Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Monters, Them All!

Just watched a little bit of Deepa Mehta's Water last night on the telly last night, being telecast as a foreign film. The movie basically deals with the plight of Indian widows, and the terrible rules that bound them in the pre-independence era. I just watched the last half an hour, and I think that left me sleepless for the better part of the night.

Though there are absolutely no graphic displays or even anything remotely suggestive or titillating, but the portrayal shook me to the core. The main story line though, does not revolve around this, I think this part of the movie touched something too deep in the mother in me.

The little girl in the photo above (the photo is linked to the site from where I have picked it.) is a child widow, who goes by the name Chuhiya. She lives in a home for widows, where the oldest one is possibly more than ninety. A prevelant concept of the time says, that if a Brahmin man rapes sleeps/fornicates with a widow, it ensures salvation for them(the widows). Maybe that or the old woman gets a cut out of it, she fools the little Chuhiya, into believing she will be allowed to go home, but can have fun playing and having sweets before that, and sends her off with the devious eunuch to the old brahmin's house, to 'ensure her salvation'. They show the little girl bring brought back by the eunuch in a boat, lying down doubled up, possibly asleep or unconscious or even dead. It stirred something so primal and deep in the mother in me, that I cannot even put it in words. I just wanted to pick her up (the way Seema Biswas incidentally, does in the movie), hug her, console her, and atleast try and wash all the pain away. And once she was better, I would go and present the old B*#@#@d with the most horrific death he can imagine or maybe even worse.

Deepa Mehta must have done an amazing job here, because I don't remember the last time I felt that deeply after watching a movie. And the fact that it was not sensationalised either sexually or even violently, just makes me realise how well it must have been done, to affect me in the way it did. I think it has also a lot to do with the fact that I am a mother now, the instinct to protect and nurture somehow comes naturally. A boon and yet a curse of nature in its own right. The way a slight against a minor affects me now, never did even when I was a child myself. (I always believed myself to be invincible ofcourse, like every other child.) But now, something inside me just cannot handle it. The BB was asleep by the time I got down to watching the movie, else I would have been hugging him tight, just to soothe my nerves, and know that at least, my baby is safe. Needless to say, I was crying bucket loads, and the GP just kept reminding me its just fiction, and he could change the channel if it was bothering me so much.

But, what, and I literally mean what kind of a 'human being', would actually force himself on an innocent little child? Who and how, can anyone do that? They are just as bad, if not much much worse than murderers, killers and terrorists. I hope every pedophile in the world, is castrated, and left to bleed to death on streets, where people come and p#*s on their carcass. They deserve worse in my books. But more importantly, and more than killing them, I want to stop any innocent child from being hurt and abused. Knowing that some little kid, somewhere, in some corner of the world maybe facing sexual abuse, even as I sit and type this, is making me feel physically sick. And no wonder they say, being a mother is not easy, it really is not. I can never be what I was again, in this lifetime.

And after this terrible post, which can definitely not have made you feel good, here is something to soothe the nerves. I heard it on loop all morning to feel better. It helped, the mellifluous tune, played my most favourite instrumentalist of all time. I am simply an ardent fan of Ustaad Bismillah Khan. May his soul rest in peace.


Monika said...

the face of chuhiya haunted me for days after i saw the movie

Momo's Ma said...

i too remember watching the film with moist eyes and a feeling of disgust at how such things can happen, in the so called name of salvation and such other humbug, and it was disturbing for quite a few days.had such a similar feeling again when i read the Kite Runner. what drives such inhuman people to do such acts is beyond my understanding. and the sad part is most of this goes unnoticed and hardly ever the perpetrator is punished for his crimes.
btw, ur blogs are so interesting and though provoking. n u write on such varied topics with such ease and simplicity. :) sorry for the long comment. :(

Piper .. said...

I couldnt watch the whole movie.. but now I will. Yet another thought provoking post. I`m on that list Goof - shall send it to you soon :):)

Passionate Goof said...

Monika - I so wish i had not seen the movie. The portrayal is brilliant isn't it?

Momo's ma - Good you told me about the Kite Runner , i am never picking up that book now. Somehow I have developed a complete distaste for watching or reading anything disturbing, no matter how real it is. there are enough problems too live with, i don't need to know more.
Thanks on the compliment, really means a lot, because I personally think I am quite a bad writer. :( And keep the comments long, because it feels nice to know what others think.

Piper - Don't. Its terribly disturbing. i wish i had not watched the movie myself. :( Thought provoking yes,possibly, but well written.... NO!

Trish said...

The movie really is very well made..gives me goose bumps even when i think about it..and more as I read this post.It is very well written indeed.
And the movie..left me disturbed for a long time.

MRC said...


"I am a mother now, the instinct to protect and nurture somehow comes naturally. And the way a slight against a minor affects me now, never did....."

I've noticed this too, ever since Artim was born, ANY news or image about a child being abandoned/hurt or worse brings tears to my eyes. Motherhood just gives one a different perspective , possibly because watching a baby grow makes one realise how truly innocent and helpless a child is.

I had watched the movie a few years back when I was sitting all alone , dont remember much of it except that last scene where someone is running with the little girl in her hands trying to get Bapu to take her along and save her from that life, and that I wished that I hadnt watched it all by myself.

Passionate Goof said...

Trish - Honestly, I don't think I would have been toooo bothered had I seen this before the BB was born, but now....

MRC - Yes, the last scene was Seema Biswas carrying her. Being a mother alters us in ways beyond the physical, and permanently. We can someday get back the body or the waistline(realistically, not possible for me.), but the vulnerability of the heart is there to last a lifetime. Its a boon and a curse at the same time.

Renu said...

People like that old man exist..did you read today's news..a man in high security area of airport molested a 9 yr old girl whom he was escorting..I couldnt believe it..I mean where he knew CCTV will capture him and it did..and the mother was also there just a little behind.

Pixie said...

Hugs Goofy!

The movie, I haven't watched yet.. the story line scared me and I knew it would affect me deeply...
Maybe, its time I did watch the movie...

People like that old man are sick in their heads. pedophiles exist in alarming numbers sadly!
I totally agree with what you say...

And will check the vidoe at home :)

Passionate Goof said...

Renu - Didn't teh mother just kill that man. I know I would kill a man like that, if he touched my baby, I would gouch his eyes out.

Pixie - I would not advice you to watch it. Though as a work of art, its possibly a great movie, but personally i found it too depressing..... Such men are indeed disgusting.

Anonymous said...


Have been reading your blog for quite sometime but never left any comments. But I can relate to everything you write . I have the same emotions like you when it comes to lot of different issues and you seem to pen it down so well.

I saw this movie 5 yrs back and till date the little face of the little girl haunts me. It makes my stomach churn. But I am also greatful for all those men who abolished sati and created more tolerance towards widows. Thanks to those great people who made our life different. We have come a long way from what we faced just 60yrs back as a women. I saw sunita krishnan speech from TED didn't sleep well for more than a week. This still happens to numerous children in India .

Living in US I hear and read news on daily basis regarding molesting young children .

I agree with you regardign how these monsters should be treated. I wish all the countries impose harder and painful punishment like Saudi Arabia when it comes molesting little innocent kids. The worst thing is the people in faith doing these cruel thing but still walking free .

Dateline NBC has a program called "Catching predators" which shows the realtime faces such criminal who are doctors, teachers, priests from all walks of life .


Anonymous said...

thanks for the beautiful piece by Ustaad Bismillah Khan. My ammuma and appupa (maternal grandparents)were great fans of ustaad.


Smitha said...


I haven't seen the movie, but I can so imagine what you felt. I feel exactly that every time I hear a molestation/abuse of a child. How how can somebody do it? To say, it scares me, is an understatement. The sad thing is that it happens to so many children, across the world. I read about a article where a mother abuses(sexually) a child and to say I was shaken would be an understatement.. How can a mother do such a thing is beyond me..

Passionate Goof said...

Anon/CS - Hi there. Thanks for commenting, and letting me know you like what I read. Big ego boost that! I agree we have come a long way from some terrible social problems we had. But pedophilia is not an issue restricted by geography, its a human nature, and a disgusting one at that. The harshest punishment is what these people deserve.
I like your names for your grandparents. :D

Smitha - A mother? Really? OMFG!