Thursday, November 11, 2010

Of Lovely People I Shall Miss

It is really interesting to see, how a small change in mindset, brings in such a huge change in our lives. Fortunately for me its been a positive change, but it also makes me wonder what when the mind takes a negative turn. From the time the BB was born, I was terribly home-bound. Not a bad thing in itself, but somehow it lead to a huge amount of loneliness, and depression as time went by, and eventually culminated into frustration. Led to all kinds of addictions like the telly and the internet. And what are they but hollow pleasures that do nothing for the soul. And all this also meant there were many an unpleasant situation arising in my life, personal issues, unnecessary tensions, needless clashes with friends and family, bad health and more than anything else, always ending up surrounded by people, who had a toxic influence on my life. (And there is a reason why I use the word toxic here, and I will tell you about it soon enough.) I paid too much attention to the things that were wrong, and very little to the ones that were right. It had a ripple effect in every aspect of my life so to say. But since the past one year, things have been changing. I have found a new meaning of life, and everything that surrounds it. What began as a small step, that I took unknowingly, has cascaded into what now looks like a wonderful change in my life.

What was my first clue you may ask, well honestly, it never hit me till very recently, when I realised, what amazing friends, and people I will leave behind when I move now. Oh! wait, I forgot, I haven't blogged in so so long, that I have not said it here. Yes, we are nomads, its official. And so we are moving places. It has got to do something with the BB's astrological alignments, I believe, because he is yet to celebrate two consecutive birthdays in the same place. Yes, so I am blaming the moving around, all on him. So what if he is small, and cute, and immensely adorable. If I say its his fault, well then it IS! And fortunately its a domestic move this time, meaning we don't go out of the country, just yet, so Brisbane it is for us. I am looking forward to the warmer weather, and beautiful beaches already. The winters this year have been really tough for the BB, and now with spring, as prominent as it is here, the little thing is suffering from hay fever, and hopefully Brisbane will bring respite to all of that.

Now that I have told you about the moving again bit, let me go back to the original plot of this post. I was surprised at the fact that I had met more good people than bad in this place. That's a first in my life. I have more issues, of, why-do-I-need-to-meet-such-people-in-my-life, than moments of euphoria, at having met people I love. (I recently found out the reason for that too, atleast the technical one, which says, my personality type is one of the really rare ones, and hence me, and others like me often feel like aliens in the world. So true I tell you! Having it spelt out, just makes me feel so much better.) And so it has been a really amazing stay in Melbourne, and I am really blown away by all the wonderful, lovely inspiring people I have met here, and more importantly the really strong positive friendships I have formed, with people, who help me be a better person, people who have a positive influence on my life. And its difficult to describe in words just how much I will miss them all.

Yesterday, I had an afternoon shift at work(and what a shift it was, we had an old suicidal lady who called up towards the end of the day, fortunately, it was not me who took the call, and yet I was so stressed out towards the end of it.), and so I met up this wonderful lady, whom I had met at work for lunch before that. She was so immensely warm and welcoming, and I felt so wonderful to be around her. She runs her own business, and is now stepping into 'Life Coaching', which is about helping people reach their goals and fulfill their dreams, by understanding them, their personalities*, and then helping them work with their inherent skills, and around their obstacles. Its such a fascinating and fulfilling line of work. And unlike what I have seen of a lot of other professionals, she was so openly sharing her knowledge and tips with me. Its she who sent me questionnaires, to asses my personality, and encouraged the GP to fill in a copy too. She analysed both our personalities, and without any charges. And that touched me so much, because that is part of her professional service. And it turns out she and I have similar personalities, and so no wonder it was so easy to get along. At lunch yesterday, she spoke to me about what are the things that are my road blocks, and what I could do to overcome them. And it was then that she told me, that she uses a technique, where in she gets people to list the relationships they share with friends and family, in terms of those that are mutual, uplifting or toxic. And I realised how infact it would make such a huge impact, if we actually wrote it down on paper and knew what kind of influence we surround ourself with. It was fascinating to just listen to her, and get so many of the things that I felt were oddities in my nature, affirmed, as a part of my personality type by her. She is one of the many wonderful friends I will miss when I move.

The Diwali weekend infact ended, up being very very joyous, and yet a dampener in its own way. For dinner on Diwali, we had a couple come over. I met the girl, C during my training, and she was the one who introduced me to Friends Of Kolkata. So her partner M and she were over. They have both been to Kolkata a couple of times, and hence were looking forward to some Indian food. Made life a lot easier for me, to be very very honest. And it was wonderful to see them relish the meal. Now M and C are a part of a band, and are very musically inclined people. So after dinner C played us a lot of music on her brand new flute...... and we sat around chatted, laughed, and simply enjoyed ourselves till late in the night. The BB refused to go to sleep, and wanted to hang around his new friends. It was especially heartening for me to see the GP, be so open and friendly with people, he was meeting pretty much for the first time, considering how reserved and held back he usually is. It takes him ages to connect and open up to people.

And the very next day we were over for dinner at one of my friends from school, who did not really know too well in school, but we connected in some way in this far away land. And may I just say they are such a sweet and wonderful couple. It was so easy to settle in, no awkward pauses, no strange silences. They had the most adorable, young poodle,O and the BB has completely lost his heart to that thing. Every morning since then he wakes up and asks for O. And after spending the evening with them, where all of us so enjoyed ourselves, I felt really sad at having actually met them just a few weeks before I move away. And that is the reason its a damper, because I will not be around these people, all that much anymore.

Sunday was lunch treat at Trish's, and we reached terribly late, sorry again for that Trish. And had such a whale of a time. The BB and Aadi, actually went and hid behind the sofa to discuss secrets, which was just so cute. Wonder what secrets they have at such a young age! I will so miss not having Trish in the same city as me..... even though we don't end up meeting all that often, atleast the hope of it is always alive so far. And yes, she made some yummy kebabs for us!

And then there is T, another friend I made during my training, who studies philosophy, and speaks so eloquently of the abstract philosophies, thinks so deeply, and is such a beautiful person inside out. I will so miss meeting her every now and then, and discussing the spiritual and the abstract. How wonderful it is to have met so many positive, inspiring people in a span of less than a year. How often does that happen? But then I believe, that the kind of people we attract, is based on our own mindset. Just like so so many people call Melbourne racist, and while I had my initial doubts, they have all been totally washed away now. I have not met anyone who is racist here, nor experienced any behaviour, that I can label as being racist. So I guess its true, that the kind of energy, we radiate from ourselves, is the kind that comes back to us. And so its been a really wonderful and fulfilling time for me here, in terms of meeting wonderful and lovely people. And I will dearly miss them when I move.

On an aside, I scolded an Indian boy/young man on the street yesterday. I saw him throwing away a cigarette stub, on the busy sidewalk in the city, when the bin was less than 50 metres away. By natural instinct, I was upset, but walked away. But then it just did not feel right to walk away. So I walked back to him, and asked him, if he was from India. He was a bit hesitant, but replied in the affirmative. I then told him sternly, that it was really wrong, of him to do what he did, esp, when this is not his home country, and it gives a bad name to all Indians. I probably should have made him pick up the stub and throw it in the bin, but then I did not wish to create a scene. Its not right to dispose off rubbish irresponsibly anywhere at all, but when we are in a different country, our behaviour reflects back not only on ourselves, but on the rest of my country too, that is something one always needs to keep in mind. Unofficially, we become representatives of our family, organisation, school, university, country etc, when we step away from them, and hold them as part of our identity, and our public behaviour should always be a representation of that, and hence it becomes more important to behave better.

* The personality types, that I talk about are based on the Myer-Briggs type indicator. You can read about it in detail here. I am an INFJ.


Anonymous said...

wish you luck as you move again..quite a post GM... ah yes we all encounter toxic people and love the way you dealt with them..take care ..Hugs

Rakesh said...

Wow, sounds like you've been having such a stimulating time.

I'm sure you'll meet similar people in Brisbane too!

Sraboney said...

Brisbane should be good at least weather wise...BB can learn to surf...

D said...

Brisbane is closer to Gold Coast, and Gold Coast is bliss! So yayy!

dr.antony said...

Sunnier beaches anead !