Today is a day that has left me with a lot of thoughts, some pride, and some longing. And I think I will jot it all down under today's day!
Today was projected as a BIG day in my mind since the past couple of weeks. Reason? It is my training Wednesday, and the GP has gladly hopped out of town on business. I was pretty sure I would mess up the day in more ways than one, but fortunately I made myself proud. Wednesdays usually means, the BB is completely in the GP's care. I am out of the house before either one of the male members of this family wake up. So its upto the GP to clean, feed, dress and more, the BB, then drop him off at his day-care place, and since my training happens far away, the GP gets back earlier, and gets to pick up the BB on his way back too. But today I had to do it all, and atleast attempt to reach my training centre in time. For a moment last night, the idea of taking an off today loomed quite lucratively in my mind. Fortunately I did not take it too seriously, and instead, actually managed to get everything in order and get out of the house before 8. Dropped the BB off, did 'my thing' the whole day, got back picked him up, and got back home really late and tiered, but proud that I was able to pull it off, without any hitch. That there, is the bit that gives me the pride.
The longing is for the GP. I am missing him terribly, especially in these long dark winter evenings, which give me nothing to look forward to. Just eagerly waiting for my man to be back soon! The entire day just passes, but the long evenings get really boring without the GP coming home, and changing the pace of things. Thankfully the BB does not get all cranky, I would not know what to do, if he did.
And now for the thoughts, there are loads. Each day at the training I am realising how similair human nature is all around the world, how the feminist issues remain the same, and women are facing similair problems everywhere! Never thought that domestic violence, exploitation, domination, issues common to women across the globe. Its amazing how many wonderful women, are making time to volunteer. Some of their personal stories have shaken me up so much, that I have no idea, if I would have made it out alive, of the kind of situations they have been through. Just gives me, so much to truly admire and get inspired from. In this world, there are people who have pretty much everything, and cannot stop cribbing about how they get the raw end of things, and then I see these amazingly stellar women, who have the true strength to have gone through what they have, and then concretely give back to the world.
I am not sure, that this is politically correct, but I am saying it anyway. Besides me, there is another Indian girl/woman in my training group, and the pain she is taking to avoid me, is really getting irksome now. I find it really disconcerting, when we all pop in a hi - hello to each other, and she makes a conscientious effort to avoid me. At all times she ensures, she never makes eye-contact with me, or is not alone with me somewhere. Its strange because she is actually taking a lot of effort to do all of that. It has been that way from the very first day of training, but I never bothered, but four weeks into it, and now its really getting a bit too obvious to ignore. I just want to send her a brain wave saying, don't worry, I am not dying to be your friend, either! The world can indeed be quite strange at times. Racism???
The rest of the women are all very very warm and friendly, and more than anything it is such a learning opportunity, just being around them. Its wonderful how everyone makes an effort to sit with different people each time, and thus, interact with a different person at each session. Each one has a story to tell, and believe me, everyone of them inspire me with what they do, how much they pack into their weeks, their lives, and many with what they have endured, and yet turn out to be the kind of people they have. Awesome and Inspiring!