How do you like to live your life? Being single and free to mingle, or much married/into a relationship, a cosy twosome? What appeals to you, being where you are, or does the other side of the fence look much greener?
Its been a while now, since I have been wondering about how I like it, being a married, family woman that I am, or would I have preferred being single, playing the field (as if!!) and doing exactly what I want to do, whenever and wherever. Loads of my friends from school and college, are still unmarried and even unattached to anyone in particular. Their photo albums on social networking sites are full of photos of the vacations they are going on with friends, or parties or general fun stuff they do. Their life looks so seductively gorgeous. Would I want it? Would I? You mean, no needing to take care of a house, no cooking and feeding a child, no need to get off the Internet to put a child to sleep, watching exactly what I want on TV all the time, going out with friends, just about anywhere and anytime I want to....... who would not? But then that would also mean not having that one someone I can trust with my life, yes indeed, there is no single friend of mine who I could do that with, no one to nurse me when I am unwell, not having someone on the bed I sleep in, no one to come home to, no one to fight and make-up with, no one to miss when I am away from them, and then I am not sure I want to go that way at all.
I am sure there are loads of very happy single people, but I know that is not the way I want it, that is not what will make me happy. I need commitment in any relationship I have, be it a friend, a parent or anyone at all. And its quite naive to expect complete commitment from unrelated people in today's days and times. Some lucky ones do find it, I have not. One of my oldest and closest friends is untraceable now. I have been trying to call her, since I got to India, but the phone is switched off, as is her husbands. My e-mails remain unanswered. A blog-friend, who I thought was quite close, and I really wanted to speak to, never called, I had pretty much forced my contact number down her throat I think. (If you are reading this, you know who you are, and I am completely OK, if you don't wish to or cannot call.) I love both of them dearly, and they are no less my friends now, than they were before, but had I been single, and really counted on these friends, I don't think I would have survived for too long. Friends may remain or not, sometimes its distance, sometimes its lack of equal feelings, sometimes being in different stages of life, we cannot expect a consistency, until we live together, or at least almost. Then what happen to someone like me, who is actually like an emotional creeper (not a good thing, I know), I either beg people to be my friend, or become super clingy, or just simply super-pessimistic in life. None of which sound like a great way to be. For people who are strong and capable of complete emotional independence(if that is indeed really possible) or are fortunate enough to find a super-duper soulmate kind of friend, or have a great great family to live with, it works out I think, but for me, its not the way to go.
Hence this is to say, I am happy, married, a mother. I have my own person, to be with me forever, with whom I have no constraints, secrets, hassles or any such thing, and who is there with and for me any hour of the day or night. I think that really rocks. And also makes me realise how much I am missing the DH who is far far away from me, since the past ten days now, and I still have some days to go, before I see him again. Lucky me, that the BB is with me, and the DH has managed to find us an accommodation in Melbourne, which means I leave on the scheduled day, and do not need to postpone my move.
So what works for you, are you happy where you are, or would you rather be in the other group? How many of you think, you are a couple, but have tons of fun with your friends too? If you do, then do you think your dynamics with these very friends would remain the same even if you were single? Tell me what you think!!