Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Just Stop This Shit

Alert - may contain words and idea unsuitable for people under 18.

Clarification -I am not against homosexuality. It is the linking of people's name to it without a solid ground for it that is bothering me. In the post the words 'dirty' and 'disgusting' etc has been used for the mindset of people, and not about anyone's sexual preference at all.
I am sick of people not being able to think beyond sex and sexuality, and sexualising every damn thing they see. Tells me where the damn perverts are born from really!

Everything is looked on sexually. And now this cry about Mahatma Gandhi being bi-sexual. I have a simple thing to say here. Petty people cannot look beyond themselves, to them the entire world is as petty as are they, and hence they cannot even conceive or even begin to understand greatness. I am sure soon enough someone will come up with sickening stories on Jesus, Ram and more, well just because they think that everyone is as shallow as them. Abstinence, is not easy, and all those who are sexually active will know that. How many of us can even imagine giving it up for life? Very few, and most of those who do would not even succeed! So the people who have or did, are now labelled with all kinds of names, because dimwits cannot think beyond themselves or their own lack of self control. If someone does not or did not marry and remained a bachelor or spinster, they must have been homosexual. If they had a close friend of the same sex, they must have been homosexual or bi-sexual.

I wonder what warped world these people come from, or is the world getting so warped, that we cannot think beyond the nasty? Have these people never had friends, or have they never had any relationship in their lives that was not about sex? If you have not been able to tell till now, I am extremely enraged. Takes me back to the one thing that irritated me about JK Rowling, her claim about Dumbledore's homosexuality. Yeah well, its her character, and she can shape it as she pleases, but why does he have to be homosexual or not?

Somehow, no one aspires to be better anymore I think, its about pulling people down to your dirty level. I want to have sex outside of marriage, I do it, and then claim the whole world does, they just don't say it. Why be ashamed of what I did, why let there be a moral high ground? I would rather pull everyone down to my dirty level.Makes life easier doesn't it. So everything has an OK, any kind of sex, any kind of relationship and wow what a wonderful world we have.

I have not read the book, and I would like to believe the author, Joseph Lelyveld, when he says people are misquoting and misunderstanding his work, but its the very idea that people think this way that sickens me. I can bet my entire life, that not one of these so called writers or critics have the guts to do one tenth of what the Mahatma did for not just India, but the world. So what do they do, they try to tarnish his image and give  new dimensions to his persona. Its been done before, its being done again. Its shameful and utterly disgusting, if you cannot emulate any of his great principles, and I am sure most of us don't even try, the least we can do is show respect, and admire a great man.

Each and everyday I seem to find something that tells me how little we value our morals, and how easily we let virtues rot. Commitments, who needs them, its ok to break them. Extra marital relationships happen, there are bad relationships ....... what about commitment, what about honesty? And while it does take place, there is no denying that, to actually accept it as acceptable, by mainstream society is what scares me so so much. No one thinks its a virtue to be patient, or humble. If you don't beat your own drum you lose out, and again the worst bit is not just doing it, but claiming, that to be the right thing to do. God! I can go on endlessly about this, and it will just make my blood boil some more. I am too enraged and upset to be coherent I think, so I will link you up to a post, which is written clearly and precisely, talking about many many more such incidents and I loved it.

The fact is, morality exists for a reason. No I am no supporter of the Shiv Sena or Shri Ram Sena, but it breaks my heart to see how easily everyone lets go of anything moral, by giving it a million different names, to do things that are easy and require no self control or restraint. And it is really shameful to not only do that, but the people who really led the hard life by following the moral principles of life, being trivialised, and made to look petty. I personally know two women, one of whom was a spinster all her life, dedicated to the profession of teaching, and I can guarantee she died a virgin. Another widowed before thirty, who never indulged in any kind of sexual activity for the years after. If anyone dares, call them homosexual, or whatever I will personally wreck physical havoc on them. I have just this to say to such people, "I pity your existence, without any morality or ethics, because not only is your mindset lowly, the sad bit is you can never even comprehend what greatness look like. Much like the pig which can never even look at the sky, but lives and eats filth."

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Little Pleasures

Last evening I went to pick up the BB from his kinder, and the half an hour from then till we got home, had some sweet incidents in store, which left me smiling for the rest of my evening. The BB was just so happy to see me, he took me around his room, showed me everything he played with through the day, and gave me the warmest cuddles ever. And then just as we reached the gate, of his play area, two little girls from his room were to be seen sitting on a log there.  And the BB, was busy telling me they are sitting there, when the two girls looked at him, and said aloud, "Bye bye BB!" And one of them just stood up, ran with her arms open wide towards the BB, and put hugged him. She even bent down to put her head on his chest. Gosh! It was the cutest little thing I have ever seen.

I left the place smiling, and as we were walking back home, it began to rain, and as is Murphy's law, I was not carrying our umbrellas. This was the first time the BB and I got wet in the rains. Being his very first time, the BB was not sure of how it felt, and walked with his hands up ahead in front of him once they were wet. We reached home, he took his umbrella, and walked around, just to have a feel of the rains with his umbrella.

And aah! for the little pleasures of life.

Monday, March 28, 2011

CSAAM April 2011 Is Coming Soon!

That is the Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month April 2011. With great initiative, by a couple of motivated and concerned bloggers, namely Kiran and Monika, the CSAAM, will kick off this Friday, the 1st of April. A month, that will give us many informed, posts, articles and discussions to think and talk about the very taboo topic of Child Sexual Abuse. Read about how it all began, if it interests you in Monika's introductory post.

It is not an exaggeration, when one says almost 80% of women in India have faced some form of sexual abuse as a child, most often by people known to and trusted by the family. The fact that the awareness and the concern about such a widespread phenomenon is so little, is what this initiative plans to change. Information and knowledge is the best way to deal with this evil. Most parents ridicule the very idea of their child being abused, and hence neither explain the possibility, nor equip the child to deal with such a situation. Thus leaving a child more vulnerable to being hurt and abused. There is also a lack of acceptance, when such an incident occurs, an attempt to push it under the carpet, which just makes it much worse for the victim. The aim of the campaign, is to bring out to light the issues surrounding CSA, to remove the myths and bring out the truth, to make people aware of it. Knowledge and awareness of this very prevelant social evil is the very first step towards our beating it.

The campaign has support from NGOs which work with victims, besides many wonderful bloggers themselves. Be prepared to learn facts, feelings, real life incidents and the best ways to cope with it or help a victim. But foremost, it is a campaign to make people see CSA in broad daylight and accept it.

Click on image, to see the blog.

If you would like to add to the discussion or know somebody else who would, please note that we welcome entries

a. mailed to OR
b. posted as FB notes and linked to Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month Page

c. posted on your own blog with the badge and linked to the main blog OR
d. linked or posted on Twitter tagged

e. sent via some/all of the above methods

The list of topics is available here
. Anonymous contributions are accepted and requests for anonymity will of course be honoured. I will probably be hosting at least one guest post and encourage you to do the same for non-blogging friends.

Please remember to send in a mail with all necessary links or just your input to so that we can track your contribution and make sure that it is not inadvertently lost or something.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Feeling Redundant!

Yes, that's me today. Its strange how the wheel of time turns. Somehow I feel my family could live all on their own. Would not miss me much if I were to suddenly disappear tomorrow. Oh! Well, yes I am being all maudlin here. But I have my reasons, and would have shed my tears at some point right?

If you know me, or my family, you would know we are a very child centred family. So no, the GP and I don't really do things without the BB or have 'dates' or anything like that. A lot of that is our circumstances, having no one we would be happy to leave the BB with, and the rest is, well, just us, or maybe more me. I was never comfortable leaving him, anywhere at all till very recently. So well, that is the way things have been. And it seemed worth it, with the BB's only need in the world being me. He can be anywhere, with anyone, as long as I am around. Or he could be. He needed me always, till a year ago, he would not even go out with the GP, without me. Well things have changed.

I have now become the boring lump of a human being who stays home all day, does not really entertain him with the things he enjoys, like playing with the tool box, or sit on the motorbike and honk the horn, or try and take his cycle apart. So well, to put it mildly, the BB is now an extension of his father, the 100 watt smile on his face, as his father walks into the house each evening, is really worth seeing. And I would be lying if I said, that does not hurt a little bit, well it does, and quite a lot. The two of them would roughhouse, and do their guy stuff, and well, I look on and pretend to be busy on the laptop, or the kitchen or elsewhere. Once the father is home, the BB can actually walk through me, without even realising I exist.  And somehow I feel out of the loop, don't know what would be fun for him anymore, or what would entertain him at times, and just wonder when did this really happen, when did he infact outgrow me?  And while I did not cry, when he spent his first day at the day care, or started his kinder, I am filled with a deep emptiness today, as the tears flow freely, wondering if I have infact become redundant for my little boy.

Earthquake Survival

This is a mail I received, and  what it says, made sense to me, and hence I am posting it here, so that it can be of use to as many people as I can reach. And if you don't feel like reading the whole thing, just look at the pics at the end.

Where to go and survive during an EarthquakePlease read on.

Remember that stuff about hiding under a table or standing in a doorway? Well, forget it! This is a real eye opener. It could save your life someday.

My name is Doug Copp. I am the Rescue Chief and Disaster Manager of the American Rescue Team International (ARTI ), the world's most experienced rescue team. The information in this article will save lives in an earthquake.

I have crawled inside 875 collapsed buildings, worked with rescue teams from 60 countries, founded rescue teams in several countries, and I am a member of many rescue teams from many countries. I was the United Nations expert in Disaster Mitigation for two years, and have worked at every major disaster in the world since 1985, except for simultaneous disasters.

The first building I ever crawled inside of was a school in Mexico City during the 1985 earthquake. Every child was under its desk. Every child was crushed to the thickness of their bones. They could have survived by lying down next to their desks in the aisles. It was obscene -- unnecessary.

Simply stated, when buildings collapse, the weight of the ceilings falling upon the objects or furniture inside crushes these objects, leaving a space or void next to them - NOT under them. This space is what I call the 'triangle of life'. The larger the object, the stronger, the less it will compact. The less the object compacts, the larger the void, the greater the probability tha t the person who is using this void for safety will not be injured. The next time you watch collapsed buildings, on television, count the 'triangles' you see formed. They are everywhere. It is the most common shape, you will see, in a collapsed building.


1) Most everyone who simply 'ducks and covers' when building collapse are crushed to death. People who get under objects, like desks or cars, are crushed.

2) Cats, dogs and babies often naturally curl up in the fetal position. You should too in an earthquake. It is a natural safety/survival instinct. You can survive in a smaller void. Get next to an object, next to a sofa, next to a bed, next to a large bulky object that will compress slightly but leave a void next to it.

3) Wooden buildings are the safest type of construction to be in during an earthquak
i.e. Wood is flexible and moves with the force of the earthquake. If the wooden building does collapse, large survival voids are created. Also, the wooden building has less concentrated, crushing weight. Brick buildings will break into individual bricks. Bricks will cause many injuries but less squashed bodies than concrete slabs.

4) If you are in bed during the night and an earthquake occurs, simply roll off the bed. A safe void will exist around the bed. Hotels can achieve a much greater survival rate in earthquakes, simply by posting a sign on the back of the door of every room telling occupants to lie down on the floor, next to the bottom of the bed during an earthquake.

5) If an earthquake happens and you cannot easily escape by getting out the door or window, then lie down and curl up in the fetal position next to a sofa, or large chair.

6) Most everyone who gets under a doorway when buildings collapse is killed. How? If you stand under a doorway and the doorjamb falls forward or backward you will be crushed by the ceiling above. If the door jam falls sideways you will be cut in half by the doorway. In either case, you will be killed!

7) Never go to the stairs. The stairs have a different 'moment of frequency' (they swing separately from the main part of the building). The stairs and remainder of the building continuously bump into each other until structural failure of the stairs takes place. The people who get on stairs before they fail are chopped up by the stair treads - horribly mutilated. Even if the building doesn't collapse, stay away from the stairs. The stairs are a likely part of the building to be damaged. Even if the stairs are not collapsed by the earthquake, they may collapse later when overloaded by fleeing people. They should always be checked for safety, even when the rest of the building is not damaged.

8) Get near the outer walls of buildings or outside of them if possible - It is much better to be near the outside of the building rather than the interior. The farther inside you are from the outside perimeter of the building the greater the probability that your escape route will be blocked.

9) People inside of their vehicles are crushed when the road above falls in an earthquake and crushes their vehicles; which is exactly what happened with the slabs between the decks of the Nimitz Freeway. The victims of the San Francisco earthquake all stayed inside of their vehicles. They were all killed. They could have easily survived by getting out and sitting or lying next to their vehicles. Everyone killed would have survived if they had been able to get out of their cars and sit or lie next to them. All the crushed cars had voids 3 feet high next to them, except for the cars that had columns fall directly across them.

10) I discovered, while crawling inside of collapsed newspaper offices and other offices with a lot of paper, that paper does not compact. Large voids are found surrounding stacks of paper.

Spread the word and save someone's life...

The entire world is experiencing natural calamities so be prepared!

'We are but angels with one wing, it takes two to fly'

In 1996 we made a film, which proved my survival methodology to be correct. The Turkish Federal Government, City of Istanbul, University of Istanbul Case Productions and ARTI cooperated to film this practical, scientific test. We collapsed a school and a home with 20 mannequins inside. Ten mannequins did 'duck and cover,' and ten mannequins I used in my 'triangle of life' survival method. After the simulated earthquake collapse we crawled through the rubble and entered the building to film and document the results. The film, in which I practiced my survival techniques under directly observable, scientific conditions , relevant to building collapse, showed there would have been zero percent survival for those doing duck and cover.

There would likely have been 100 percent survivability for people using my method of the 'triangle of life.' This film has been seen by millions of viewers on television in Turkey and the rest of Europe, and it was seen in the USA , Canada and Latin America on the TV program Real TV.

Subject: Save your life with "The Triangle of Life"

"Triangle of Life":

Without listening or reading, simply by looking at the following self-explanatory photos, you can learn more than in a thousand words about how to protect yourself during a major earthquake...

If you are inside a vehicle, come out and sit or lie down next to it. If something falls on the vehicle, it will leave an empty space along the sides. See below:


Monday, March 14, 2011

The Boy With Wants and Observations

Did I tell you, or have I told you often enough, how much I adore my child. To me, he is the best in the world, and how can it be any other way. All mothers, fathers, doting grandparents, aunts and uncles will know exactly what I am talking about. Well, the thing is the GP is a minimalist, his only passions are gadgets, the only thing he is willing to spend good money on, besides for the family, for his own pleasure. If he could get away with it, he would not add anything to his wardrobe for atleast a decade. His wants are very limited, and he is or used to be amazed at my ability to shop non-stop. I am a woman, I love shopping, retail therapy, or should I say I used to. Not to say it makes me unhappy to buy things for myself now, but the intense desire to get myself things, to spend the hard earned buck, has diminished markedly over the past year of my spiritual growth.

Coming to the BB, he has been a minimalist child forever. Its because of my desire to see him in varied clothes, and his growth alone, that new clothes are added on consistently, he could not care less. He has never wanted a toy, or a anything at all. I don't remember ever going to a shop, where he has expressed a want for something. Its upto us, to see what interests him, and then buy it for him. The least he does, is picks one of two or three options we show him. So this weekend was a first of its kind. Last Valentine's we had bought the BB his first bicycle, and he loved it. For months he would use his legs to move it around, and then after a few months, he suddenly got the hang of pedaling, and its been a non stop riot of fun ever since. Of late however, the doting father, felt he had outgrown the bike, the knees were touching the handlebars, when he pedaled and things. I feel he is quite alright on the bike still. So this weekend, we went to a departmental store, and the GP let him try on a bigger bike. He wanted to ride it back home trust me. And starting Friday evening, there was a chant of, "Want big bike. Bring big green bike from shop." haunted the household. That was all he spoke about when he went to bed, that is all he said when he was half asleep. I was amazed. Finally there was something my son really wanted! And so Sunday evening, we went and got him the new big bike, and man does he love it. Its got a brake too, and he got the hang of it pretty quickly. He pretended there were traffic lights, and stopped when it was red, turned when there was a signal to turn. It feels wonderful to have bought him something he really wanted!

When he woke up today morning, the first thing he did was rush downstairs, rode on the bike for a bit, and then came back upstairs to get dressed for kinder. :) And then he noticed. You see, the GP now uses a motor-bike to travel to and fro from work. Parking is a nightmare near his workplace, and using public transport involves a lot of walking, which he does not particularly enjoy. So the point is, he burnt a couple of his trouser legs, while riding, since they flap around the hot exhaust pipe. And no, he has not, and is not buying new ones! So the BB, all dressed waiting for his father, has the following conversation with his father.

BB - Papa, what is that?(Pointing to the burn marks)
GP - The trouser got burnt.
BB(unhappy) - Wear other one.
GP - I don't have another one, we will get one over the weekend.
BB - Get papa pants, weekend!

That maybe the new chant for the week, but what I am interested in finding out, is if the father will give in to the son's demand? Because with me, it can be gruff no, that puts an end to all conversation, but that will definitely not work with the son!


Wednesday, March 2, 2011

A True Role Model

It never ceases to amaze me, how truly great people, never blame the circumstances, no matter how tough it gets. They harbour no malice for people who may have treated them in ways, that is nothing short of cruel. I wish that someday, I am able to achieve such a mentality, where I can look beyond any negative influences in my life. It is not that I have never tried, and that is possibly why, I appreciate even more, the people who are capable of doing it, because its not easy. Came across this article in the newspaper yesterday, and it left me, inspired and in awe.

This is a 27 year old woman called Rukhma Lakshman Kale, residing in a village in Maharashtra. She is a volunteer with UNICEF, and is working to help young girls and women in villages, by encouraging them to go to school, as well as by teaching them basic life skills like personal hygiene, basic banking and accounting and so on. Inspiring enough just for this, but what really amazed me, was her personal story, for which she holds no grudges. She was made to live in a cowshed with a newborn baby, and yet all she says is, "It could have happened to anyone.". How many of us can ever be that gracious? We crib and bitch for hours about minor incidents we might have experienced at work, or with in-laws. And here is a woman, who  is a single mother, bringing up her child alone, with no grudges, and actually doing something concrete to make a difference to the society.

And that is what I think a true role-model should be like. truly inspiring, in every aspect. Unfortunately we look at models and actresses as your goals for body image, and then think we are good enough ourselves to not need to change ever. And we shortchange ourselves for life that way. Because we don't believe in really changing or trying to excel as a person. I am inspired by women, people like Rukhma. Who are truly role-models and  are actually acting for change. Who or what inspires you?