Meeting Up and Going Away

And I have done it. Never thought I would be able to, but I did. I met a fellow blogger, Tara. I visited her home, and had some yummy food too. The grilled chicken and some absolutely mouth watering paav bhaaji. Oh! And did I mention her picture perfect home. Its just the place for friends to sit and chill out in. Relaxed, cosy, vibrant and warm. They have definitely done a great job in doing up the house. Tara is exactly what I thought she would be, warm,sweet and quiet. She was busy being a good host, and letting the BB play around. The BB on his part as always was fascinated with the Tara's fish tank, and kept repeating atu,atu (read water). And he was also amazed with Tara's open kitchen, where he could see us, even while we were in a different room. Tara has beautiful plants all around her home, and sea shells too. She has a mind blowing collection of the shells, and how well she has used them to decorate her home. Every nook and corner of the house has that special touch of beauty and decor.

Tara and Amit are such a sweet couple, if you didn't know them, you could well believe they are just dating. I was just smiling within as I saw them, and I am smiling right now as I type this. We talked about this place, the people and loads more. I love the area she lives in, it is very well organised, and is green enough to make you believe you are in India. We actually drove around the place after dinner, and rolled down the car windows to actually smell the foliage. The greatest thing about the meeting, was that, not for moment did I feel like it was a first meeting. It was like sitting around with friends we have known long enough, and having a relaxed chat and dinner with them. I never knew it would be this easy. Was always a bit apprehensive about what it would be like to actually meet one of the people I read, or one who reads me, and it turned out to be such a wonderful experience, now I just wish we had done this earlier. Tara, thanks a ton for the lovely dinner, and such a fun time. The men bonded nicely too, and I can now always tell the DH, how he met wonderful people, just because I blog, next time he cribs about me being on the laptop too much! The comfort and warmth of the meeting completely belied the fact of it being our very first time. Tara has put up her mysterious account of it too.

The honest fact is, Tara saved my neck, I am leaving, and she kindly accepted to take over my plants. I would have hated to see them dry up. She said she has space, and can take them. And I jumped at the offer, and went to give them to her last night. And since I have mentioned it, yes, I am going on a vacation. Come tomorrow night, and I am off to Bombay for a few days, 12 to be precise. The DH finally got his leave approved, and the tickets were booked late last afternoon, yes he is the absolute last minute kinds. This being the Eid weekend, we were fortunate to find some seats after all. Let the monstrosity of the prices not even be discussed. We finished most of the gift shopping yesterday. Doing very little of it this time, because another, longer trip is scheduled soon enough.

Finally, a vacation after a really really long time. Most of it is going to be dedicated to health care. I am visiting doctors, to let them look into my eyes, ears and other things and ensure that whatever afflictions I have are cured. I am leaving the laptop behind, and staying away from the internet. So that I get more time to relax and enjoy. Waiting to switch on my India SIM card and ring up all my friends, and family. I want to do a photo-chronicling of Bombay, but am not sure how well I will manage. As of now I have the plans though. Durga Pujo is also to be celebrated with great pomp and show, hence am going to pack all my new clothes for the trip. Also packing all the give-away that have collected here, the BB old clothes, blankets etc, some of mine and the DH's too. In India I know of people and places I can give them away to, here I know none.

And, vacationing I go tomorrow!

Telly Shows

There has been a heavy dose of television viewing happening the past few weeks, and I am thoroughly enjoying it. Most of it is Indian telly, and all those who want to snigger, can now stop reading further. There are two shows that I want to talk about, though for completely varied reasons. The first I am really liking, but then every new show is likable, and then just starts treading on the well beaten path and gets boring isn't it?

12/24 Karol Bagh is a new show on Zee TV, and I am following it quite ardently for now. Its about a middle-class, Punjabi business family from West Delhi, and the authenticity of the show is what I am really enjoying for now. The sets, and the characters are very real. I had friends from similar backgrounds back in the days I was in Delhi, and I can actually replace the characters and sets with them, their family, their homes. It is just amazing to see how well, they have recreated the scenario. Most of the actors are doing a great job in maintaining the authenticity, and doing justice to their roles. I feel like I am in Delhi, at a friend's place while watching the show. The story is about a family with four grown up kids, three daughter, and their parents. The hunt is on for a groom for the eldest daughter, who is a bit plump,the trials she is going through to find a match while getting older by the day, the son, who loves a girl from a rich family, the second daughter, who is the perfect pretty bimbo, and the youngest one, who is smart and perceives what others don't.The cake though must go to the current villain of the show, who is the fiance of the eldest daughter of the family. And he is enacting his part too perfectly to be expressed in words. The over smart guy, the habitual liar, the one who lacks manners, etiquette's and sensitivity of any kind, who has different personalities in the presence of his mother and otherwise. He is the kind of creep one would love to hate, and the guy playing the role is enacting it just perfectly. I will definitelycringe if I see him on the street, that is how well he is doing it. Oh! And did I mention the absolutely perfect dilliwaali Hindi (aaiyyo, jaaiyyo, khaaiyyo) ages since I heard or said it. Please catch an episode of this show if you can, it is one of the better ones on Indian television for now. And if the makers of the show ever read this, please stop showing all the yummy snacks from Bengali Market, it is making me drool. And my favourite on the show is the youngest daughter, Mili. She is the kind of girl I love, smart, brave and full of spunk! A question I have though is, what would a parent do, if sacrificing the happiness of one child, meant happiness for the other children?

The second, and absolutely nauseating show, that will soon hit the telly is a reality show called Pati Patni Aur Woh. Telly couples have been selected to babysit kids. What is the purpose of the show, I have no idea, but the very advertisements are disgusting me. It is full of the couples with howling babies, who they try to pacify, while the baby continues to howl. First up, a couple of my choicest abuses to the parents who have given their children to this show. This is like the way animals are captured and made to perform in the circus. Parents are doing this to their own kids? Why? The participating celebrity couples need to be socked, for their stupidity, one of the couples actually screams back at the howling child. have people become insensitive enough to watch this happening in the name of a reality show? Cherry on the icing? One of the participating celebrities is Gaurav Chopra, the man who almost ran over a blogger's son last year, and he is trying to take care of a teeny weeny baby, is it a surprise then, that the baby is howling in that case? How mindless, and disturbing can television get?

The Non-Sick Illness

People do such funny, laugh inducing posts on their illnesses, and all I do is rant about mine. So I thought I will give mine a try. Don't expect laughs, because I can't write funny for my life. My hardest attempts at doing it, makes me, myself squirm. And yet what do I have, if not my dreams?

The problem started a few weeks back with some sneezing, a leaking nose, and a blocked ear. I went to a funny ENT specialist, who diagnosed it as an allergy and prescribed medicines accordingly, and that was it. I took the medicines, things seem to improve, and finally I felt cured of my affliction. A few days of feeling fine, and I am in a state, which neither qualifies as illness, nor as good health. It began with an irritated throat, and followed up with a dry cough. Since there was no pain, I did not really bother, nor did I dare venture to the doctor again.And so I have been dealing with coughing and the throat irritation the whole of last week.

The problem is, this kind of a thing, keeps me fit enough to go about my daily chores, I don't have an excuse to take it easy, and yet it keeps that nagging sense of illness in my mind, giving me enough excuse to pile on some self pity, bunk any work out like activities and gorge on food happily. This state of being is confusing, and not a nice place to be in to be honest. Its better to be on one side of the line which divides the healthy and the sick. This no-man's land area, where I am right now, is not turning out to be much fun!

I Am A Bigotted Racist..... And Why Not?

When you step out of your house, with or without a child, the perception of you varies widely. I have experienced it, in ways that have surprised me after becoming a mother. Unknown people will smile at me, help me, or just generally be nice when I go out with the BB. I have always smiled and cooed with babies I have met in malls/shops or streets. I enjoy being with babies, way too much, so maybe it was just me. But the BB came along and I realised that people are usually nice to babies, at least in India they are. I can go on to my theory of positive and negative energies here, and tell you, that people love babies, because of the absolute positivity that flows out of their innocent, precious souls. But I will let that be for now.

When we go out, and people play with the BB, I just let it be, some one would just run their hand through his hair, or just touch his cheeks as he runs around, and I let it be, because I see them as gestures of love. And I know for sure that had I been living in India, these happenings would be a lot more frequent and more vigorous. This place however is crazy land. To explain the title of my post, I am sick of the Arabic women in scarves, their rude, ill mannered, and disgusting behaviour. The men not so much, because I have come across nicer ones more than the mean b****** the women are. But the women are invariably the ones one should be aware of and ignore and avoid. I am still to really lose it, and abuse them in the face once, but I have definitely have had enough of their disgusting behaviour.

They either feel they are a higher race, are supremely arrogant, plain fools or just uncultured,uncouth louts unfit for civilised society. Whatever it is, they are all equally disgusting. And if saying that makes me a racist, so be it, but I stick to my opinion. This place is know for its racism, They literally adore anyone in white skin, and treat the rest with disdain. Even raffle coupons at malls, need your nationality in its details. I wounder how my nationality affects a lottery result, or their ability to inform me, in case I win. Oh! And when the DH returned from his Australia trip this time, he received a very warm welcome at the immigration, with smiles and wishes, something that never ever happens when traveling to or from India may I say. Coming back to the issue, I hate these women, and now follow a blanket rule to be simply blind to them.

Coming from India, where people are exceptionally warm to children, the initial experiences here, really put me off, till I realised that these women are bred to be such fools. Just the other day, we came back home in the evening, and entered the reception of our building. There stood a woman in a scarf with a man, and a child of about two in a pram. The BB being, what he is, ran to the kid. I smiled at the woman, as usually parents mutually do, and the expression on her face put me off so bad. I wondered if she was worried the BB might hurt the kid, so I pulled him away, and the BB enthusiastically waved a bye to the kid, and kept turning back, while we walked towards the elevators. I too said bye, to join in with him, and turned back, and it was then that I saw the expression on that b****** face that actually pissed me off. I just walked away of course, and was happy at not having reacted, and been a bad influence for the BB, but if I had the power I would have clubbed her head. Not just her, but all those women like her, the ones in scarves.

I have had so many such experiences with these women, that I really wonder if they are worthy of civilised society, have they been brainwashed, or are they just that way? I have not met one, and I say this clearly, not one single Arabic woman with a shred of decency. Living here has tarred there image in my heart forever. Never again in my life will I look at these women free of prejudice. For that matter I hope I never see much of them. I hold a strong dislike and bitterness against them, and I have good enough reasons for doing so. I never believe in generalising, but at some point, where I have had enough experiences of similar kinds, that is the only way to face what may lie ahead. I don't expect everyone out there to come cootchie coo with my son, but being mean and making faces to a child, where do these people get that from? Just want to ask, what did you mother/father/culture teach you?

Maybe they are filled with misdirected hatred, or are brainwashed racists, or whatever else, I have no good thoughts for these women nor a desire to give them an opportunity to prove themselves better in anyway, left in my heart. I have made my judgment, and I am sticking to it. And while at it, I am passing on some free advice too, stay away from Arabic women in scarves people, they are uncivilised, rude and simply disgusting. Will I pay them back in their same coin, maybe not, because I don't want to be what they are, but I really don't know how to explain this to the BB, without tainting his innocent soul. Oh! A world this prejudiced and hateful does not deserve these innocent little babies, it just simply does not. I wonder if those women actually train their children to be just as prejudiced and hateful too. And how is it even possible to be rude a child is absolutely beyond my comprehension.

Are You Ready To Be A Blogger?

Does criticism bother us a lot more than appreciation makes us happy? I really do wonder. Rude and criticism ridden comments on our blog really get to us. They solicit more reactions and time from the blogger than the nice, appreciative comments do. Some bloggers, simply don't publish the rude comments, and that is their way of dealing with it. But most of us do get bothered.

It is quite simple, most of the bloggers write about their lives, activities, emotions, their loved ones. And it is not easy to take criticism on any of those counts. But the deal is simple, owning a public blog simply means, anyone in the world can read every word of what we publish. And we need to remember that with every post we publish. From my personal experience I can say, as we spend more time blogging, we lose more and more of our inhibitions about opening up. As we put forth more and more of our self on the blog, the more vulnerable we get to attacks.

I have been very fortunate, to not have been picked on by people on my blog, or maybe I am way too boring for people to criticise, or maybe I have limited readership, and the few who comment out of them are friends, whatever the reason, I have not faced the real brunt of it. But what if I wrote a post on how the BB is an amazing child, and someone left a comment saying something rude on that post. It would indeed hurt, I know. And what would I do then? Being in the objective position that I am in at this point, I think I would need to remind myself that indeed anyone can read and have their say on any of my posts. And if I cannot deal with someone reacting negatively, maybe I should not have displayed to the entire world, a part of myself that is vulnerable to hurt and pain. But then, what would my blog contain, just some abstract thoughts, or philosophical ideas that have nothing to do with my personal life? Could be, if I enjoyed that kind of blogging, but I don't. My blog is about more than just my ideas, it is about my life, the incidents that occur in it, my emotions and more. My blog is anonymous, which means, I don't share it with most people I know in real life. I shifted to a new blog a couple of months back, and among all other reasons, was also the reason that I wanted to lose some extremely pesky relatives people who were following the old blog, and basically using the posts from there in anyway they could, to create trouble for me. After a couple of experiences my writing became very controlled, and I did not write as freely as I would have liked to. So there I had my bad experience, which did not even come in the form of a comment, and I responded by escaping.

When writing posts about personal issues, topics that are close to our hearts or sensitive issues, we need to forever remember that when putting it on a blog, it is equivalent to shouting the thing out on a crowded railway platform. Anybody, simply anybody could read it. How calmly would we discuss such topics with people we don't really trust in person. Some things, we do not share, even with our closest friends is it not? And yet we put it on our blog. A big thing which lets me do it, is my anonymity. Personally I could never blog as freely as I do now, if I did it with my name up front. The veil of anonymity makes it easier to share, write, tell. But even if anonymous, I need to remember, that not everyone reading this blog is a person who would agree with me, and at anytime, can come up with a cruel remark or comment. And it would not hurt less because the commentator, does not know my real name.

Another issue that crops up with blogging is that readers assume a familiarity, we may not be comfortable with. It is a bit like being a celebrity. If I spot Tom Cruise on the street, I get the feeling of seeing someone I know, not just because I have seen his movies, but also because there is a lot I know about him, his family, his kids, wives, even marital woes and more. And that would give me a false sense of familiarity, and being a fan, I may try to express it. Tom Cruise on the other hand would simply flee, because he does not know I exist on this planet. Happens with bloggers too. If you read someone's blog long enough, a feeling of familiarity creeps up, which is not felt by the blogger herself, and when the reader communicates with the blogger, it is with that illusion of familiarity, which the blogger herself does not feel, and that can get uncomfortable. So if I am talking about my insecurities about my in-laws on my blog, a reader I don't know, can easily comment on that in a way which comes naturally to them through their feeling of familiarity, from reading my blog long enough, but it totally blows me off. And somehow neither seem to be doing the wrong thing in this case.

Bloggers are judged by the readers. Always and but always. There is no escaping that. Again its a follow-on of the pseudo celebrity-like familiarity. Everyone has an opinion on Amitabh Bachhan. Some good, and some not so much. Similarly for every blog, it is natural to expect that not everyone reading it would have a good opinion about it. And as the posts get personal, the judgment shifts onto the blogger from just the blog. Be prepared blogger, because the world is not made of just roses, but comes with its share of thorns too.

All of these are simple trappings of having a public blog, just as there are trappings of being a celebrity. A recent conversation with a blogger friend, who was upset with condescending comments on her blog, led me onto tell her the exact same things. It happens. There was a fiasco in the blog world a while back, and pretty much everyone had an opinion, me included. While discussing the issue with someone, she asked me, "What is the need for people who are not involved to have opinions?" It is simple enough, when there is a fight between SRK and Salman Khan, don't most of us have our opinions on it?

Addendum - Do read the latest post by Monika, who blogs with her own name, and was recognised by strangers in a mall. Indeed how would I react to some stranger coming up to me on the street and saying, Ah! yes, I know the BB loves wearing your necklaces. It would definitely freak me out. What about you? A danger of putting up too many personal things on a public space?

The Comfort Blanket

The BB, has never needed a comfort blanket. there is no object or toy he is particularly attached to that he seeks comfort from. Though my mind was filled with pictures of babies hugging soft toys, and I got them aplenty for the BB, he never got interested in them. Of late though, the BB goes to bed with some comfort items of his own. They are not the same each day, but vary, based on his mood.

My box of sugar from the kitchen, he would not let go of, and I finally pried it out of his hands after he fell asleep, only after clicking a few photos though.

His favourite pals of late, the multi pin, my phone charger and the laptop cord.

There have been objects like kitchen ladles, and the cooking wok too, but I have no photos of them. I will have so much fun showing these photos to him, when grows up.

And Baby When You'Re Gone

The DH is traveling. His is half way across the globe from me right now, and I am definitely not liking it. And so here I am dedicating to him one of teenage favourites.



Now, I feel better having seen Bryan Adams, how can I possibly not? I think he was one of my first crushes, and definitely the crooner who lived with me through my teenage. However those are days of the past, and I am an old old hag, accompanied by creaking joints and everything. And the man in my life is the DH. I miss him so bad when he is away. He reminds me to water the plants, which are basically my plants, but he waters them each morning, because they thrive a lot better under his care. I have a few additional things to take care of, when he is not around. But, mostly I miss him not being home each night, and our absolutely silly conversations and the stupid movies he watches, and his fooling around with the BB, and preparing the salad, and..... well ok I simply miss him. Now hope he is back real, real soon.