Monday, May 10, 2010

And What Was Yesterday?

Going by the staple idea of an ideal mother, in the Western society, I kind of made the cut this Mother's day, by baking a batch of choco-chip cookies for the sonny. Fresh out of the oven, the whole wheat variety, to be had with a glass of milk. This was my first ever attempt at baking cookies, and the first batch burnt up, because I thought I had to let them be in, till they harden up, fortunately the second batch behaved better. The recipe comes off one of the rather accomplished bakers of the blog-world, Monika, and I completely loved this rather healthy cookie recipe she put up. And no doubt, it was super duper yummy too, to boot.

Like them?

Mother's Day, a well peddled, advertising gimmick, to celebrate one's mother, that is the way I look at it. Why? Because my child had better celebrate having me for a mother, every single day, atleast till he gets on with life on his own. At the least I can live under the illusion that he does. And inspite of thinking of the day as an advertising gimmick, I always welcome gifts, and so i greedily lapped up the many baking dishes that came in as my gift of the day!

The fact is being a mother, is all about having a part of your heart growing outside of your body. That is literally how I have come to feel, in the few years that I have been a mother. For a bit we take our hearts for granted, it will beat, pump the blood in my body, and so on. As a mother I take my child for granted at times, just like that. And a slight little pain in the heart and our anxiety levels shoot up, sky high, the child is a little unwell, and we react the same. And yes, a little trouble with either, a heartburn in our heart or a big, sad puppy face on our child, the guilt trips they can take us on, are rather enormous. We walk, exercise, eat well to keep our heart healthy. We mind our language, behave well and generally try to be good role models for our children. How different are they really then from our hearts, besides the fact that they grow outside our bodies, and as they keep growing, they also spend a lot of time being physically farther and farther apart from us. At many many times, being a mother is equivalent to being on one of those horror rides of amusement parks, because you never know what to expect next, and the scares can be big. And yet, just like the heart, a child fills us with love, softness, tenderness and kindness, like nothing else ever can.

Being a mother is so far, no mean task for me, for most importantly I still just cannot let go. I will get there I know, someday, someway, maybe because I simply have to, but not just right now. It has brought me on my knees, broken me down, scared me to my bones, made me grow guilt the size of an elephant, it has taken a toll on my body and health, has made me perpetually teary eyed and yet it has made me more loving, giving, kinder, softer, gentler, and filled me with joys like nothing else I have ever known before. It is not easy, being a mother, really it is not, and I will not mask it with words like, but the smile makes it all worth it, because really when you have not had a decent night's sleep in months, and your baby decides midnight is the right time to exercise his lungs by crying out loud, and refusing to keep quiet unless held by you, for hours at a stretch, the smile does not quite cut it, at that moment. And yet,in ways that I did not quite realise, motherhood caught me unaware, and converted me into a creature, which is a mix of a doe, in constant fear, because a piece of her heart is outside her body(remember???), a tigress who can kill to protect her cubs and an ewe, who lovingly nurtures her lambs. Am I happy with that? Well honestly, and cross my heart, I am. I do miss the times, when my entire heart was in my body, and did not need feeding, cleaning, teaching, disciplining, being put to sleep and a million more things, because those were carefree days, but I think I am too deep into motherhood now, to ever be able to go back to that. I am in 24X7 job.

And knowing what it is, let me raise a toast to every mother out there in the world, man or animal, biological or adopted, female or male, because it is not easy being you. And each one of you, in your own special way, love and cherish your child like only you could, and make the world a better place being the loving tender shade of care for your child. Happy Mother's Day!


And that is the little creature who makes me a mother. The piece of my heart, growing outside of me.

12 comments:

Sagarika said...

Aah BB is one lucky sonny... Need I say more? N someday hell grow up to say this to you through words n more :)

Momo's Ma said...

wow. nice cookies n nice post. happy mothers day to you :)

Tamanna Mishra said...

"The fact is being a mother, is all about having a part of your heart growing outside of your body."

I want to be a Mom. RIGHT now!

Absolutely loved the post, you super cool cookie baking mommy you! :) Happy Mothers Day!

MRC said...

GM,

You said it! Going to check out the cookie recipe later.

The Soul of Alec Smart said...

Well said GM! You know something? The exact proposition of a part of your heart growing outside of you is what makes motherhood so scary and overwhelming!

Oh, the cookies.. they look better than the store ones! Please to be sending a batch my way too.. I'm craving them now :) Let me check out the recipe on Monika's blog right away, and see what I can do now. :)

Passionate Goof said...


Sagarika - Touchwood to the thought, hope he really feels that way.

Momo's ma - Thanks, and wish you the same sweets!

Tamanna - Thank you very much. Things always look better from a distance, trust me. :D

MRC - :D, i am sure you know what I mean.

SAS - It is indeed scary for that very reason. About the cookies, do check out the recipe, its super duper simple, and I would love to bake some for you!

Smitha said...

Aww! Such a sweet post! And such a cute young man :)

You are a lovely mom! You made cookies for mothers day :) I am such a lazy mom, did nothing on Mothers day :) I am really bad with these days :)

Have to try the cookies - it sounds wonderful! I bought choc chip cookies , but have not had a chance ot try them yet.

liveonimpulse said...

That's a touching post now ..The cookies look so delicious and you've captured the very essence of motherhood ..BB is indeed lucky to have a loving mum like yu

Reflections said...

The cookies look yummy;-)!!!!

Mothers day wishes to u too, belated I knw but heartfelt:-))!!!

Piper .. said...

the cookie looks yummy! :) Didnt know you bake so well :)
This post was one of the most beautiful ones I`ve read. Somewhere inside(and even though I`m not a mother), it touched a chord. Hugs. The lil one is one lucky guy to have a mom like you!

Deeps said...

That was a beautiful post, GM..straight from the heart! BB is as lucky to have you as his Mom as you are to have him :).

You made those cookies?? Yummm!

Look at that budding photographer..major focussing,huh! LOL

Passionate Goof said...


Smitha - Hey, its just a name to a day, we love our kids just as much every single day, and we bake cookies for them, any other day too isn't it? The cookies are really nice.

liveonimpulse - Hey, that is one HUGE compliment, thanks a ton!

Reflections - I know your wishes are heartfelt, and I wish you the same!

Piper - ;) Thanks for the compliment lady. means a lot. Its a easy-peasy recipe though, and I am sure the real bakers would do a much better job.And where are you these days, gone missing!

Deeps - Thanks a lot, and yes I am lucky to have him, he would be a better judge of whether he is lucky or not! :P