Boundaries, Of The Non-Cricketing Kinds.

'How much is too much', is something I have always wondered about in relation to my blogging. How much can I write, what can I write, are there any boundaries, are there things that should be kept away? These questions keep popping up in my mind time and again. I read all kinds of blogs, once that talk about everything personal, and some that speak about almost nothing personal, and then some, which seem to play hide and seek about the personal bits. Of all the blogs I have read, I don't think any chronicles, every move or thought of the blogger. And yet some blogs talk a bit more than other

So what are the taboo topics? I don't really know. I know what I write, I write with honesty, but what I don't feel comfortable about, I just keep it away. The blog has its therapeutic value to me, and yet, more often than not I don't spill, when I really need to get something off my chest. I did it once recently, but I think I made the post too cryptic for anyone to get the real picture, from that post. That was possibly my way of drawing the line.

There are some blogs which talk in depth about the life of bloggers, so much in fact that when I read them, I know for sure I could never be so open on my own blog. Not because I don't want to write about it, but because I fear that I would be read by someone, I don't really want should know so much about me. Somethings that come straight from the heart, can be shared with people who have no practical/real-life connections with me, but the ones who do, they may just use it in ways, that will hurt the exact place from where the post came. And hence I always try to keep my real life separate from the blogging one, not absolutely and completely possible, but I don't go around advertising my blog to people I know either. In fact besides the GP, I have not really mentioned to anyone in particular that I blog.

While there can be no absolute rights or wrongs about what one says in their blog, nor are there any rules about what is permissible or not in blogging, everyone ends up setting their own boundaries I guess. While one bloggers may openly talk about certain aspects of their lives, others may never touch upon it, and yet both may claim to have personal blogs. So what is it that stops us from writing about somethings? Have you ever had the urge to write about something, but then refrained yourself from doing it? I know I have, not once or twice, but many times. I have sat down to write something and then have not. Infact recently I have written a whole post, not just a draft, but an entire post, even spell checked it and everything, put in the links, but am not publishing it, because I don't feel comfortable doing it. The reasons for not writing or publishing posts have varied, sometimes, it just a rant, which felt stupid to let out once I had actually written the post, at others, something too personal, and at yet other times, I have felt constricted, just because I never know who may come across and read the post, which I maybe comfortable sharing with friends, but not everyone else.

Some people say its best not to wash dirty linen in public, or that somethings should remain personal and stuff, which is very prudent and sensible. And possibly the way to go. Just as an example, I keep wondering, how come none of the married Indian women I read, never say a negative word about their in-laws. I have seen loads of bitching happening on chats, but nothing ever spills onto the blogs. I would like to believe, no one would like to publicly berate something that is dear to their spouse, and additionally I admire the resolve not to get petty, and keep their blog a space free of rants. And this is just one example of how we draw our boundaries, there are a million other things.

Each blogger has a different set of rules set for them. And thus while many may seem very very open, there are certain aspects of their personal lives which simply never, ever get portrayed on the blog. And in many ways the boundaries that we set on our blog, defines a bit about who we are as people too. As a blogger, I am sure you have yours too, so what are your boundaries? Have you ever written posts that were never published, or do you know just what you will never put on your blog, and so never bother to write that stuff? Where do you draw the line?

On a separate, but blog related note, I want express my admiration for two mommy-bloggers, who have recently blogged about issues they are having with their children. Instances of impolite/rowdy behaviour, very typical and to be expected at their kids' age. Ladies, you know its you, and though I have not said it on your blog, let me say it here, I really appreciate you for writing that and putting it up on your blog. Firstly because its not easy to say one bad word about your own child, and openly to the whole world at that, additionally to express points in your mothering graph where you accept defeat or helplessness. And most importantly, the reason I completely admire those posts is, that for every other mother, who will definitely be in a similair spot some day or the other, those posts will give hope, and let them know they are not alone. Those are tough spots, and open acknowledgment is rare, I just want to say, its really wonderful of you to have put those posts up.