Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Three Decades and A Day - Taking Stock

At thirty, it is time I took stock of where I am in life, and where I want to go. Yes, I turned thirty yesterday, stepped into a new decade of life, and am not too sure of how I feel about it right now. I will definitely miss not being in the twenties anymore, but besides that I don't think much has changed in life in the past two days. Atleast I feel the same.

The twenties were possibly the most happening decade of my life. The very significant and life altering happenings like graduation, first job, marriage, motherhood, it all happened in the past ten years. I don't foresee any other decade in life, which will be quite as happening. So in that way I am in a more settled and steady state of life. The twenties have been all about fun and growing up. Each step pulling me up a bit more, making me more mature. The woman standing here now, at her thirtieth birthday will probably not even recognise the naive girl who existed ten years back. Am I happy with the way I have changed? Yes, I think I will say I am more happy than sad about the way I am today. Except for being a little more cynical about the world around me, I have become a better person in every other way,calmer, smarter, less judgmental, more open minded, more understanding, more confident and most importantly content and peaceful.

The twenties have brought me up, passed me from the hands of my parents to my ownself, and I have proven to myself I have what it takes to be what I want to be. Though I don't necessarily, always take my steps in the right direction, I often give up and take the easy way out, I know I can do it, if I really want to. The last decade also introduced me to my spiritual thirst. I don't blog a lot about that part of me or my thoughts, because nothing gets more personal than that. I recognised the difference between religion and spiritualism, and I recognised my own spiritual needs. I know now, that I need my life to be more than just the superficial living, I need to be a lot more, do a lot more. In more ways than one, I have discovered myself in my twenties, atleast understood myself, my needs, my wants and found the direction my life needs. And now it is about treading the path my soul needs, and doing what my heart truly wants.

The twenties has also given me the two most important persons in my life. The GP and the BB, the two, without whom I cannot even fathom a life now. I love them, need them and want them more than anything else in the world. these two are the most precious things I have collected in the past decade.

The past year in itself has not been exceptionally eventful, atleast not in a good way. There have been a lot of not-so-happy happenings, and I remember the past year more for the frights, depressions, and scares I have had. Hopefully I have learnt my lessons from them, and moved on to better things. If there is one thing I will remember my last year for, especially in a positive way, it will be for my weight loss. Yes, I am twenty kilos lighter this birthday from the last. There are gory, comparative, before and after pics I can share, but that is not the point of this post. So well I am lighter, more importantly healthier, and need to keep up the motivation to go further, for the last few miles...errr... I mean kilos. The next big thing to happen was that our plan to shift out of this place got finalised. I am happy for two reasons about that, for one, our stay here was a temporary one, which meant I always felt like I am in a state of suspension, neither completely settled in, nor ready to move on, and secondly, personally I have been unable to gel into this place. So I am happy to be moving. Yes it is a big thing, shifting bag and baggage yet again, but hopefully this will be the last and final time, and I am finally moving into a place to settle in.

For the time ahead, I need to plan up a career path, yes I do want to get back out, and meet people, make some money too. But it will not be IT, I am just not meant for that job, it is so not my calling. I have some ideas, but that would mean I have to start studying, attend classes, appear for examinations, and the whole scenario kind of scares me for now. But I am not giving up, I know I need to do my bit to get what I want. It will be tough, studying and taking care of the BB and home, but I think as the BB is growing up now, it is doable. I am intimidated at the thought of having to start from scratch yet again, to be very honest. Especially when most people my age are well up the ladder in their career paths, but I know that I can never be happy, satisfied or even motivated in the field I worked in, a change is most severely required, if I want to enjoy my work life, and make it a happy part of my life. That is what I foresee most prominently in my recent future, besides of course the BB growing up, life changing a bit each day, the body getting older, the bones creaking some more, and maybe, just maybe, I will get courageous enough to learn driving and swimming some day.

So gone are the three younger decades of life, and here is toasting to the life ahead, which I hope ages like wine does.

15 comments:

tarabhatt said...

well, here are some more wishes for the coming years.. hope you get to do what you are looking forward to... may you always be blessed with the happiness and presence of your loved ones around and the journey ahead in the new place be only better and brighter :)

(((((hugs))))) GM, happy thirties !! ;) will see there shortly :P

Smitha said...

Birthday wishes again, GM!

You are right, I think for a lot of us, twenties must be the defining decade, in a lot of ways.

Here's wishing you all the best for whatever you plan to take up! And the hope that the coming years are the happiest and the most peaceful possible!

sraikh said...

You will rock the the thirties. I know it. I am 2 years into them and they are fast becoming the best decade of my life.

And you are moving?
Where to?
My part of the world? YES??

Rakesh said...

Happy Bird Day GM!!!

Welcome to the 30+ Club :)

soin said...

my mom studied with a three year old me and six months bro.. so one should not be tough..any happy birthday..

Solilo said...

Welcome to the 30s club! Now you are one of us. Muahahahahaha. Last year I was under the same shock when I turned 30.

Hey! you a Libran? My mom is too. Librans are pretty gals.

You are right about 20s. I miss my 20s. So much happened in 20s.

Also, have a safe and happy move to Australia. Settle well and blog on!

Shruti SriHarsha said...

Happy Birthday GM!!!
Very beautiful written about your twenties....3 more yrs, I will be stepping into my thrities too:) looks exciting

I loved your last line...Driving and swimming....you should go ahead and learn!

Sraboney said...

Happy Birthday!

The 30s are better because you know yourself better...

When are you moving?

Silvara said...

Happy birthday!!

Hope the next decade gives u even more happiness than the past :)

D said...

Keep this post with you always, Goofy, because it's introspective about the past as well as the future and says so much about what you have achieved and what you want to achieve.

Mystic Margarita said...

Belated Birthday wishes, girl. So sorry I missed it :(
Here's hoping that this year sees all your dreams come true. Welcome to the Thrilling 30's! :)

When are you moving? Good luck and hope it gooes smoothly.

Piper .. said...

A very belated happy bday Goof! :) I shall come back later to read the posts I`ve missed.

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

What a wonderful post Goofy! So full of wisdom, maturity and introspection. You should be proud of yourself on all levels. This is the post of a woman with her head on her shoulders!

Belated birthday wishes my dear. May the candle of your spiritual quest keep burning; may you find a vocation that you are passionate about and may you have only happiness with your two precious 'boys'.

A toast to you, your health, your future! Cheers!

Passionate Goof said...

Tara - Thanks Tara. I hope for the best too. :D

Smitha - Thanks Smi. Indeed so much happens in the 20s is it not?

Sraikh - Hope so, I want to be half as cool as you!! Moving to Aussie land.

Rakesh - thankeeee.

Soin - Wow. That is indeed inspiring.

Sol - Yes I am part of the club now. :D I am ok with the age so far, let see when it hits me on the head with a club.

Shruti - Thanks dear. Enjoy the time before you get into the officially grown-up age.

Sraboney - Thanks. I agree with the knowing myself better bit. I will be shifting out of here next month.

Silvara - Thanks!! I hope so too!!

D - Yes miss!! :) And thanks.

Mystic - Thanks, and no hassles. Moving to Australia, and I hope it goes smoothly too.

Piper - thanks love.

M4 - Wow! That is some compliment. Thanks!! You do have a wonderful way with words and expressions, thanks for the lovely wishes.

Elizabeth said...

Belated Happy Bday.
All the best in the shifting and count me on in the non-driving, non-swimming category :)