OK, so I need to crib, and I thought of giving the DH a little break, since he is usually at the receiving end at most times. So here I am to my other option, and hoping no one comes up with smart a** comments here. And if you do, I am not publishing it!!
The thing is, I had written a while back about a certain old ring, that fit into my finger after ages, and I was so very happy about it. Seems happiness is a short lived commodity in my life these days, and the ring fit me for exactly three days, and has gone back to being too tight to slip on. Yes it is just not fitting back on. What did I do to my fingers I wonder, to make them get back to their bloated state of being. There has not been a great fluctuation in the weight either, so I don't really know. And I am so damn sad. I am completely deviating from my usual nature, and cribbing my heart out about this. Why and why me? Why does this have to happen to me?
And now I have a terrible back/neck pain, so I am pretty much vegetating these days. Which means a lot of weight gain for me. Because the ill-effects are two fold for me. On the days that I do exercise or walk or cycle or do anything at all as a form of physical activity aimed at weight loss, I eat healthier, on days that I do nothing, I hog. Strange but true. Working out should make one hungry and hence lead to eating more, but it works out the other way for me. I guess when I do sweat my gut out, I am better motivated to make it work by eating healthy too. So here I am without the ring, with a pain, sitting and doing pretty much nothing. I do have a right to crib you know. I have taken all the rings off my fingers, because I don't want to see them and keep feeling bad.
Usually I enjoy being happy, I can make fun of serious situations, and smile through the worst. And yet there are other times. Like now, a phase I am going through, where fate is dealing me with one blow after another, while I can just come up with something to put the previous one away, something worse is already up front to battle. It is just getting to me now. I am smiling, trying to stay happy, and go on, without pulling everyone around into the gloominess with me, but it is getting tough. Another reason I am happy I can crib here. I know I can deal with it all, but I just need them coming at me a bit slower. I need a breather, really really do, before I am convinced that I am goner. Who am I kidding, I can never believe that, its just a temporary thing, while I am still down, but I know I will be back up again.
On that note, hear this
So now that I have written it, some things openly, others a bit cryptic, I feel a bit better. What would I do without a blog, I wonder now. See, I can always see a silver lining in the clouds. I am still hoping for a rainbow with a pot of gold at the end of all this. I think this is some kind of OCD I have, being overly positive, looking for something good at the end of everything.