Thursday, February 4, 2010

Humour, That Makes Me Cringe

Something which causes amusement, makes people laugh, or has a hilarious quality to it, is what is called humorous. There is no two ways about the fact that there are many many different kinds of humour, and each has its own kind of appeal, more importantly, each one us enjoy different kinds of humour. And while somethings may make me laugh till I have tears in my eyes, it may do absolutely nothing to someone else. While I am very bad at making people laugh, whether through my writing, or even trying to re-tell tried and tested jokes(they fall flat the way I narrate them), I simply love having my laughs, and I can never stop admiring, people who have the ability to make others laugh or put a smile on their faces. It is indeed a rare gift.

I can laugh at pretty much everything, I enjoy getting my laughs, but humour at the cost of someone else, just never ever amuses me, infact it infuriates me. Toilet humour, grosses me out terribly, but I understand, when people find it funny. But laughing by poking fun at others, something I just cannot stand. It happens pretty much everywhere, all around the place, and it simply sickens me. It has the cruelty label of high-school bullies, it has the markings of insensitivity, and add to that, its usually a group of many picking on one.

Laughing at one self is a quality few posses, and those who do, live their entire life like a laugh, but laughing on others is just a quality of the weak minded bullies in my opinion. One of the most obvious ways to poke fun of someone is by targeting their weight, this obviously applies to the overweight or obese. No one, enjoys being fat, being laughed at about that does indeed hurt. Then of course, there is being picked on because one does not fit in to whatever surroundings the person is in, it can be colour, place, accent, family, anything, absolutely anything at all. Its not funny to laugh on others, it simply is not. And even if you are not the one actively doing it, but just joining in with the laughs, it is not done.

When I was working, and that was eons ago, I remember one of my colleagues, who joined us, and was this very very tall man, shy, reserved and he hardly spoke. He was not good looking, or impressive, belonged to in fact he was reticent. Coming from a small town in Rajasthan, he could not speak English too well, and hence preferred keeping to himself. The older guys in the project, felt it was their birth right to poke fun at him. This was done openly, and their attitude about it, was like that is what is expected of them. It sickened me to the core. I was a fresher, much much junior in the corporate hierarchy, and kept quiet. The guy himself, passed feeble smiles at every joke, and pretended to enjoy them himself. I can never forget those incidences, and more importantly, I cannot forget the nauseating feeling it created within me. Picking on the weaker for a few laughs, what else would better define a bully?

Whatever the reason, I have never been able to join in with laughs, at the expense of someone else, even if they are my sworn enemy. I think its just cheap and demeaning to laugh at someone, it is insensitive and mean. My personal opinion absolutely. Some think its quite OK, done in the spur of the moment, just for laughs, and should be taken in the right spirit, I have never been able to take that line of thought. The nothing personal often added at the end of such sessions, just makes it more disgusting to me. What surprises me, is the way such things happen beyond the walls of high-school, in relatively educated and elite circles. People may have a great sense of humour about themselves, and while most can take being laughed on within a circle of people with whom they feel safe and secure, I doubt anyone, really enjoys walking into a pub and being made the butt of jokes for the evening. I don't think poking fun of others is humorous in anyway at all. A person who can really get laughs, never needs to poke fun of others to do it.

I enjoy santa-banta jokes, adult jokes, situational laughter, comics, humorous blogs. Those are all my kind of humour, what is your kind ?


13 comments:

D said...

Laughing at someone is different from laughing with someone. I prefer the latter.

hitch writer said...

Generally All kinds of humour is my kind !!!! lol... !!!!! but I do understand... about that tall guy..

I have a friend too... he specialises in finding out a unique quality in everyone and makes lots of fun of it... !!! Its always easy to find a flaw but he really rubs in...

its quite sadistic... we criticise him... at times its tooo insulting...

but he amazingly also has more number of friends than all of us... dunno what sells for him.. !

Sraboney said...

Human nature is such that we love to degrade others to feel better about ourselves...It's unfortunate but that's how it is...Like D, I prefer laughing with people rather than at people...

Trish said...

I am so with u onthis one..I cant tolerate someone laughing at the expense of others..too shallow i think!

soin said...

but when youre in college its fun you know.i mean within our group of ten we keep on pulling each others leg.nice fun.extending that to everyone is stupid i guess.free

Passionate Goof said...


D - Exactly my sentiments.

Hitchy - he surely would not be my friend. I can't stand such people.

Bones - I don't think everyone does, but I get what you mean.

Trish - Its plain mean!

Soin - I know, and it works between a close group of friends. But otherwise, not so much. Always wanted to ask you, why do you write 'free' after each comment?

soin said...

i actually had it in a now dead blog.anyways you asked for it.


free.a poorer version of om in the meaning sense.multiple intepretations and usage.a word which my fellow ex-davians would have used more than any other word(gs ma pati abhi etc..).what does it mean??well i guess it means what a beatle song meant.let it be. no tensions.whatever it may be.fight exam or gifts.any mood.free.a heavy dose of non chalance.whatever is said before free comes just erase.replace.(sorry ff..).refresh and hold no grudges ,anger whatso ever.it always fills that akward moment of silence when it arises.the end of everthing.free.display most emotions other than anger.for free means just drop it in essence.full stop at times.the beggining of new sentences at times.a connector at times.just use it any where and it all fits.many people around you get irritated at first when we start using free.free ya vidu.but there is no one whp has got used to it and even started using it.the inductive effect of a word like free which can be used everywhere is quite strong.i can think of anyother word that comes close in multiple usage.fuck maybe.but u cant do that in house.free on the other hand is safe.convinctionless sentences can make sense with this.as an adrent follower of this philosophy of freeism i use it and spread it.the best part is i guess this is the only philosophy which doesnt not involve hypocriticism.aint that the best quality of any philosophy? i could go on about this.but only when you use it like i do you will realise that its nothing as it is meant to be.thats the best part.most words convey some emotion.but not free.free

R's Mom said...

Its so sickening to see people make fun of others..these same guys will never accept a joke thats made on them....Give me good humor dont give me sick humor!

Passionate Goof said...


Soin - I get your idea.... Not exactly, but the overall concept. But based on what I get, 'fuck' does not have any resemblance to 'free'!

R's Mom - Exactly what I think! And yes most of the perpetrators, can never take humour directed at them!

Rakesh said...

you know, when I was in school, I was pretty short myself but I quickly realised that before making fun of others, I first had to laugh on myself and once I did that, others were ok when I poked fun at them. So it would always start with a small joke on me but then it would be a barrage of jokes on the other ! That was fun :)

But in college, I grew up, as in grew taller so there was no need for jokes on myself. I think I became very rude during that time - I and a friend used to gang up and literally torture every other boy in the college whom we knew. We just used to stand at a corner and whoever passed by would be tortured if he stopped to say Hi to us...

Surprisingly, still, as Dhiren says above, everyone liked us :P or maybe, now I think, they just liked it when we made fun of others or maybe they just wanted to belong by being our friends... I really at times feel bad about a few really harsh jokes on a few guys.

soin said...

well these days people use fuck in every fucking place.fuck i got the job,fuck my dog died.in the same way my school guys use free.free

Passionate Goof said...


Rakesh _ teenagers are either introverts or bullies, that is the way it is, and hence the term high-school cruelty. Its an age where we are growing up, high on hormones, are still discovering ourselves, full of insecurities etc etc. Though I don't believe any of that is an excuse for cruelty, but however it happens. As long as you are not like that now, I think its OK.

Soin - But, is that how you use 'free'? Because then you can in no way compare it to 'Om'. hai na?

MRC said...

GM,

In my book,poking fun at people for their accent/mannerisms etc.. is unacceptable unless it is between equals, as in , both can give as good as they get.

Toilet humour, is really gross, although I cant help but laugh when my folks are around and the air is thick with breaking the wind kind of jokes.