Sunday, November 29, 2009

Homeless At The End Of The Year Of The Itch

Officially gave up the keys to the only home I have ever owned, today evening, and believe me its not a happy feeling. Especially not when its my seventh wedding anniversary, the DH is in a different continent altogether, and pretty much no one even remembered the day. I have been steely strong, knee deep in work the whole day, but I think this post will eventually leave me weeping. What do I write about, the home or the anniversary? I had long back planned on doing a mushy open letter to the DH, especially since we completed the proverbial year of the itch, but today just cannot bring myself to it.

The house I gave up today, holds some of the sweetest memories of my life, the first own home, the first big thing the DH and I got ourselves, the first home the BB came to, the one which was always my shelter from the world, words cannot do justice to the emotions attached to the place, or rather I am not skilled enough to use the right words. The place has been taken by a family friend, which made me believe that the whole transition would be very happy and smooth for me, unfortunately though it has not been so, and has left a really bitter taste in my mouth. I had to keep my possessions in that place, till they were ready for shipping, but neither patience nor grace were to be had. With the DH gone, it became increasingly difficult for me to request a few more days of waiting. I waited with bated breath literally for the relocators, to pack and just move the things out of that place, so I could hand over the last remaining key to the new owner. Today its done, and I have given up the keys. My home is not mine anymore, unfortunately the hand over has not been in the sweetest way it could have been. But life I guess moves on, and I have to too, and at this minute, I just send my love to my old home, for all the happy moments I have spent there, and all the moments of despair, when it has kept me cosy in its warmth and safety. I don't have the DH here by me, to share this moment unfortunately.

And yes, the DH away, its our anniversary and I don't like it. The day was not special in anyway today, with me being busy shuttling to and from my ex-home as the packers came in , and then the movers, and then to remove the last traces of our existence from that home. The time difference between him and me, gives us a very small window of time that is convenient for both of us to talk, add to that my super hectic day today, and him being knee deep trying to find a decent accommodation for us, we hardly managed a decent conversation in the whole day. Its not quite so simple having romantic conversations when all stressed out, being miserable missing each other and being surrounded by people. Its strange how most of my anniversaries have been jinxed, we were apart even on our very first one, and another couple in-between. But what the heck? Seven years, a baby and still going strong, shouldn't I be really happy about that? I have a man who is as honest as can be, he is more liberal than am I, quite saintly in most ways and the most loving and calming person I have ever had in my life. To be honest I don't think I am letting him go for a few lifetimes, so whats not being together for an anniversary or two? Well, I atleast attempt to find the best of every situation, and staying sad and miserable does not agree with me for too long.

Now I am just counting days for the three of us to re-unite and hopefully we would not have to be apart again, atleast like this for a really really long time.

8 comments:

roop said...

look at it this way, goofie, when you see him now in a few days, u'd have the best **#$#$** imaginable!! :D :D :D wut better than that for an anniversary present even if belated hee hee?!?!

i am sorry for the loss of first home but there's many new memories to be made, goof. more memories that'd replace the ones left behind. i never find me attached to anything material although p's like you. :D all emo-drama about our 'first this', 'first that', holding on to useless pc of crap for emo-reasons. blah. i am the junk-thrower of the house. i love the trash can!! hehe

hey moving gets a lot easier when a trash can is used efficiently. ;p

same goes for memories. treasure them if they make you happy, trash 'em if they make you even a wee bit sad and make new happy ones. :) with the 'first house' gone, now you guys will have a 'second house' and you would do it up much nicer than the first house now cuz now u know much better about what kind of a house you really want having lived in one.

plan your dream home, look forward towards it, and memories will surely re-form themselves.

miss ya!! hope to see you soon. :)

much luv

roop said...

look at it this way, goofie, when you see him now in a few days, u'd have the best **#$#$** imaginable!! :D :D :D wut better than that for an anniversary present even if belated hee hee?!?!

i am sorry for the loss of first home but there's many new memories to be made, goof. more memories that'd replace the ones left behind. i never find me attached to anything material although p's like you. :D all emo-drama about our 'first this', 'first that', holding on to useless pc of crap for emo-reasons. blah. i am the junk-thrower of the house. i love the trash can!! hehe

hey moving gets a lot easier when a trash can is used efficiently. ;p

same goes for memories. treasure them if they make you happy, trash 'em if they make you even a wee bit sad and make new happy ones. :) with the 'first house' gone, now you guys will have a 'second house' and you would do it up much nicer than the first house now cuz now u know much better about what kind of a house you really want having lived in one.

plan your dream home, look forward towards it, and memories will surely re-form themselves.

miss ya!! hope to see you soon. :)

much luv

Sraboney said...

At least you will always have your memories...

Happy Anniversary!

D said...

Cheer up girl! You're going to make a new home for yourself and have so much more to look forward to. I'm sure you'll be creating some beautiful memories with your family in your new home. And I know, being apart on an anniversary is not the best way for things to be, but we have to take such things in our stride because we're grown-ups. That's the tough part of being adults - not being able to whine and cry and instead acting all mature about it.

Take care. And keep us posted on what's happening.

Shalom said...

Belated anniversary wishes! You're striving for a better life for your family & no pain, no gain, right? That's how I'm steeling myself from now on....gonna be in this same boat pretty soon, away from hubby for New Year's & our anniversary, but its for the same reason, hoping to improve our lives, so some sacrifices are needed, I guess. Hang in there :)

hitch writer said...

ROFL !! I agree with Roop there !!!! :P :P :P

Happy Belated Anniversary !!!! :D :D :D

Passionate Goof said...


Sraboney - indeed the memries will always be there. And thanks. :)

Roop - Can trust you to say something like that. Uff, I am all blushing here now. I have had to trash way too many things as is, moving from here to there, to God knows where.... and have become quite comfy with the process.

D - Yes ma'am.Being grown-up is so so not nice. :(

Shalom - You moving too? All the best, I hope it all works out great for you guys. :)

Hitchy - Uff... pagal! Thanks. :)

Reflections said...

Belated anniversary wishes!!!!!

Take care:-)!!!!