Monday, May 31, 2010

Trying To Keep Mum!

I have heard or read somewhere, that the more often we talk about the unpleasant experiences of our lives, the deeper goes its impact. Somehow talking about it, seems to keep reviving the memories of the incident, maybe even, some other unpleasant ones connected to it and just digs deeper into our minds. Its like if I have a fight with a stranger on the street about something, and seethe about it. Then I come back home and tell the GP about it, the anger is revived anew, then I speak to a friend the next day and tell her about it too, and once again the mind gets agitated. And hence each time I talk about it, the agitation, anger, frustration just goes deeper inside my mind. Creating a deeper pocket of negativity.

I think the concept is true, it does indeed happen, the more we talk about it, the more we end up thinking about it, and the more it keeps bothering us. So how easy is it, then to just shut up and not talk about it? Not easy at all, I think. Something happened today, something that would seem rather small, but it got my goat, besides that it triggered a memory of similar past incidents, and just got into the snowball effect. I am trying to get my mind away from it, but then the mind does have a mind of its own. Its easy to fall into the vortex of anger, negative thinking, self pity, bitchiness. So I have taken a proactive step, something I have never done before. I have decided not to talk aloud about it. It is coming to my mind now and again, and it will be easy to just call up someone and talk about it, but I am not doing it. I did tell the GP first off, because it was just too fresh in my mind at that point, but post that I decided to try this experiment, of keeping mum about it. It is hard, very hard, but I am trying. And I am hoping that it works, and I get over it sooner, and better. The three hours of watching Avataar definitely helped.

Tell me how you deal with situations that bother you? Is it always a good idea to tell a friend and lighten your heart and mind? What are the tricks up your sleeve, please do share!

11 comments:

liveonimpulse said...

Aww GM don't be so harsh in talking about something that troubles.. It is a must to give vent to one's anger/ negativity..bottling up things from my experience only makes them worse..There is no harm in confiding in a friend or if not that I just write down what is troubling me on a pice of paper so that it's out of my system and tear the paper to shreds so that I don't keep reminding myself of it time and again.. By the way it is great to read your posts again :)

liveonimpulse said...

Aww GM don't be so harsh in talking about something that troubles.. It is a must to give vent to one's anger/ negativity..bottling up things from my experience only makes them worse..There is no harm in confiding in a friend or if not that I just write down what is troubling me on a pice of paper so that it's out of my system and tear the paper to shreds so that I don't keep reminding myself of it time and again.. By the way it is great to read your posts again :)

Sagarika said...

Hey GM {{{{{{hugs}}}}}} … yup guess we all have gone through this and handle it in our own style. For me I usually sit with a mug of coffee all alone and talk to myself like a third person. I befriend myself as an individual coz I am hugely an introvert when it comes to sharing and somewhere I strongly feel that all answers lie within .. also that no body will understand myself the way I do. But yea a hug from a loved one hastens the discovery of answers :) always … take care keep smiling and sleep over it also

Deeps said...

GM, my primary vent-turf is R :))
so whenever I'm disturbed he is the one I go to and vent myself out. And it does calm me a lot. And he is not around I just speak to my mom and she stabilizes my to a great extent.

So if you ask me, yes talking it out to has helped me deal with my problems in a much better way than keeping mum about it.

Hope that helped :)

Pixie said...

Hugs!

I talk about it. Simple. It makes me feel better :)
And writing helps - either directly or indirectly I would have spoken about my problem.
And sometimes, very rarely (like a problem in my head now) I don't talk about it. I sort it out in my head and pretend it never happened.
Which isn't good of course... but, it really helps because writing or talking about it means you are putting the problem out to an audience who might not understand...

See what works for you - sometimes a combination of both works wonders (talking and not-talking) :)

Tamanna Mishra said...

I talk too. I talk and think and crib and fret over something till people stop paying attention to me.

But maybe you are right you know, it really doesn't help. In fact I tell everyone I lose my temper so that I can leave my excess baggage right there, and move on. But that's not really true. I fret over things for days, and get angry every single time. I think I really should start looking at it differently too. Thanks for pointing it out..

And cheer up! :)

Shrutzz said...

don't worry , you have told your hubby and am sure u will be better:)
How do I handle this?
Am going through a bad phase personally ( Infact me and hubby together)..V decided not to talk about it nor tell anyone, since it gonna INCREASE the pain we going through..Its going to be months, we come out of it but till then, its just each other and the moment you think of the "PHASE", we just let go of it forcefully from mind....

GM....cheer up

hitch writer said...

luckily i married my best friend... and no matter what I am almost able to tell her everything.. and leave her with whatever anguish, frustration etc... and it ends up quite well tooo :P ;)

Smitha said...

I talk - I need to talk it out :) Most of the time, I have found that I feel lighter after talking about something unpleasant. But yes, there are times when it snowballs, and increases in dimension, making me feel even more miserable.. But most of the time talking helps.. I also read or play scrabble to take my mind off things that I want to stop thinking about :) And if all that fails - chocolate almost definitely helps :) Wonderful to see a post from you GM - I miss your regular posts :)

Sagarika said...

Hope you ok and doing good :) {{{{{hugs}}}}}

Reflections said...

Hehe...I just put it out of my mind; like u said when I talk abt it I keep thinking about it more so I just dont bring it to the fore. And in 2 days I'd have forgotten all abt it....and even if I think abt it later on it doesnt really have the same intensity as it had on the 1st day.

U tek care!!!!!!