Monday, July 5, 2010

Not Womanly Enough?

I am doing a tag after really really long, and I know I have many a pending tags, and to be honest I don't know if I will ever get to them. But when I saw this one, it seemed interesting, and since its a dear friend, I wanted to give it a go. Only now, that I have actually sat down to write it, I realise how difficult it is for me. For one I believe in the differences between men and women, I don't even for a second think they are the same, or are meant to do the same things. 'Unique halves which together form a complete whole', that is my take on the sexes. So even though this is likely to cause great consternation to many, I do in fact support some of the so-called stereotypes. Add to that, that I have been an only child, so nothing gendered affected me there, I have grown up in a place, and studied in a school, that was full of the rich and famous. So I think what I grew up with was the exact opposite of the Gender stereotypes, this tag talks about. So I thought, I will try and do this the ways, in which I think I have broken norms or expectations, in certain ways, maybe even the opposite of the stereotypes this tag expects me to talk about. Smitha, I hope I do justice to your expectations in tagging me.

Smitha from Any Excuse To Write, Deeps from Perceptions and live on impulse has tagged me to do a post on My Sins Against Gender Stereotypes, and so here I go with my own interpretation of it. I will try to list it based on the enormity of my sins.

1. I gave up work to be a home-maker and a mother. I still have not heard the last of it, more than four years down the line. An educated woman of today, sitting at home and wasting away her education. I have been asked questions like 'Don't you get bored at home all day?' to 'Don't you feel bad wasting all the money your parents spent on educating you?'. These questions come from people I barely to know, as well as close family and friends. The kind of work I have chosen to do now, is raising more eyebrows than ever. I think its a stupid stereotype, that every educated woman need to work professionally and earn, even if that makes her unhappy.

2. I was never coy or shy. (This I think can go in the more typical stereotypes.) I am not shy or coy even now, but the realities of life have taught me to be more careful and reserved around people, and especially men, because I know, that ugly comments about me, now reflect on the GP. When I went to college, I never played the coy, shy babe in distress, and formed easy and close friendships with boys. I was labeled everything from easy to cheap. And surprisingly these came from boys, who were supposedly my friends.

3. I practically lived in my jeans and my father's shirts during my growing up years. SO much so, that an old lady, a family friend, can passed a snide remark about how I would wear a pair of jeans even during my wedding. huh????

4.I love manual work. Yes I do, send me out, to dig a hole, paint a house, chop some wood, I would love it really. Infact I think such work gives me immense pleasure. I can handle wires, and plugs and tools. But I think I am losing touch with those things being with the GP who does it around the house now. Infact when I was in school, there was a vaccination drive of some kind going on. My parents did not approve of it for me, so I did not get the shot, while most of the others did. And by the end of the school day, most of them had fever and could barely stay awake. I remember I carried about 7-8 of the school bags besides my own into the school bus that day. And I still remember it with pride.

5. I loved sports, throughout my childhood. I would discuss sports with the boys in school, I knew the ins and outs of most things, my room was full of photos of all kinds of sports stars. Sportsworld is the magazine that I subscribed to as a girl. I would stay up nights during the Football World Cup, and watch every match. Tennis was my special favourite. Surprisingly I have lost the passion completely now. I am ashamed to say I am not sure I even know all the players of the current Indian cricket team.

6. I don't like either singing or dancing, nor am I artistic by nature. Fortunately the GP has a much better sense of aesthetics than me, and I can trust him to take care of that aspect. I have to make concentrated efforts to beautify things, and presentations, I don't have a natural eye for such things.

7. I love the outdoors. Given a chance I would camp in my own backyard, well maybe not, I love my bed too much for that. But the fact is that I love the outdoors. I hate weekends, that do not lead to outings. I love walking, trekking, hiking. I just love being out, the sun shining, the wind in face. Not very girly na?

8. Inefficient Home-maker. Now this one really bothers me. Because I would love to be able to maintain the perfect home, with discipline and orderliness. But that would mean, early mornings, every day, order and discipline for myself. Just not my thing!

9. Comfort Always. That is my motto when it comes to clothes and footwear. I never wear heels, because I just cannot walk well in them. My clothes are always picked for comfort, and looks follow in second. The need to dress up for an occasion or a party, throws me into a tizzy, and I wait to rip the clothes right off of me, as soon as I can get back home. I still love wearing men's shirts and pyjamas/track-pants are my only home-wear.

10. Cosmetics don't entice me. I have been influenced by people around me, and purchased things, which have never been used. So I have learnt my lesson, and never buy those things now. I have attended weddings in my kajal and lipstick, and happily so. I forget to even moisturise my hands and feet regularly, so buying anything more is a complete waste of money in my case.

Yay! I got 10. I was really struggling for the last couple. In some ways I think I am quite a stereotype myself. However I shall pass this onto others, who I think will do a much better job than me.

Soul OF Alec Smart


Sraboney said...

Hey, a good list...

I've been reading a lot of these tags and most people have similar lists...I think this question is more relevant to people who don't blog...

Anonymous said...

same pinch Goof.. I can't dance or sing to save my life, as a homemaker the less said the better and yes I love a tan :)

Deeps said...

Loved the way you did the tag, GM!

The very first point-thumbs up for that :). I've lost count of number of time I have been asked why I am not working or why I'm wasting my education and skill sitting idle at home..those questions irk me no end! It is a ridiculous stereotype that every educated woman has to work!

BTW, sweetie I had tagged you too when I did the tag :)

Here's the link Hop by whenever time permits :)

D said...

Ah, I'm totally loving this tag! Mera number aayega!

Rakesh said...

I guess I have to copy and paste my comment over all the blogs in my blog roll. Coz. everypage has this tag these days!!!

newmumontheblock said...

Hi there, could totally relate to what you must be going thru' on point no.1 I've taken a break from work to be with my daughter too and I get the exact same remarks all the time.
This is a fun tag,have been reading it across quite a few blogs.Am with you on points 9 & 10!

Passionate Goof said...

Bones - Likely to be isn't it. Maybe it is indeed more relevant to them.

liveonimpulse - He he he. I would never dance or sing in public.

Deeps - Thanks! And I don't know how I missed seeing my name on your list, I had read your post.

D - Yay! now do it soon.

Rakesh - Go ahead!

newmumontheblock - Oh! they will pick your brains off, believe you
me. You should pick it up and do it yourself.