very fortunate, to not have been picked on by people on my blog, or maybe I am way too boring for people to criticise, or maybe I have limited readership, and the few who comment out of them are friends, whatever the reason, I have not faced the real brunt of it. But what if I wrote a post on how the BB is an amazing child, and someone left a comment saying something rude on that post. It would indeed hurt, I know. And what would I do then? Being in the objective position that I am in at this point, I think I would need to remind myself that indeed anyone can read and have their say on any of my posts. And if I cannot deal with someone reacting negatively, maybe I should not have displayed to the entire world, a part of myself that is vulnerable to hurt and pain. But then, what would my blog contain, just some abstract thoughts, or philosophical ideas that have nothing to do with my personal life? Could be, if I enjoyed that kind of blogging, but I don't. My blog is about more than just my ideas, it is about my life, the incidents that occur in it, my emotions and more. My blog is anonymous, which means, I don't share it with most people I know in real life. I shifted to a new blog a couple of months back, and among all other reasons, was also the reason that I wanted to lose some extremely pesky relatives people who were following the old blog, and basically using the posts from there in anyway they could, to create trouble for me. After a couple of experiences my writing became very controlled, and I did not write as freely as I would have liked to. So there I had my bad experience, which did not even come in the form of a comment, and I responded by escaping.

When writing posts about personal issues, topics that are close to our hearts or sensitive issues, we need to forever remember that when putting it on a blog, it is equivalent to shouting the thing out on a crowded railway platform. Anybody, simply anybody could read it. How calmly would we discuss such topics with people we don't really trust in person. Some things, we do not share, even with our closest friends is it not? And yet we put it on our blog. A big thing which lets me do it, is my anonymity. Personally I could never blog as freely as I do now, if I did it with my name up front. The veil of anonymity makes it easier to share, write, tell. But even if anonymous, I need to remember, that not everyone reading this blog is a person who would agree with me, and at anytime, can come up with a cruel remark or comment. And it would not hurt less because the commentator, does not know my real name.

Another issue that crops up with blogging is that readers assume a familiarity, we may not be comfortable with. It is a bit like being a celebrity. If I spot Tom Cruise on the street, I get the feeling of seeing someone I know, not just because I have seen his movies, but also because there is a lot I know about him, his family, his kids, wives, even marital woes and more. And that would give me a false sense of familiarity, and being a fan, I may try to express it. Tom Cruise on the other hand would simply flee, because he does not know I exist on this planet. Happens with bloggers too. If you read someone's blog long enough, a feeling of familiarity creeps up, which is not felt by the blogger herself, and when the reader communicates with the blogger, it is with that illusion of familiarity, which the blogger herself does not feel, and that can get uncomfortable. So if I am talking about my insecurities about my in-laws on my blog, a reader I don't know, can easily comment on that in a way which comes naturally to them through their feeling of familiarity, from reading my blog long enough, but it totally blows me off. And somehow neither seem to be doing the wrong thing in this case.

Bloggers are judged by the readers. Always and but always. There is no escaping that. Again its a follow-on of the pseudo celebrity-like familiarity. Everyone has an opinion on Amitabh Bachhan. Some good, and some not so much. Similarly for every blog, it is natural to expect that not everyone reading it would have a good opinion about it. And as the posts get personal, the judgment shifts onto the blogger from just the blog. Be prepared blogger, because the world is not made of just roses, but comes with its share of thorns too.

All of these are simple trappings of having a public blog, just as there are trappings of being a celebrity. A recent conversation with a blogger friend, who was upset with condescending comments on her blog, led me onto tell her the exact same things. It happens. There was a fiasco in the blog world a while back, and pretty much everyone had an opinion, me included. While discussing the issue with someone, she asked me, "What is the need for people who are not involved to have opinions?" It is simple enough, when there is a fight between SRK and Salman Khan, don't most of us have our opinions on it?

Addendum - Do read the latest post by Monika, who blogs with her own name, and was recognised by strangers in a mall. Indeed how would I react to some stranger coming up to me on the street and saying, Ah! yes, I know the BB loves wearing your necklaces. It would definitely freak me out. What about you? A danger of putting up too many personal things on a public space?

The Comfort Blanket

The BB, has never needed a comfort blanket. there is no object or toy he is particularly attached to that he seeks comfort from. Though my mind was filled with pictures of babies hugging soft toys, and I got them aplenty for the BB, he never got interested in them. Of late though, the BB goes to bed with some comfort items of his own. They are not the same each day, but vary, based on his mood.

My box of sugar from the kitchen, he would not let go of, and I finally pried it out of his hands after he fell asleep, only after clicking a few photos though.

His favourite pals of late, the multi pin, my phone charger and the laptop cord.

There have been objects like kitchen ladles, and the cooking wok too, but I have no photos of them. I will have so much fun showing these photos to him, when grows up.

And Baby When You'Re Gone

The DH is traveling. His is half way across the globe from me right now, and I am definitely not liking it. And so here I am dedicating to him one of teenage favourites.



Now, I feel better having seen Bryan Adams, how can I possibly not? I think he was one of my first crushes, and definitely the crooner who lived with me through my teenage. However those are days of the past, and I am an old old hag, accompanied by creaking joints and everything. And the man in my life is the DH. I miss him so bad when he is away. He reminds me to water the plants, which are basically my plants, but he waters them each morning, because they thrive a lot better under his care. I have a few additional things to take care of, when he is not around. But, mostly I miss him not being home each night, and our absolutely silly conversations and the stupid movies he watches, and his fooling around with the BB, and preparing the salad, and..... well ok I simply miss him. Now hope he is back real, real soon.

Why My Men Are Important To Me

Late in the night, peaceful that the DH has reached his destination finally, I am finally able to do the post I have been wanting to, since last evening.
To say I am a happy person, would not be a very accurate statement. I have a happy disposition, but I also have a always-in-a-rush-never-relaxed mindset, so you cannot call me completely happy. I get upset easily, as I do get angry and hyper, while the DH (and hopefully the BB too) is my complete anti-thesis. He is hardly ever stressed out or worried, never rushed, he drops activities or even chores, if he feels like just lazing around and sleeping. I get all worked up about the things that need to be done, and so I neither rest nor work. And such things always lead to my getting all upset, because he is not up and about and doing things, while I am so tensed up about even the silly household chores. I want to reduce my stress levels and relax like he does, but I never really succeed.

And then when I end up wondering about all the ways in which we are complete opposites, and how did we fall for each other in the first place, there comes up a situation to tell me, just why it happened, and how much I need to be with this man. Yesterday we did our groceries in the evening, and got back home, looking for a parking spot. We spotted a nice one, and there was a Jeep there, with a driver, and we knew he was about to move, so we waited. And then all of a sudden, another car just comes up from our left, the Jeep moves, and this one gets parked. We realised immediately the man in the Jeep was holding the spot for the other car. I seethed I tell you. And then this girl got off the car, joined the man in the Jeep and off they went. I was angry, and said he cannot just hold a spot like that. And the DH was so zen, and smiling and saying , "Uski babe hai, uske liye toh parking spot dhoond ke rakhega hi na!"(That's his girlfriend, obviously he would save a parking spot for her). He was so cool and smiling, and I was so angry. And just then I knew if I had a husband, who would get angry at a situation like this too, that would just make it so bad for both of us, and here was the DH smiling and laughing about it, which calmed me down and my temper cooled down within a couple of minutes. Its so cool, having a hubby like him, especially for someone like me, who does not even need a proper reason to get worked up, and this man stays cool even under fire. I so so so need him.

Once back home, the BB had all his toys, colours, books, everything spread on the living room carpet and was making merry, when I had a sudden urge to check his height. I have this wall at home, where I make him stand and mark it with a pencil, and write the date of the marking. So it makes for an easy growth study. So I just took him, and one of his crayons to do the deed yesterday. Seeing me use the crayon on the wall, had his grey cells whirring, and he ran off to draw with it happily on the living room wall. I tried to persuade him not to do it, but then let it be after a while. So there they were happy red scribbles on the corner wall of the living room. Once done, the boy took his water colour box and rubbed it on the wall there to get rid of it, trying to rub it off. When all his efforts went in vain, he simply came to me and started howling. He did not want the mess, it had to go away. He took me to the corner, pointed at the scribbles and continued to howl. Now, this is distemper paint, I don't know if the crayon marking would go. I tried with a wet sponge, to no effect on the wall, but an increased decibel of howling. So I got an all purpose cleaner, sprayed it abundantly on the wall, and scrubbed real hard, and the crayon started to fade. After about a fifteen minute cleaning job I was done. Washed my hand, and sat down on the couch. The BB came into the room, looked at the corner, ran to me and just curled up into my lap. He said thank you to me in the sweetest way possible, by his act, he just hugged me and stayed curled up in my lap for a long long time. I cannot express in words here, how clearly his message touched my heart. He said it so wonderfully without words. Oh! My baby, you so make every effort worth a lot more than it really is.

So I ended the day very very pleased with both the men I have in my life, and knowing that I am a happier, and better person for them being mine.

Leaking Nose, Funny Doctor, Allergies and Medicines

Add to the mix some mind numbing television viewing, deep fried food and take away any form of calorie burning activity. That pretty much describes my life for the past few days. Started with a leaking nose and sneezing since Sunday, followed with a slight earache, which made me run to the doctor last evening. I just could not afford a repeat after the last time, the pain just gets unbearable, and with the BB to take care of, I just did not want to risk it.

Besides the pediatrician, for the BB, every other doctor I have met here, just seems so unbelievably incompetent compared to even a general physician in India, that I dread visiting them. The only thing these people want is to make money. If they think there is a problem with the liver, they will refer you to an ophthalmologist, just to make more money for the hospital, and tell you to visit them next only after at a fortnight, so that they can bill it under a fresh consultation. They are that kind of pathetic weird. And since I am bitching expressing my opinion about this place, let me add on the side, that this place has no sense of hygiene or organisation. The Buhaira Cornish, which is very close to home, and one of the main parks in the main city of Sharjah, is set around a sea inlet, and there is a constant inflow of sewage into the very part that forms the Cornish, from the city's gutters. During low tide, the stench and sights are quite disgusting to say the least. Let me not even go into why I am forced not to take the BB out each evening, like I would love to. Getting back to the original point, I visited an ENT specialist last evening, to get the ears looked into, before it could possibly get too painful. Excerpts from the conversation which flowed.

Doc - Does you throat hurt?
Me - No.
Doc - OK.
Me - So, do I have a cold or is it just an allergy?
Doc - Since your throat is not hurting, we can say it is an allergy.
Me - I am almost always having a slight irritation in the ear, is there anything I can do about it?
Doc - Take an anti-allergy pill, whenever you feel that way?
Me - (huh? which is practically everyday!!) What could be the possible cause of the allergy, since I am almost constantly facing this.
Doc - How can we say?
Me - (huh? then who can? Atleast give me some possible cause!!)
Later

Me - Is it advisable to use a mask if someone is traveling in the current situation?
Doc - (Looks surprised) I don't know. (Consults with the nurse in a regional Indian language and repeats) We have not been told, I don't know.
Me - (This takes the cake, definitely going up on my blog)

I asked her about the mask, because the GP is going to be traveling soon, and I thought it would be good to get some medical advice. But I obviously knocked on the wrong door. This doctor also has an entire collection of piercings available, so anyone looking to get an ear piercing, let me know, I will give you her details. And no, I am not over reacting, maybe I have been fortunate, but I have never come across such unbelievably incapable doctors in all my life in India. And trust me to know because I have been plagued by ill-health and jinxed with injuries since I was born, and have seen more than my fair share of doctors.

So I came back home, knowing I am down with another allergy attack, just like the many I have had since I got here and some medicines and sprays to stuff myself with. However, since Sunday, I have been vegetating, watching absolutely mindless television, eating food soaked in oil, and made with sugar. Doughnuts, samosas, kebabs, pakoras, name it and I am having it. I am allowed some self pity, when I am ill right, and eating fattening, unhealthy food is my favourite way of doing it. I am not working out at all, because I am supposed to rest when I am not feeling well, even if it is just an allergic reaction(this is the cue to every reader to offer sympathies, and tell me to rest some more). The walks I am not so sure I want to go again, especially with the sewage floating in the water around which lies my walking route. And till I can continue, to maintain this facade of illness, I will continue to watch TV nonstop (I don't need much of an excuse for that otherwise either) and generally enjoy inactivity. As an end note, there is grilled chicken for dinner tonight.

What I Took From This Weekend

This weekend, was a learning experience for me. Being the forgetful old hag I have become, I thought it best to write it down and record all my learning.

My little baby is growing up, he is no longer a baby, but a boy (and hiding from facts don't make them go away.) It has been that way for long, but I have been trying to avoid the truth, pretending that he is still a baby. But this weekend, he shoved the facts into my face when he showed me that he can sit on a kiddy swing, the ones without any harness or safety belts, with just the two iron chains on the side, and a curved rubber flap for a seat, and enjoy it. He laughs out his heart at every push which sends him hurtling forward and even dares to get off it on his own. He enjoys the slides, doing it all on his own. New things make him look at them and wonder, like a cawing crow or a running goose. He is brave but cautious, and fun but safe, well mostly.


This weekend, we had no plans in place. The mandatory grocery shopping for the week, was already done, since the DH comes home early these days. So here we were, the we-hate-being-at-home-on-weekends family, with two whole days in hand, and not a single plan in place. So after a lot of dawdling, we landed up in a park on Friday evening, and it was nice. We stopped there, because we were passing by and had nowhere else to go. Seems like sometimes impromptu happenings are the most fun. The BB enjoyed swings and slides, and I soaked in the greenery I had been so lusting for. Observed a few Iftaar parties in the park, got some photos, and moved out just as it started getting dark. The BB wanted to run wild, and we let him, the only place where we needed to get a hold of him, was when he ran towards the dried pond, lake or whatever water body like thing was there. Did I tell you, my boy simply loves water, in any form he sees it.

There was a crow sitting on one of the poles close to the slide. The BB just sat on the top of the slide, staring at the crow cawing, till it flew away. I can see he is already observing things, and that fills me with an immense sense of satisfaction. We just drove around Dubai after that, with the BB happily dozing in his car seat.

Saturday we saw penguins, seals and some more. Yes, we saw real, live penguins. An amazing aquarium and water-zoo at the Dubai Mall it was for us.

Can't help the cliche - 'Sealed With A Kiss'

The BB is a complete water baby. He absolutely loves water just like me, whether its a fountain, a fish tank or just a half dried lake. He enjoyed the aquarium, the water creatures, the small water fall, and even the artificial lakes created for the fountains there. Every time he so much as sees a hint of water, 'Atu, atu atu', goes the BB. (Atu is the way he says water). He keeps showing me, just how much like me he is. I just hopes he learns to swim though, something I never did.

He looooooooooooves water.

I am fatter, heavier and shorter than the DH, but at this point in time, I am also fitter than him. Yes indeed! Who would have thought that is even possible. After walking for a straight four hours(at a mall of course), I was still fine and raring to go, while the DH was down with aching legs. That I have a cold now, is not the right thing to be mentioned here.

Ramadan is not the time to go out without having your lunch, atleast not here. Not even by mistake. Take-aways are allowed, but one cannot even sip water in public. You cannot be seen eating anywhere, even you car, nowhere except in the confines of your home. It is forced fasting for pretty much everyone. Its strange seeing the deserted food courts on weekends, places that are usually brimming with people. And it is just not much fun, when we first eat, and go out with a full and heavy stomach, all drowsy.

This weekend, we went out without the stroller and now I know we can do it. I hate putting the BB in the stroller, it just feels so wrong to have him strapped up, while he can walk, run and make merry. It does make life easier for us though, because we don't need to keep running around behind him. But its so not fair. So this entire weekend, we did it without the stroller, though not in a planned way, but it just happened and I feel so happy about that. We were at the Dubai Mall for over four hours, and he walked tirelessly with us, refusing any offers to hop into our arms. These little boys have so much of energy, it is unbelievable. Even the DH was tiered by the end of it. It was only the last five minutes or so of our visit, while we were walking towards the parking lot, that he finally agreed to and settled into my arms.

The penguins and us. The BB was enamoured by them. And he let me carry him, just to get a better view.

This weekend, I attained a lot of enlightenment, and had fun on the side too. Such weekends, so make the week worth living through especially for a person like me who lives the week just to make it to the weekend.