The Sound Of 'Something'

Looks like I have to eat my words, and fortunately for once, I am doing so rather happily. When I recently wrote the post, which stated, I was expecting a disappointment heading my way, I was rather sure, it would come my way, and I would mope and moan about it for a really really long time to come. I even had a super duper post title prepared in my mind to share my woes with the world. It was to be called, 'The Sound Of Nothing'. And since things turned out to be different from my expectations, so did the title of the projected post.

Now to bring you in the loop, about what happened. Since the last few months, I have been a little edgy, feeling the need to add more to my life, wanting to do more. Even the blogging has slowed down, often enough I have opened up to write a post, and been unable to go beyond a few lines. The reason being my mind is dulled, and yet agitated. My mind works the best when it has a lot to do, when I lay it to rest, it just does not start up easy. As simple as that. Coming back to 'my thing', I was not sure, how exactly to add to my life. Time-wise, I have pretty packed days as is. I am a really slow worker, you see, but I needed something to keep me happy, something to feed the mind and heart. I had planned on studying a course, close to my heart, but it did not work out for certain reasons. And so I was back to square one. Went back to looking for options. The only one being work, and even there I have a million constraints. I don't want to go back to where I once was, and I cannot work full-time, and I cannot work from home, and I cannot travel too far, since I don't yet drive, and......... well so you get the picture. The thing is, I wanted to start working, in a field, where I would be interacting with people as persons, I wanted to get into something along the lines of social work, counseling and such. Tough luck again, because I have never even dipped a toe in that river. But I kept looking.

And I came across a women's help group. They recruit and train volunteers, and the whole set-up really appealed to me. I called them up, and they sent me information brochures, from which I learnt, they were about to take in a new set of trainees. Obviously I applied. So the week before last I attended an orientation session, where they told us, everything about themselves, the training, and the work thereafter. I filled up my forms, and was requested to attend a group interview the next week, for them to assess, if I fit the bill. Surprisingly, for a place where an applicant needs to pay for training and then commit to a whole year of volunteer work, they had double the number of applicants, to the number of positions they needed to fill. It has been ages, and really ages, since I attended a formal interview of any sort. And here, I did not even know how to prepare. But knowing myself, I know I perform best impromptu and so I left it at that. Last Tuesday afternoon was my interview.

Things can mess up horribly, when you are really looking forward to it. I had to drop the BB to his day care centre and then take the tram to my interview. I needed to leave home, the latest by 12:30 to be able to make it in time. The BB however had coughing fits throughout the previous night, fell asleep only at around 8 in the morning, and I had to force him awake at quarter to 12. Fed, him dressed him and finally left home only past 1. I knew, I was running very very late. Had to call a cab to the centre to pick me up. Made it to the venue just in time, and the rest of the group was waiting. Started off, and what did I know, there were women with so many qualifications and and such vast experience in the field, that I felt like a complete fool, even being there. There are confidentiality issues here, and so I cannot go into details, but believe me, there was no one, as inappropriate to fit the bill as me. I just prayed, that, my true zeal for the work shows. When we were done, the ladies interviewing us, told us that the ones selected, would be called up and informed, before the end of the week, which basically meant by 5pm Friday. And I thought it would be better to get some confirmation of a rejection, instead of no intimation at all. And hence came the title, 'The Sound Of Nothing', to my mind.

Thursday afternoon, a friend and her little one were around, and the house was one hurricane hit place, with the BB and Aadya having the time of their lives. We were sitting around sipping tea, when my phone rang, and I wondered who it was, since I receive very few calls, and when I do, they are usually ones that I am expecting. I picked up my phone, and saw the number belonged to the training coordinator of the organisation. And I knew that I had made the final cut, and my joys knew no bounds. I pretty much gushed through the entire call, where I was offered an opportunity to volunteer. The lady at the other end, infact even commented, that she was happy to find me so excited. Once the call ended, I hugged everyone around the house. Called up, the out-of-town GP and informed him of the good news and bounced like a ball around the house a few times. Then in my usual fill of low self-esteem, went on to dissect the reason I had been selected, such as, I am not working or studying anywhere, so they can be sure I have the time to dedicate and such like, till finally I think Trishna got tiered of it, and said, "Maybe, it is because you were good!". It felt so nice, just hear someone say that, and I felt even better.

So basically it has been a cloud nine thing for me, since the call. I am settling down, and also realising the fact, that this is not fetching me any money or anything, and yet this is just the kind of work I want to do, and it does not need me to commit much time. The training will be a little rigorous, but even that will just need me to commit one working day in the week. And that is just such a great way for me to start off at this point. I am just not prepared to leave the BB everyday of the week and go, and the fact that really gives me comfort, is that the GP's workplace is close to his Care Centre, and that way one of us will be close by at all times. And that brings me to, my beloved GP. He has been happier than me about this, more supportive than I can imagine. I had almost dropped going for the interview, since the BB was coughing so much the night before, but he persuaded me to just go and give it a try anyways. And had it not been for his pushing, I may have, just not gone.

Since a baking spree is on currently, I decided to bake a cake, to celebrate my own success. This one is made with whole wheat flour instead of the all purpose flour/maida, and hence healthier than the average cake. Frosting is a newly learnt skill, so I indulged myself there, and decorated with a few gems. It tastes absolutely heavenly, and everyone who tasted it, rated it as the best one I have baked here so far! So please be a part of my joy, and dig in.